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AIBU?

So my dh thinks this ...

115 replies

Shopping11shopping · 15/09/2016 21:51

He thinks that as he has to drive past or sons new secondary school and it makes sense for him to drop him off ( instead of paying £2 per day bus fare ) . It will mean dh gets into his work 10 mins early instead of 30 mins early .
Ds is our youngest and dh has never done the school run.

Dh has just said that he has 'fucked himself in the arse ' as he agreed to take ds to school.

I earn a lot more than dh and my career is taking off so I was hoping to have an extra 30 mins in the mornings for the first time in 10 years . It seems dh won't help wth getting his ds to school .
I feel sad . AUBU ?

OP posts:

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ImperialBlether · 15/09/2016 22:34

Can't they compromise? If your husband could get to work 20 minutes early then wouldn't that suit them both? As far as your son's concerned, lots of kids arrive at school early - I don't think he should be able to insist on being there just when he wants.

As far as your husband is concerned, he doesn't sound very nice at all.

WorraLiberty · 15/09/2016 22:35

I think a compromise is the fairest solution here.

ShebaShimmyShake · 15/09/2016 22:37

There's no reason a child should have to hang around for 20 minutes waiting for school to start just because his father likes to drink tea in the office.

PickAChew · 15/09/2016 22:38

Oh well, your DH can just go fuck himself in the arse some more. And of course, he won't mind at all when you give your DS £10 each week for his bus fare.

What a dickhead.

Lilacpink40 · 15/09/2016 22:41

What does your DS think?

If bus, then pay the £10 per week.
If his dad, then keep out of the way, don't offer to help (as you've sorted older ones) and they'll work things out between them.

WorraLiberty · 15/09/2016 22:41

Oh come on Sheba, it's hardly a bad thing to teach a senior school child that if he wants a lift from his parent/parents, he might have to compromise too.

They're his parents, not a taxi service.

Shopping11shopping · 15/09/2016 22:42

Yes I feel he is being a complete and utter cock over this .
If ds got the bus he would have to leave before dh due to the bus route and it would cost us £10 per week that we can't afford to pay if we don't need to .
I am incredibly sad that dh will let ds feel like a burden and an inconvenience when we had discussed how it would make sense and agreed .
I really feel like LTB over this or actually making him leave as he is so selfish

OP posts:

ShebaShimmyShake · 15/09/2016 22:46

There's no reason for him to "compromise" just so his dad can drink tea in the office instead of at home. It's not as though the father has to be at work at that time. Kids shouldn't have to hang around for ages at the school gates just so their parents can drink tea in different surroundings.

Especially when the dad has been happy for the mum to inconvenience herself for ten years.

JillyTheDependableBoot · 15/09/2016 22:46

This is actually nothing to do with you. It's a matter for your husband and son to sort out. He's agreed to drop DS off at work, therefore you're out of the arrangement. The two of them need to negotiate what time they leave and whether DS gets more time to get ready in the morning or DH gets more time for his tea at work. Leave them to it. (I'm on Team DS.)

cardibach · 15/09/2016 22:46

Lots of schools have a breakfast club where pupils can get something to eat and do homework etc. Does DS's school do this? If so, problem solved. DS is dropped off early for breakfast club, DH gets to work when he wants (I always aim for 30 mins early too), everyone is happy. DS could even get a lie in if he has breakfast at school instead of home (although that will add cost).

Shopping11shopping · 15/09/2016 22:46

There is no need for dh to be at work so early at all . He does not work in an office environment and can park right by the building he works in . He just likes to 'chill out ' for awhile before work .

OP posts:

ShebaShimmyShake · 15/09/2016 22:47

Behaviour like this doesn't come out of nowhere. I'm interested to know what else this dad does, or rather doesn't, do.

Iggi999 · 15/09/2016 22:47

Loads of secondary children arrive early and hang about with their mates. I get to work an hour before I start ideally and Dh does the drop offs. If this swapped over I might not use the phrase he did, but I'd be really stressed about it and annoyed. We sometimes moan about things we have to do for our kids but would never let them get wind of it - it's just letting off steam. Can't judge of this is what your Dh is doing or if he's genuinely awful. Your OP was incredibly hard to follow!

JillyTheDependableBoot · 15/09/2016 22:48

at school not at work

SandyY2K · 15/09/2016 22:49

I'd let him get the bus on some days to ease things. If he's normally used to getting into work 30 minutes early, then this is a bit of a change for him.

Didn't he realise this when he agreed to drop him off?

gettingtherequickly · 15/09/2016 22:49

Not sure why getting to school early would be an issue for your son?

SandyY2K · 15/09/2016 22:50

Wanting them to leave home ASAP isn't very nice of him. Didn't he want children?

RebelRogue · 15/09/2016 22:58

Seems like this is just the tip on the iceberg op if you are ready to LTB over it.

P.s. Both me and oh are eager for dd to leave the house...she's only 4

Inertia · 15/09/2016 23:00

Sounds like DH likes to have an excuse to absolve himself of all his family responsibilities.

He sounds pretty horrible towards your children.

SanityAssassin · 15/09/2016 23:02

I get to work an hour before I start ideally

Why? really - I'm fascinated.

FurryLittleTwerp · 15/09/2016 23:04

My DH drove right past DS's school one day a week for many years but refused to take him or to be involved in the lift-share, so I went the long way round to work until DS started getting the bus.

His reason - he would get to work too early - he would have been able to go inside, have a coffee, read the paper but no, not convenient

ishallconquerthat · 15/09/2016 23:09

"shouty and moody in the mornings" - is he 7?

If he's not 7, then he has to get hist act together and act like and adult FFS!!!

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LellyMcKelly · 15/09/2016 23:13

Why doesn't he just drop your son off a bit earlier?

miaowmix · 15/09/2016 23:22

who gets to work early on purpose and more importantly, WHY?
When there's bed, or coffee, or anything really else to do. Genuinely intrigued...

ThereIsIron · 15/09/2016 23:27

Why don't you fuck him up the arse and then ask him to choose between that and the school run ...

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