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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends behaviour towards this smoker

163 replies

Sherlocked1606 · 14/06/2016 14:03

I met a friend this morning for coffee, it was dry out so we sat outside at the café's table and chairs.

A few minutes after we sat done another couple sat down and proceeded to light a cigarette. Unfortunately due to the breeze the smoke was wafting towards us.

My friend asked the woman to not have her smoke in our direction the woman apologised and kind of moved her hand in a fan motion.

A few minutes later my friend was getting annoyed and asks again to stop the smoke traveling. The man at the other table just turned and glared at us.

My friend got out a small portable fan and turned it on and pointed it at the couple which loudly saying how selfish smokers are, how disgusting it was. People were starring and the couple (and me) was embarrassed. The couple then left.

I told my friend that she was being ridiculous and we could have moved. My friend seemed to think I wbu rather than her. Wsbu?

OP posts:
Sherlocked1606 · 14/06/2016 17:08

I don't smoke, don't like it and think it's daft to chose to do it. I think it's rank.

However I was embarrassed by my friends behaviour. We could have moved. I did give her the nod to move but she didn't want to.

She had the fan with her as she is often complaining about the heat in Scotland

I've never known her to behave in this way. She isn't pregnant as far as I know.

OP posts:
suesue89 · 14/06/2016 17:18

Dancegirl I fully understand been considerate but what her friend did was crazy there is no excuse for her rudeness and if you support that then one day you'd probably get an earful too 😐

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 14/06/2016 17:23

No smoker can justify the danger of their smoke but why are all smokers tarred ('s'cuse the pun) with the same brush?

Some smokers are selfish and inconsiderate but I would very rarely smoke in public, always move away from others and will use a designated area if there is one. Usually, it's easier to smoke in my own garden at home and most of the smokers I know have the same attitude to their filthy habit. The name calling and hate directed at all smokers is not justifiable.

AnUtterIdiot · 14/06/2016 17:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

0hCrepe · 14/06/2016 17:37

We walked past someone smoking the other day and it made ds start spluttering and coughing. He wasn't being precocious, it just caught the back of his throat. Wouldn't have happened if they'd been eating a cream cake or whatever so comparisons with eating make no sense.
I tolerate being with people smoking outside but it really is unpleasant and I would rather not have to. I think they should have a big screen to screen off smokers in all outdoor places so non smokers can enjoy being outside too.

OliviaStabler · 14/06/2016 17:38

Cafes have tables outside because it is pleasant to sit outside, Olivia, not as a designated smoking area.

Not many cafés in my area had tables outside before the smoking ban. Appreciate where you live it may be different.

The woman was rude to not stand away whilst smoking, if your friend had politely informed her. Smoking is anti social and there are no two ways about it.

The plain fact is the smoker is allowed to smoke where she likes in open air public spaces, whether we like it or not.

innocentinfamy · 14/06/2016 17:41

It's not about the legality, it's about consideration.

Grouchymare · 14/06/2016 18:04

I hate smokers, think they are all disgusting, selfish human beings who should stay in their houses breathing in their own stench instead of coming outside and making my life unpleasant.....that being said even I think your friend was being unreasonable - I'd have settled for signing loudly and before moving indoors.

Maybebabybee · 14/06/2016 18:16

Some people on this forum have serious stick up the arse issues.

I don't smoke, never have, don't like it and don't dispute how bad it is for you.

But some of the reactions and vitriol here are so OTT it's unreal, grouchy's last post being a case in point.

RebelRogue · 14/06/2016 19:20

I'm a horrible,selfish,stupid,smelly,rank smoker. I don't really smoke in public and when i do i tend to do it away from crowds,or designated smoking places and if no one is about and i'm in the middle of the road and a child goes by i hide the fag behind my back,or put it above my head so smoke doesn't blow in their face. I try to be considerate,ask permission etc. What pisses me off the most os that o'm sitting down,puffing away and then some precious person comes and sits next to me and goes on rants about my smoking!! I mean really? U fucking sat right next to a person that was already smoking!!

SabineUndine · 14/06/2016 19:49

I loathe being near smokers but your friend was being a right twat.

cupidsgame · 15/06/2016 06:25

Rebel you're not stupid at all, I refuse to be drawn into this hate against smokers. It's a very powerful addiction, I used to smoke myself. People should rant against the tobacco companies for making their cigarettes so addictive, not the poor smoker.Most smokers want to give up, but it's damned hard.

swamitjanet · 15/06/2016 06:42

My friend got out a small portable fan and turned it on and pointed it at the couple which loudly saying how selfish smokers are, how disgusting it was

Of course she was BU but also hilarious.

Oldsu · 15/06/2016 06:46

I smoke but never smoke outside a café even though I can (unless here are notices up saying its not permissible)

I was sitting outside a café the other day and was looking for something in my bag so I took a few things out including my fags, immediately a woman on the next table said ' I don't like smoking you have no right to smoke next to me,

I just looked at and said well actually I wasn't going to but I will now and proceeded to light up, I also informed her that every table outside had an ashtray on it so it was clear the owners had no objection to the area being used for smoking and suggested she went to another café where there are no ashtrays and signs up prohibiting smoking (there are several on the high street)

Seriously it was HER attitude that was wrong in that case not mine

SoupDragon · 15/06/2016 09:04

Actually, I think both your attitudes were wrong for different reasons.

I hate smoking not smokers

2ManySweets · 15/06/2016 09:11

God, I hope your chum doesn't ever have to travel to continental Europe. If she'd done that in France she'd have probably been thrown off the premises Grin

KERALA1 · 15/06/2016 09:13

Hilarious.

I have a stroppy friend who shouted "enjoying your picnic" to a maddening couple who rustled sweets all the way through the film we were watching. I was half mortified half impressed!

WhatALoadOfWankers · 15/06/2016 09:25

For Gods sake it's a fag
I hate this bloody anti smoking shit
How can you complain that they smoke in the only place they can
You move

innocentinfamy · 15/06/2016 09:54

SoupDragon you nailed it. Smile

Pootles2010 · 15/06/2016 09:57

Oh god i don't smoke and this annoys me! So the rest of the year, when its pishing it down, the smokers freeze their asses off outside, then the few weeks its sunny the non-smokers think they can swan in and tell the smokers to feck off?

Talk about entitled! I don't like smoking, but it's a terrible attitude to have.

ScoutandAtticus · 15/06/2016 10:07

I don't agree with the way your friend handled it but understand the sentiment. I had the same time thing happen a few weeks ago when we say out in a pub garden to eat our lunch when the person next to us lit up. We just went in doors. It got my back up but they are allowed to smoke there and not inside. Its inconsiderate to smoke when other people are trying to eat and enjoy a confined space even if it outside, but until it's illegal there's not much you can do. I remember the days when I had to air my clothes after a night in the pub due to the stench of smoke- things have definitley moved on since then Grin

Gowgirl · 15/06/2016 10:33

If we ban gobby children, especially in pubs the world would be a better place!

Soft play centres are completely non smoking! EnjoyGrin

hellsbellsmelons · 15/06/2016 10:56

Gowgirl Grin

SmellyTelly · 15/06/2016 11:18

Lol summer time blues

SoupDragon · 15/06/2016 11:59

If we ban gobby children, especially in pubs the world would be a better place!

Let's not just limit that to children...

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