Friends behaviour towards this smoker

[Sherlocked1606]

I met a friend this morning for coffee, it was dry out so we sat outside at the café's table and chairs.

A few minutes after we sat done another couple sat down and proceeded to light a cigarette. Unfortunately due to the breeze the smoke was wafting towards us.

My friend asked the woman to not have her smoke in our direction the woman apologised and kind of moved her hand in a fan motion.

A few minutes later my friend was getting annoyed and asks again to stop the smoke traveling. The man at the other table just turned and glared at us.

My friend got out a small portable fan and turned it on and pointed it at the couple which loudly saying how selfish smokers are, how disgusting it was. People were starring and the couple (and me) was embarrassed. The couple then left.

I told my friend that she was being ridiculous and we could have moved. My friend seemed to think I wbu rather than her. Wsbu?

It's now illegal to smoke in cars with children present. I don't see how this is very different from smoking right next to a child with the smoke blowing over them.

There is, very obviously, a difference even if you can't see it.

Agree 100% with that, usual. The smoker was doing nothing wrong. The child, on the other hand, was breathtakingly rude.

Hard to hear the truth, isn't it. Keep your stinking smoke away from children and you'll not have to hear it.

acasualobserver of all the examples you've given, smoking right next to someone is the only one that is proven to impact another person's health

Nothing wrong with letting smoke blow into a child's face?

blank your kid sounds like a PITA.

And I don't like smoking.

What is the difference casual? Someone sitting in the front sit of their car with their window wide open, with the smoke being drawn directly outside, is breaking the law if there is a child present but someone smoking right next to a child, with the smoke blowing over that child, is not an issue?

Er, who was blowing smoke in a child's face?

I love your friend carrying around a portable fan in her bag. Brilliant idea!
One of my pet hates in the summer is after you've paid to eat a meal in a nice cafe/pub and choose to sit outside in the outside EATING AREA and a smoker comes along and lights up a stinky fag. That's seriously rude IMO.

mine stood up, pointed and in the loud voice that only children can manage announced "That lady with the cigarette is trying to kill me"

I hope you told your ill mannered child off, shouting and pointing at people like that. How rude.

I'm with SirChenjin. I am very hot on manners with my dc but if my 8yo had said that I wouldn't be rushing to tell him off, because it is shockingly inconsiderate to smoke near a child.

OP, your friend went further than I would have done, but fundamentally I'm with her. Smoking is gradually losing its social acceptability, and about time too.

Quite Usual the thread was about two adults drinking coffee in an outside cafe near a smoker

Why is it 'rude' for a child to point out an uncomfortable truth (or near-truth, because while that lady was not deliberately trying to kill the child, the fact remains that she didn't give a shit about him/her and the effect on thir health) which is entirely the fault of the smoker?

She sounds like a complete idiot, I would have been incredibly embarrassed being with her!

I am an ex smoker and still love the smell of a cigarette - I almost actively encourage smokers to blow smoke my way!

In a similar situation and location, without any prior discussion or any mention by me, mine stood up, pointed and in the loud voice that only children can manage announced "That lady with the cigarette is trying to kill me"

Is that you Ned Flanders?

By that logic hetero it would be perfectly acceptable for kids to go around pointing out fat people

There's a huge sign on the side of building in my town saying

"Smoking around children is akin to child abuse and tantamount to man slaughter"

I always wonder if a MNer made it

By that logic..the child could take a stand at little Billy's party when offered jelly and ice cream, pointing and shouting at the mum,
" You're trying to kill us, don't you know there's an obesity crisis and a diabetes epidemic amongst young children?"

Your friend sounds really rude.

The only time I've ever commented on someone smoking is when I was sat at an outside table with 3 kids and my Auntie in a wheelchair - there was only a few tables suitable for our group. Despite 19 other empty tables a man sat at the one next to us and lit up. I don't know what brand he smoked but it minged. I asked him why he'd chosen that table out of all of them and he called me a whiny cunt and moved.

People with too much perfume are more plentiful than smokers I find. How they don't get a headache I don't know. Woman on the bus this morning smelled like she'd bathed in Zoflora.

So many smokers absolutely reek. They have stinky breath and smelly clothes. Some just smell like fresh outdoorsy smoking which can be quite a nice smell. But you can tell who smokes a lot and indoors as well as the smoke smell builds up. Yeuch.

Your friend was bu, to the person on page 1 who said smoking is anti-social I think smoking is very social I talk to loads of people whilest outside smoking.

(And before anyone asks if i counted tables, I worked there. They gave 20 outdoor tables and we were the only ones there. I'm not that weird that I counted!)

It's about compromise, as a smoker I'd feel self conscious about lighting up in close proximity to others (not smoking) in a scenario as described above. Some of the small outside areas outside the likes of Pret etc aren't ideal for smoking because they're pretty cramped. If it had been mentioned to me I would have been mortified (but I can't control wind direction).

The only place I ever really enjoy a ciggie outside is my favourite quiet corner of the park near work (next to the bin) and my own garden. Plus we have a fairly seedy pub with scruffy back garden area where nobody eats and it's full of smokers so it's kinda ok there. I feel sorry for any non smoker who wants to enjoy a coffee and a chat and gets smoked on (but the fan was ott).