Friends behaviour towards this smoker

[Sherlocked1606]

I met a friend this morning for coffee, it was dry out so we sat outside at the café's table and chairs.

A few minutes after we sat done another couple sat down and proceeded to light a cigarette. Unfortunately due to the breeze the smoke was wafting towards us.

My friend asked the woman to not have her smoke in our direction the woman apologised and kind of moved her hand in a fan motion.

A few minutes later my friend was getting annoyed and asks again to stop the smoke traveling. The man at the other table just turned and glared at us.

My friend got out a small portable fan and turned it on and pointed it at the couple which loudly saying how selfish smokers are, how disgusting it was. People were starring and the couple (and me) was embarrassed. The couple then left.

I told my friend that she was being ridiculous and we could have moved. My friend seemed to think I wbu rather than her. Wsbu?

'In a similar situation and location, without any prior discussion or any mention by me, mine stood up, pointed and in the loud voice that only children can manage announced "That lady with the cigarette is trying to kill me"'

And you see this as something to be proud of? I have a 7-year-old with ASD and I would tell him off if he said something like this. Because it's fucking rude.

Not as fucking rude as lighting up next to a 7/8 year old and letting the smoke blow into their face.

'Not as fucking rude as lighting up next to a 7/8 year old and letting the smoke blow into their face.'

Um, right, sure

No ums about it. It's fucking rude, ignorant, thoughtless, selfish and so on and on.

Us smokers are the modern day lepers of society The portable fan is very funny, I think a face mask covering nose and mouth would have been more effective.

In a similar situation and location, without any prior discussion or any mention by me, mine stood up, pointed and in the loud voice that only children can manage announced "That lady with the cigarette is trying to kill me"

Your child was not only rude but wrong. That lady was not trying to kill her/him. In fact, s/he would not have been in any danger at all.

I also don't think all smokers should be lumped together as inconsiderate. I'm very paranoid about smoking in public areas and quite aware I'm being glared at if I'm a few feet from a non smoker.

There will always be some selfish inconsiderate people but they're a minority.

All smokers are stupid. You are paying thousand of pounds to kill yourself. Don't except an applause from the rest of us. I literally have no idea why smokers think it is OK to smoke all over other people. Fundamentally I guess their addiction just makes them rude, selfish bastards.

Your friend sounds batshit. That's so rude. If the smokers were breaking the law, then it may be slightly acceptable but, OMG! I dislike smoke as well, so would have sat inside.

I always think cigarette smoke is a bit like a cat - always heads straight for the person who hates it most. In my case, me (for the smoke, I quite like cats).

Your friend was mad as a tree though for expecting the smoker to be able to direct her smoke - I expect she was hoping the woman would put her fag out or leave.

it would be the last time i went anywhere in public with such a twatty friend

What's she like with car traffic.

Would you call an overweight person a stupid bastard nutella because they're addicted to food and are paying money to kill themselves? What about someone with a drug addiction, another stupid bastard?
How narrow minded.

I am a smoker but would never smoke in close proximity to other people especially when they are eating. I would always move out of the way.

Sounds like your friend and the smoker were both being less than reasonable.

I have carried a portable fan in my bag, when I worked in a very stuffy office, so I suppose it's possible she wasn't carrying it for just such an occasion as this. Otherwise, it is a bit fighty.

But, someone smoking where the prevailing breeze will inevitably carry their smoke to other people is being inconsiderate. She "kind of moved her hand in a fan motion" - well that'll make a difference! No, probably not.

Should you have moved? I would probably have suggested to the smoker that we swapped tables so that I could be upwind of her, but I'm guessing that would have embarrassed you too.

yes, if you are a smoker you and your habit do stink, you know it and you do piss off a lot of people. Your choice. If you are addicted, there's free help.

BUT it is also legal to smoke outside. It is considerate to smoke away and downwind from others, and while it is legal to smoke at outdoor food tables it is quite revolting.

So...once someone has sat down and lit up, they've demonstrated their attitude to others. Move upwind as arguing will get you nowhere.

the silly arse car argument always comes up. I have yet to see someone drive their car to a cafe table and leave the engine on.

Your friend sounds utterly bonkers. I hope she realises that the pollution from traffic would be far more harmful than a single cigarette smoked by someone in an outside area. So I certainly hope she never goes anywhere near cars!

BTW, I am not now nor have I ever been a smoker.

"Your child was not only rude but wrong. That lady was not trying to kill her/him. In fact, s/he would not have been in any danger at all"

It's now illegal to smoke in cars with children present. I don't see how this is very different from smoking right next to a child with the smoke blowing over them.

Would that be the pollution from the car that wasn't on the next table blowing its exhaust fumes over her?

The 2 are not mutually exclusive you know.

In a similar situation and location, without any prior discussion or any mention by me, mine stood up, pointed and in the loud voice that only children can manage announced "That lady with the cigarette is trying to kill me"

Wow. What an extraordinarily rude thing for a child to say.

a bit of consideration would be nice

I agree. Of course consideration for others is important. It applies to the parents who refuse to control their children's anti-social behaviour in public spaces. It applies to the man eating particularly smelly food on the train. It applies to the people who do not offer their seat to the elderly woman standing on the bus. It applies to the person who smokes at an outside cafe table. Lack of consideration is everywhere we look but only lack of consideration in the matter of smoking prompts this insanely disproportionate reaction. I have not smoked for 22 years and am very much opposed to it but I cannot subscribe to the spite and vitriol heaped upon smokers. As I said in my first post, I am sorely tempted to begin smoking again in order to show solidarity for a persecuted minority. That I might have to opportunity to make a few rabid anti-smokers very angry would be a bonus.

Wow. What an extraordinarily rude thing for a smoker to do. Good on that child for calling out that ignorant adult.