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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dh, stag do, not even bothered to call.

144 replies

Kimononono · 02/06/2016 00:30

I may BU.

Dh has gone on a stag do abroad. A proper take the piss one for six days. It's not even a bloody weekend.

I'm not bothered as its one in the bank for me when I've had this baby (5 months pregnant). He went this morning, had a text saying ' love you' as he got to the airport and nothing since!

Not even 'oh the hotel is nice' or ' just going out I'll call in morning' or called to wish dd2 good night. Or even me!

Is he being an ignorant arse or am I being moody cow?

OP posts:
RegentsParkWolf · 02/06/2016 00:33

Does he normally text when he's away (if he goes away). I go away with three friends often, one texts her DH constantly, one texts her children constantly and two of us never get our phones out. Also, drunk men frequently loose their phones!

BackforGood · 02/06/2016 00:34

Neither really.
I wouldn't expect my dh to 'check in'.
If you feel you need that, then you could have asked before he left, or, could you call or text him ?

Original poster
Kimononono · 02/06/2016 00:35

First time he has been in a stag do in years. Normally texts, Skype when away on buisness. Doesn't really text on a night out unless it's to say he is on his way home (which pisses me off as it wakes me)

If I was out the country though I'd at least make the effort .

OP posts:
Baconyum · 02/06/2016 00:37

Is it likely to cost him a fortune? Poor signal?

Think you are being a bit unreasonable

Original poster
Kimononono · 02/06/2016 00:39

It's not a 'need' for him to check in - it's just that's what I would have done.

I would have wanted to say I'd got there safely, the hotel was nice/shit and ask after dd at least.

Meh maybe he is having a top time and I'm stuck here with chronic heartburn Envy

OP posts:
PaulAnkaTheDog · 02/06/2016 00:40

Oh jeez. I saw six days and thought it had been that Kong and he hadn't contacted you. He left today?! Yabu!

Original poster
Kimononono · 02/06/2016 00:41

.Think you are being a bit unreasonable

Maybe and a smidge of jelousy

OP posts:
Original poster
Kimononono · 02/06/2016 00:42

paul Grin

We havnt even discussed the hotel! Ffs!

OP posts:
Peppermintea · 02/06/2016 00:42

I don't think YABU but I would give it until tomorrow lunchtime before you get annoyed, he's probably caught up in the excitement of arriving there.

Peppermintea · 02/06/2016 00:43

I don't think YABU but I would give it until tomorrow lunchtime before you get annoyed, he's probably caught up in the excitement of arriving there.

Somerville · 02/06/2016 00:43

Maybe they have one of those immature hilarious no-phoning-your-missus rules that seem to be all the rage lately.
My boyfriend recently had to pay the bar tab as penalty for staying in touch with me on a stag do. Yes, his friends are apparently real adult males with jobs and wives and kids and all that. sense of humour failure

Sprink · 02/06/2016 00:53

Which airport, the departure or arrival? I'd want an "I've landed" text andquite franklya good night text or very short chat. If for non other reason than I know he's alive.

I don't care what my husband is doing, he can spare three minutes to call and say good night to me (the love of his life) and to his children (his world).

But the 'love you' was nice.

Original poster
Kimononono · 02/06/2016 00:53

somer what a bunch of dicks.

Tbh though, when I'm not pregnant he is one boring MF but as soon as I'm expecting that guy knows how to party. I'm logging it all down on my little pad.Wink

OP posts:
Pinkheart5915 · 02/06/2016 00:54

As his on his stag do wouldn't really worry or bother me that I hadn't heard much from him.
He's probably out drinking and will text tomorrow when he wakes up with a massive hangover
Or it could be the friends have taken his phone and have a no contact partners rule silly men

Original poster
Kimononono · 02/06/2016 00:54

Departure sprink and I agree with your whole post!

OP posts:
nonladyofleisure · 02/06/2016 00:57

They've probably been drinking the second they landed his phones probably dead I'd expect a call by the morning. I think if you weren't pregnant you'd be less pissed off.

When I was pregnant this thing used to annoy massively X now I realised I was being hormonal X

DelphiniumBlue · 02/06/2016 00:58

Maybe his phone isn't working? I've just got back from an EU country, and turned out my phone was locked outside UK, despite me having arranged everything with provider.
But otherwise, it would be nice for him to call to confirm he's arrived. Wouldn't expect much contact after that, though.

APlaceOnTheCouch · 02/06/2016 01:08

I'd expect a 'got to the hotel' or 'we've landed' text but not much more than that tbh. It's their first night,they will be out exploring getting drunk

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 02/06/2016 01:31

I'd be a bit miffed too, pregnant or not!

If I found out they'd taken his phone & there was a 'no contacting home' >rule< I'd be majorly fucked off. Yes, go away, let your hair down, get royally pissed, whatever...but you are still a husband & father and in an emergency that comes first. If anything happened to one of the kids (or his wife) and he wasn't contactable because of this stupidity it would be not be too harsh to consider it a deal breaker IMO.

AvaCrowder · 02/06/2016 01:39

I wouldn't out of pride want to contact him. Could you get together with your friends and have some fun, or your mum or just your dd? Theatre I'd suggest.

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/06/2016 01:45

6 day stags now? Is it going to end up with people proposing and them living in Las Vegas for the rest of their life with their male friends? It's headed that way.

Iknownuffink · 02/06/2016 01:49

Yawn!

Juanbablo · 02/06/2016 07:56

I don't expect dh to call or text when away with friends. He went on a stag weekend last week and he text twice. I was busy with the dcs so I didn't have time to care.

lellio · 02/06/2016 08:07

I don't expect a call or a text - although I usually get one every few days when dp is away on business but it's always after dinner when he's alone. When I'm away I might call/text once or twice - once to say I've arrived then half way through to catch up.

He's away with mates, having a good time, I think YABU to expect the nice hotel, nice food etc. texts.

MyBreadIsEggy · 02/06/2016 08:12

First of all, a six day stag do is madness Shock I don't think YABU expecting a text just to let your know he's got there in one piece, but I think YABU to expect him to check in all the time he's there - plus it's probably costing him a small fortune to call/text.
When my DH is abroad, I like a phonecall (texting not possible, no mobile phones allowed usually) just to let me know he has arrived safely. Sometimes that can be the day he arrives, on a few occasions he's not had access to a phone for a few weeks after he's arrived - which does worry me, but it's a different kind of worry than me wondering what he's getting up to on a stag weekend six day holiday.