MN is a weird place

[fatmomma99]

I've commented on threads and had to then find a few weeks or months later a thread on a similar theme with every poster agreeing with what I'd said on the original thread (where were you all when I got my biscuits???)

It's not a criticism, but I'm stunned by how many posters on here are not parents. AND COMPLAIN about the parent bias. Posts like "this is discriminating against people who haven't had children". Dur, it's a parenting website. Again, everyone is welcome, and I have no issues with people who aren't parents. But to me it's like 'if you want to play in the playground with the big kids, don't complain about the big kids'. I'm not saying anyone who is a parent is bigger or better than anyone on here who doesn't have children, but this is a website set up for PARENTS AND CARERS (and there was this amazing thread once by this woman who was at university and having a hard time with her flatmate and she said she was on here because her mum was a MN-er). I honestly don't care if your on here and a mum/not a mum, black/white/any colour, male/female/any gender, uk/anywhere else. I LOVE that what the internet gives us is a blurring of all of those and to me, everyone is welcome and appreciated for what they bring to the table. But I honestly don't understand someone posting on this site saying "I'm not a mum and I don't use the internet, how dare you discriminate against me!"

And some threads are very, very odd. Had a glorious weekend. Was intending to sort garden, but it's been raining so been on MN for 2 solid days. Sometimes threads go very, very odd.

And yet, I love it. I put up a post yesterday, had some fab advice and it sorted my problem - job done. Thank you MN

And it makes me laugh.

And cry.

And then laugh again. And then cry again.

And it's ALL so far away from RL.

It's an odd place.

But I feel at home here. Maybe that makes me odd!

Which thread?

What do the biscuits mean please? Pardon my ignorance.

It basically means "you're being a wanker, well done", Worcs.

It was a thread about waxing your undercarriage which earnt me my most s

I suggested they don't bother and look like the women they are rather than the child they used to be. Can slightly understand why that upset them! ! ! But there have been at least 2 threads since glorying in hair and I did think "where were you when I was being flamed"?

Ah, thanks Alis

And the OTHER thing that gets me (now on a roll) is parents who can't be bothered to parent and boast about it.

I've only got one child (a DD) and she took 6 years to conceive, so I'm unapologetically PFB about her, even though she's 14 now. Because it took 6 fucking years to make her (which is an awful lot of periods which made me cry).

And then I read posts which say things like "no, I've never watched DC in a sporting event - they're so boring and I get cold".
Although I've only got one child, lots of her friends are children of 3 or more, so I absolutely get "parent 1 doing x, parent 2 doing y and friend of parent sorting child 3"
Yes, sporting (and other events) are boring and as a spectator you get cold. But it wouldn't occur to ANY of us not to be there.

Or posters saying "it's boring playing with my child, so I don't do it"

I always think "but you CHOSE to have children. They didn't ASK to be born. We can say "no". We have contraceptives. We have morning after pill. We have abortion. We have adoption/fostering". You ignored ALL of those options and then say "no, of course I never watch DS play football, it's cold and boring. no, I don't play fairies with my 3-yr-old DD because they don't exist".

It's not that I think I'm a great parent. I actually think I'm borderline SS most of the time. But BOASTING you don't support your children in their activities because it's boring for you? And LAMBASTING me because I do? On a parenting website. Isn't that like going to an AA meeting and boasting how pissed you got?

MN is weird.

But I love it, so (I guess) bring on the weirdness!

That's how Mumsnet goes I'm afraid!

It is true in any given hour the responses you get to your thread might be different. It's easy to forget how many people actually post on MN when you see the same names often but there's an absolutely huge amount users.

Also often the first few responses to a thread will set the tone.

I once got a positive response in AIBU when I started a thread about dogs which is pretty much unheard of!

I have PCOS- found out when I was 16. Met DH at 18, married at 20 and fell pregnant via IVF at 21. Found out again I was pregnant (naturally) 9 months later.

I'm not a "natural" parent. Never have been and never will be. It's hard work for me at times.

I went to DS's and DD1s nativity last year and will go this year if DD2 is cast. After that will I go? Sure, if I have the day off. Otherwise- probably not. I would rather use up my AL taking them on holiday, to visit family or taking them on trips out that will teach them more than me sat on a plastic chair for 45 minutes listening about the story of the birth of some guy nobody knows actually existed.

Just like just because I don't want to play with the Barbie dreamhouse for 5 hours for the fifth day in a row doesn't mean I don't play with them. Sometimes Mum wants to sit down with a cup of tea and watch Corrie while the kids enjoy themselves. I wouldn't force them to do something they don't want to do- sometimes i'm selfish and won't let them force me to do something I don't want to do.

It's hard work for me, so don't be so quick to judge- eh?

If I were incharged of MNHQ. I'd ban those daft biscuits. They're clique and exclusive and it's almost like saying to posters. "You're not welcome here".What you have to say is of no importance. It's really not nice. Yet there are deletions and reports if any one says anything bad, yet those biscuits encourage things. IMO.

I get that the biscuits mean "boo", but why?

Your taking the biscuit

Oh I thought they meant. Shut up and go away.

Ilivein so did I

Or stick this biscuit in your gob, to stop your verbal diarrhoea...

Thank you for the official version Daily

I thought the biscuits were flowers

I think it could be your tone at a guess.

There are literally millions of MNers. Most posts will have 10, 20, maybe 100 posters. The chances of getting exactly the same cross-section of opinions on two similar threads must be pretty remote.

Love this thread and I'm addicted to MN and spent faaaaaaaar too long on it but I have the time as I'm old and retired! Thing is just lately whole threads have been deleted by MNHQ with a comment like "We've taken the thread down as we think the OP may be a troll, or "we've done some research on the OP and there are several things that seem contradictory" or something like that. And they're threads I've been on and hadn't the faintest suspicion that there was anything amiss. Since then I've found myself doubting whether particular threads are genuine. One of the ones deleted was a complex matter that generated a lot of replies and I'd spent a long time on it, and simply couldn't understand how anyone could make up a story and for what purpose?

Am I gullible? NO I'm not - I'm a stroppy old woman!

Slightly off topic, but its the same with people in real life who dont have children but like to offer advice in quite a brusque manner. My son is about to finish his exams, just turned 16. Friend asked what his summer plans were. I said not sure yet, maybe get him to spruce things up a bit at home, do all the cooking and cleaning etc (hehe).

She looked quite horrified and told me in quiet a lecturing way that he should be getting a part time job in a supermarket or the likes, as that's what she did ( and so on and so on).

Oh yes,everyone is a parenting expert, until they have their own.

well I posted a genuine situation/problem, (admittedly a teen one that people dont like much cos it scares them about the future), and the first response was a fucking BISCUIT.

With no explanation or comment.

then someone all mealy mouthed going 'eww yew are not coming over very well' , not explaining why, and then refusing any further communication.

I can see them in my minds eye, simultaneously purse lipped and smug.

It's because Mumsnet isn't one person.

It's lots of different people with different views.

It's like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get

true you might get the sweet and lovely ones or the weird and nutty ones.