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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So my dh thinks this ...

115 replies

Shopping11shopping · 15/09/2016 21:51

He thinks that as he has to drive past or sons new secondary school and it makes sense for him to drop him off ( instead of paying £2 per day bus fare ) . It will mean dh gets into his work 10 mins early instead of 30 mins early .
Ds is our youngest and dh has never done the school run.

Dh has just said that he has 'fucked himself in the arse ' as he agreed to take ds to school.

I earn a lot more than dh and my career is taking off so I was hoping to have an extra 30 mins in the mornings for the first time in 10 years . It seems dh won't help wth getting his ds to school .
I feel sad . AUBU ?

OP posts:
DoreenLethal · 15/09/2016 21:53

Does that mean you have been fucking yourself in the arse all these years?
What sort of man is this that you are married to? He sounds a right wanker.

BodsAuntieFlo · 15/09/2016 21:54

He thinks that as he has to drive past or sons new secondary school and it makes sense for him to drop him off

It seems dhwon't help with getting his DS to school

Completely and utterly confused.

Buzzardbird · 15/09/2016 21:55

What a great parent he is!

pinkyredrose · 15/09/2016 21:55

He's a twat. It's about time he did the school run. Is he not supportive of your career or something? What difference will 20 minutes make if he's early anyway?

AyeAmarok · 15/09/2016 21:55

I don't follow.

He said he would, then changed his mind?

BestZebbie · 15/09/2016 21:55
  1. YANBU to feel sad that your DH considers doing a basic parental chore in those terms. Especially if he is fine for you to do it - clearly you getting fucked in the arse is just fine by him then.
  2. Not sure what your earning potential has got to do with deserving more time in the mornings, especially as generally a higher earner is more likely to be salaried rather than on hourly pay so it isn't as if you'll earn extra money by getting in early.
Original poster
Shopping11shopping · 15/09/2016 21:56

I guess I am shocked he said he has 'fucked himself in the arse ' by offering to drop his son to a school that he drives right past .

OP posts:
sonlypuppyfat · 15/09/2016 21:56

I'm struggling to get this too

JenLindleyShitMom · 15/09/2016 21:56

Huh? How is being 10 minutes early for work a problem? Did he not expect to have to do any parenting when he chose to be a parent? Or did he assume the children would just slot in around his life and existing habits?

ThereIsIron · 15/09/2016 21:56

Just spend the tenner on the bus. Who the hell goes to work 30 minutes early?

RubbleBubble00 · 15/09/2016 21:56

So he's agreed to take him to school, he's regretting it as he wont get his early start in work so made a daft comment?

Balanced12 · 15/09/2016 21:57

He's already agreed to do it, so he needs to get over it and get on with it.

Additional time to speak to his DS one on one is priceless, tell him to make the most of it before DS works out his 20 mins waiting for the start of work are more important.

JenLindleyShitMom · 15/09/2016 21:57

Well he said he would do it so that's what's happening now. Do not do it OP! It's his job now.

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 15/09/2016 21:58

Totally confused - is he doing it or not?

If he us doing it, I'd just say "Whatever, dear" re: the arse fucking comments. He's doing it

Mojito7 · 15/09/2016 21:58

OP - so is he taking DS to school or not then?

What's the drama if he has to drive past that way?

Why does it all mean?

MrsJoeyMaynard · 15/09/2016 21:59

Is he still going to take your DS to school, and just having a bit of a moan, or is he going back on the offer to take your DS to school?

Scarydinosaurs · 15/09/2016 21:59

Sorry OP can you explain what this means?

Original poster
Shopping11shopping · 15/09/2016 22:00

Yes I am sad he feels this way . He has to drive right past the school . Ds does not want to be really early but dh likes to be really early to work even though he does not need to be .
I think he is being an complete twat .
He says he can't wait until the children leave home . I feel sad as they were planned . It feels like now they are older / teens he can't wit to get shot of them whereas I am enjoying them more

OP posts:
MyWineTime · 15/09/2016 22:00

So he is being an arse with his attitude, but I generally think it is better for kids to get themselves to and from secondary school if at all possible.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 15/09/2016 22:01

Has he refused to do it? Or do you object to his choice of words?

Original poster
Shopping11shopping · 15/09/2016 22:02

I have said I will take ds to school or pay the bus fare even though I work in the opposite direction as I feel sorry for ds as dh is shouty and moody in th mornings

OP posts:
MyWineTime · 15/09/2016 22:02

Did he offer to do the drop off in the first place, or was it just assumed that seeing that he was driving past the school, he would be doing it?

Scarydinosaurs · 15/09/2016 22:03

He can say what he likes, just ignore it and let him moan. Don't let him push the responsibility onto you.

ADishBestEatenCold · 15/09/2016 22:03

So is that it?

You're asking AYBU for being shocked that your DH said he has 'fucked himself in the arse ' by offering to drop his son at school? Yes?

No not at all. I too would be at least a bit Hmm at DH saying this, but as long as he did take the child to school, then I wouldn't bother too much.

Your DH is going to take your DS to school, yes?

DiegeticMuch · 15/09/2016 22:05

I didn't understand your OP but you've subsequently clarified it. I agree that your DH has used awful terminology. However, I think that secondary school children should be getting themselves to and from school. Maybe he thinks that you mollycoddle them?