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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don't want MIL staying the night!

143 replies

OMFGTwoToddlers · 15/10/2016 21:02

So it's DS's 3rd birthday and we have a day trip planned as a present, both sides of grandparents coming along too. MIL coincidentally gave us a brand new single quilt that she no longer needs last week and has just messaged DP asking if she can stay over on the couch the night before DS's birthday to turn a 3.5 hour road trip into a 1.5 hour road trip. Not premeditated at all Hmm
AIBU not to want MIL staying over the night before his birthday as I just want us to celebrate his birthday on our own for an hour before we meet up with everyone else at the event?
This woman let me live in her house free of charge for 6 months whilst I was pregnant, so I feel bad refusing. But tbh I couldn't think of anything worse than have her try & take over my home the way she does everything else! And if I allow it once she will expect it again. And again. Which I don't want...ever!

OP posts:
Nurszilla · 15/10/2016 21:04

Is a hotel not an option? I would let my MIL stop over for the night to save her such a long trip, to be fair I would let most people as a 7 hour round trip for one day is crazy!

SaucyJack · 15/10/2016 21:04

Reverse or cunt?

Soubriquet · 15/10/2016 21:04

It's one night

And it saves her an additional 2 hours journey

Yabu! She helped you where you needed it. Time to return the favour

EdmundCleverClogs · 15/10/2016 21:05

Sorry, but without further dripfeed info, it reads like you are being very unreasonable. Really hope this isn't a bloody reverse...

Aliveinwanderland · 15/10/2016 21:05

Yes I would let stay. I think it would be a bit mean not to after you lived with her for so long!

GinIsIn · 15/10/2016 21:05

Unless there's a massive backstory here, YABU!!

Lilaclily · 15/10/2016 21:06

Yabu

Hiphopopotamus · 15/10/2016 21:06

You're saying she can never stay in her sons house? When she helped you out before? Yes darling. YABU

usual · 15/10/2016 21:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lilaclily · 15/10/2016 21:07

Let her have ds room and wake up him before she's up

Cynara · 15/10/2016 21:07

Yabu.

NoCapes · 15/10/2016 21:07

Yabvu

blueskyinmarch · 15/10/2016 21:08

I would let her stay given she accommodated you for 6 months previously. I think it would be churlish of you not too. I am sure your DS will love having his grandmother there when he is opening his presents. The more the merrier for children's birthdays.

Fluffsnuts · 15/10/2016 21:08

Unless you are about to give a massive drip feed, yabu!

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 15/10/2016 21:09

Surely you can have some family time after all grandparents leave.

Don't so precious.

chocomochi · 15/10/2016 21:09

I'm going to say YABU too. It's for one night and it saves her long journey.

HateSummer · 15/10/2016 21:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TheFairyCaravan · 15/10/2016 21:10

YABVU

awaits massive dripfeed

finova · 15/10/2016 21:10

My mil does similar with regards to inviting herself to things and wanting to stay overnight and has she to be the star of the show, (she only lives 30 mins away though!)
Really tricky, I'd say yes and do initial presents and cards in your room.
It is a bit annoying when you feel backed into a corner and like she's been plotting. If the journey was too much she could have suggested a meet up closer.
On the face of it YABU, having experienced similar YANBU!

MoonStar07 · 15/10/2016 21:11

This has to be a reverse? That's really nasty! She is your partner's mother FFS and your child's grandmother!!!! So what if it turns into a precedent! Jeez! Your poor MIL! YABVVU

newmumwithquestions · 15/10/2016 21:12

YABU
You lived there for 6 months!

MoonStar07 · 15/10/2016 21:12

How can you do cards and presents separately? If she is in the house?! Harsh

Notagainmun · 15/10/2016 21:12

I call reverse too and your DIL is a cow.

raviolidreaming · 15/10/2016 21:12

This has to be a reverse!

Bruce02 · 15/10/2016 21:12

This can't be real surely?

It's one night that means she cuts her journey time down by loads.

You can't let her stay one night?