Who is BU, me or SIL?

[Kokosjumping]

We have baby DS, SIL & BIL have 4 year old DD. Boxing Day is to be spent with PIL this year.

SIL is insisting we go out for the day (walking round town sale shopping etc and lunch) because PIL have a dog and she doesn't trust it around DD. I would much much rather we stayed at PILs as DS will not nap in the buggy and he will be a screaming nightmare all day if he doesn't get a decent nap. Would be happy to host at ours but we only have a 1 bed flat. SIL & BIL don't want to host. PIL happy to host.

Dog is big and lolloping but harmless and mostly just sleeps in the corner.

Who is BU? Me or her?

SIL has never been to PILs house since DD was born because of said dog except for once when dog went to neighbours.

Can't the dog be shut in the kitchen or something? I don't like dogs around young children but neither would I want to spend boxing day trailing round the shops, don't people get enough of shopping in the run up to Christmas? I'd stay at home rather than do that.

She can go. You can stay

My idea of hell would be trapsing round the shops all day. Can't mil put dog in kitchen

Yes the dog will absolutely be in the kitchen.

I have to admit I have a huge soft spot for the dog so I am probably biased

Just each of you do your own thing? Why is this even an issue?

She's being totally ridiculous and quite frankly a bit rude to your PIL. Getting her to see it that way might be another story... She's doing a good job of giving her DD a dog phobia as well...

Because I think it's nice for PIL to see both their sons at Xmas? And both their grandchildren? Is that weird

And for my DH to see his brother and niece

It's not weird to all want to do the same day. But with such different plans and expectations it's probably not going to end well.

SIL is insisting we go out for the day

'Oh SIL, when you said 'we' I thought you meant you and your daugher. I'm gong nowhere!'

I would be happy to be out for part of the day but it just seems a bit daft for her to insist they won't be in the house at all due to a dog that won't even be in the same room.

You stay in, they go out. Unless your Xmas tradition is to superglue yourself to your in laws, I'm failing to see the problem here.

She is being completely ridiculous and unless there is a backstory involving this dog then she is doing her DD absolutely no favours by being such a dick about it.

Sorry i misunderstood, I thought you were all at pil for Christmas and we're deciding what to do boxing day, ignore that. Maybe compromise to go for lunch at a hotel, avoid pil house but the hussle and bussle of town and the sales (sounds like hell)

I don't think yabu, op. It seems nothing will do for SIL regarding the poor dog, but a grumpy baby and Boxing Day shopping sound like a nightmare combo. I'd visit PIL in the morning but not go shopping, seems a fair compromise. Or visit after shopping. Don't make the holidays anymore stressful than needs be.

No way in hell would I go shopping in Boxing Day.

Agree with the others - she can go out, but you and your family stay in.

Compromise. Go for lunch, but leave them to it when they go shopping.

No we are only there for the day, not staying

Then just make what plans you want with your PIL, its them you are going to see.

Not a big fan of dogs round young children as both are so unpredictable. But if the dog will be in another room not really a problem (maybe SIL has a phobia of dogs which would then explain her reluctance to be round the dog) just meet up for lunch somewhere then do own thing

But if she's planning on lunch out and shopping all afternoon, there's no real point in her going to her in laws, is there?

I think if I were her PIL I'd see if the neighbours could take in the dog.

Can't you, your husband and baby stay at your parent in laws, your sister in law go shopping, and your parents in law choose what they'd like to do?