Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

MN is a weird place

144 replies

fatmomma99 · 13/06/2016 00:29

I've commented on threads and had Biscuit Biscuit Biscuit to then find a few weeks or months later a thread on a similar theme with every poster agreeing with what I'd said on the original thread (where were you all when I got my biscuits???)

It's not a criticism, but I'm stunned by how many posters on here are not parents. AND COMPLAIN about the parent bias. Posts like "this is discriminating against people who haven't had children". Dur, it's a parenting website. Again, everyone is welcome, and I have no issues with people who aren't parents. But to me it's like 'if you want to play in the playground with the big kids, don't complain about the big kids'. I'm not saying anyone who is a parent is bigger or better than anyone on here who doesn't have children, but this is a website set up for PARENTS AND CARERS (and there was this amazing thread once by this woman who was at university and having a hard time with her flatmate and she said she was on here because her mum was a MN-er). I honestly don't care if your on here and a mum/not a mum, black/white/any colour, male/female/any gender, uk/anywhere else. I LOVE that what the internet gives us is a blurring of all of those and to me, everyone is welcome and appreciated for what they bring to the table. But I honestly don't understand someone posting on this site saying "I'm not a mum and I don't use the internet, how dare you discriminate against me!"

And some threads are very, very odd. Had a glorious weekend. Was intending to sort garden, but it's been raining so been on MN for 2 solid days. Sometimes threads go very, very odd.

And yet, I love it. I put up a post yesterday, had some fab advice and it sorted my problem - job done. Thank you MN

And it makes me laugh.

And cry.

And then laugh again. And then cry again.

And it's ALL so far away from RL.

It's an odd place.

But I feel at home here. Maybe that makes me odd!

OP posts:
ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 13/06/2016 10:45

*Gordon Brown I mean.

ThisPanCan · 13/06/2016 10:47

You're right - it was a GB thing from 2010.

Oysterbabe · 13/06/2016 10:58

There is a lot of competitive not giving a shit on MN. In pregnancy someone posted about getting the nursery decorated and the replies went something like:

There's no hurry, the baby will be with you for a while, we didn't finish it until after the baby was born.

Our baby was 1 before we finished the nursery

We didn't bother decorating, they're not small for long.

We just bought a cot and stuck it in the corner or the spare room.

Our baby slept in a cardboard box in the garage for the first year.

We got our cardboard box from a homeless man, we just rinsed the scabies off and it was fine.

WhatHo · 13/06/2016 10:59

I sometimes think people come on AIBU when they've had a bad day and want to take it out on someone - much safer to berate a random poster than someone you know in RL - so it has to be expected really.

I think one of the great strengths of MN is that the area sets the tone: If you post in AIBU, you gotta expect to get disagreed with. If you want things light and fluffy, go to Chat.

I've only posted in AIBU once in my 7 year history of MN use, a few weeks back, because I wanted a high volume of replies quickly, and I steeled myself for abuse. I got a bit of a ticking off (asking for it really, using the phrase 'stupid female mindgames', but I was upset) but in general people were incredibly helpful, and I remembered again why I loved MN. Even the 'you're a dick' responses were helpful, TBH.

And I have also failed to get a single biscuit...

MrsJayy · 13/06/2016 11:02

oysterbabe Grin

MiffleTheIntrovert · 13/06/2016 11:09

I think the biscuit is a symbol for [yeah, whatever, yawn]

Oh pag I totally agree, as an adult I really mourn the days when you could slag off disabled people, especially disabled children because then you're slagging off their parents too which is bonus points

In reality, there is very little you can't say on MN. You can say wankbadger and knobpuffin and all sorts. It's great Grin. If you are deleted by MNHQ you have either made a personal attack on someone else, or said something racist, homophobic or disablist. Or possibly MNHQ know that you are a PBP, troll or goady fucker. MNHQ are generally very reasonable so if you are being deleted (especially more than once) you're the problem and this isn't the forum for you.

It amazes me when people post and moan about MN. There are literally thousands of forums out there - find one you like rather than moaning and making sweeping generalisations about MNers who are after all, individuals with their own opinions.

hooliodancer · 13/06/2016 11:11

It has happened here. Some people disagree with others but just decide to insult them. Why be openly insulting? Why not just explain your view?

The stupid " HTH" is just smug and rude, not clever. Why tell the OP they are unstable? That's just insulting and nasty.

Kitsa · 13/06/2016 11:15

The biscuit means takes the biscuit surely?

YetAnotherHelenMumsnet · 13/06/2016 11:26

Hi all,
we've made some deletions as we've had quite a few reports about this thread. Please, no disablist posting, and also for future reference the words 'you seem like' does not render the remaining personal attack suddenly invisible to everyone but the OP.

Queenbean · 13/06/2016 11:30

Hi Helen MNHQ

I thought the rule was "you are stupid" = personal attack. But "your comments are stupid" = not a personal attack?

YetAnotherHelenMumsnet · 13/06/2016 11:31

Yes. And 'you seem stupid' is a PA.

MariaSklodowska · 13/06/2016 11:35

I still want to know why I got a biscuit as a first response when I posted about my son stealing my car (and my landlady's car, and another car).

Is it another way of saying 'you must be a shit parent'.?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 13/06/2016 11:49

because people are rude?

MrsJayy · 13/06/2016 11:58

They probably thought you were a troll if your post seemed unlikely to have happened you werd given a biscuit as if to say YEAH RIGHT

MariaSklodowska · 13/06/2016 12:00

Maybe it did seem a bit far fetched , yes.

Queenbean · 13/06/2016 12:01

.... But, my comment was "if you're crying and laughing and crying at a website you're overinvested. Some people may want children and can't have them but still use the site which makes your comments dickish"

And I was deleted!

MrsJayy · 13/06/2016 12:01

Noreason for a biscuit though its so rude

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 13/06/2016 12:06

Queenbean you used the word dickish, maybe that is offensive to anyone with a penis? So you were being dickist Grin I agree it's never good to be overly invested.

Queenbean · 13/06/2016 12:11

Lost I think you're being anti-penisist to suggest that Grin

Lweji · 13/06/2016 12:12

What about the biscuitists?
Will nobody think of the bizcuits?

RhodaBull · 13/06/2016 12:14

MrsJayy - I agree that a "yeah right" biscuit is more acceptable, although I suppose it's still best to click off a thread if you read the OP and think they're a silly time waster.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 13/06/2016 12:24

Jammie Dodger should sue for negative representation of their brand by Mumsnet.

SalemSaberhagen · 13/06/2016 21:45

I see OP didn't come back. Funny that, as is very vocal on other threads.

PurpleDaisies · 13/06/2016 21:47

I guess this thread didn't go the way she hoped...

SalemSaberhagen · 13/06/2016 21:47

And a Biscuit for your insinuation that your DD is more precious due to the length of time it took to conceive her. The rudeness is staggering.