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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends behaviour towards this smoker

163 replies

Sherlocked1606 · 14/06/2016 14:03

I met a friend this morning for coffee, it was dry out so we sat outside at the café's table and chairs.

A few minutes after we sat done another couple sat down and proceeded to light a cigarette. Unfortunately due to the breeze the smoke was wafting towards us.

My friend asked the woman to not have her smoke in our direction the woman apologised and kind of moved her hand in a fan motion.

A few minutes later my friend was getting annoyed and asks again to stop the smoke traveling. The man at the other table just turned and glared at us.

My friend got out a small portable fan and turned it on and pointed it at the couple which loudly saying how selfish smokers are, how disgusting it was. People were starring and the couple (and me) was embarrassed. The couple then left.

I told my friend that she was being ridiculous and we could have moved. My friend seemed to think I wbu rather than her. Wsbu?

OP posts:
MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 14/06/2016 14:04

That's hilarious.

You're friend is bonkers.

RebeccaWithTheGoodHair · 14/06/2016 14:04

Friend was unreasonable and you were nice and tolerant!

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 14/06/2016 14:04

Your friend

Ubercorn · 14/06/2016 14:06

I'm the worst kind of ex-smoker, I hate smoking, but I think she was being very unreasonable to act so childishly rude. In most cafes, the outside area is also the smoking area and that's the chance you take when you sit outside. Is she usually such an arse?

hellsbellsmelons · 14/06/2016 14:07

asked the woman to not have her smoke in our direction
Brilliant!
So this woman can control the weather and wind direction now!
Wonderful.

Your friend is a bit bonkers but when you don't smoke and it is blowing your way it's not very nice.
(and I smoke)

Toxicity · 14/06/2016 14:29

I think she could have handled the situation better but I do sympathise with the smoke blowing in her direction, that is never pleasant.

expatinscotland · 14/06/2016 14:31

Oh, goody, another smoking thread. The militants will be out soon (and no, I'm not a smoker).

legotits · 14/06/2016 14:34

Ask any smoker.
It only blows where you least want it to!

You were normal and friend U leaning towards the unhinged.
Saying that if I was the smoker and she produced a mini fan I would put it out purely as a nod to her commitment to the cause Grin

AliceThrewTheFookingGlass · 14/06/2016 14:34

Does she carry the fan around purely for that reason? Grin

I think your friend is BU though.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 14/06/2016 14:35

Are you even allowed to smoke on eating establishment premises (even outside)?

I would have thought that had long been stomped out (waits to be corrected).

Your friend sounds great, btw. Full of PA high dramatics. Grin

specialsubject · 14/06/2016 14:40

how would that have worked?

simple solution - move upwind of smokers (and excessive perfume wearers). Problem solved.

or could politely ask to swap seats.

OliviaStabler · 14/06/2016 14:44

I hate cigarette smoke but your friend was rude and unreasonable. Most cafe's have seats outside because the smokers can no longer legally smoke inside. You know if you sit outside a cafe or restaurant there is a chance that someone will light up.

hellsbellsmelons · 14/06/2016 14:50

Are you even allowed to smoke on eating establishment premises
If they have an outside area then yes you usually can.
Some places have no smoking at all but not many.
Although smoking is on the decline they would still lose a lot of custom.
It will come soon enough though.
Hopefully not pubs though, otherwise that will just kill our pub trade entirely.

DavidPuddy · 14/06/2016 14:51

Cafes have tables outside because it is pleasant to sit outside, Olivia, not as a designated smoking area.

The woman was rude to not stand away whilst smoking, if your friend had politely informed her. Smoking is anti social and there are no two ways about it.

Maybebabybee · 14/06/2016 14:52

Your friend is bats.

HelpALostCause · 14/06/2016 14:54

Did she start fake coughing, glaring and coughing some more as if she was being suffocated? If so, we know the same person!

thecitydoc · 14/06/2016 14:55

I am with your friend. Smokers have a habit of holding their filthy cancer sticks in such a way that the disgusting smokes wafts away from them and over other people. I would have done just as she did if I had a fan - well done her.

hellsbellsmelons · 14/06/2016 14:55

It's not always pleasant to sit outside.
In fact in England it's very bloody rare.
But all the anit-smokers, insisted that smokers couldn't smoke inside.
So guess what?
Yes, they smoke outside - shock horror!!!

Pinkheart5915 · 14/06/2016 14:56

I don't smoke and I hate cigarette smoke but I would never moan at somebody for smoking outside that poor woman couldn't help the direction the wind was blowing, last time I checked it's a free country and smoking outside is perfectly legal.

Getting the fan out really? Your friend is strange.

suesue89 · 14/06/2016 14:59

I'm not a smoker but I wish I was there because your friend would of got a right earful. How rude I hate the smell of smoke but sorry to burst her bubble but it's not against the law to smoke outside. If I was the smoker I would of smoked in your friends face loooool

acasualobserver · 14/06/2016 15:00

The aggressive, self-righteous twattery of the anti-smoking brigade really gives me the urge to buy some cigarettes. And I haven't smoked for 22 years.

usual · 14/06/2016 15:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SirChenjin · 14/06/2016 15:02

Kudos to your friend. You were there first, other person came and sat down next to you and lit up - your friend simply directed her smoke back at her. Well done her! Grin

Dancergirl · 14/06/2016 15:03

The aggressive, self-righteous twattery of the anti-smoking brigade really gives me the urge to buy some cigarettes

What about the selfishness of some smokers who will light up anywhere with no regard for people eating or children about etc....? Yes it's legal to smoke outside but a bit of consideration would be nice.

blankmind · 14/06/2016 15:03

You need an 8yr old Wink

In a similar situation and location, without any prior discussion or any mention by me, mine stood up, pointed and in the loud voice that only children can manage announced "That lady with the cigarette is trying to kill me"

Don't know which of the 2 adults present was the most embarrassed, but the smoker extinguished her cigarette and moved off.