to cut my ex wife's hedge without asking

[EyepatchOfTravis]

My ex wife still lives in the house we used to own together. She rents it now and lives there with our DD. DD stays with me a couple of nights a week.

The house is always a tip, though she hasn't let me in the house for a couple of years now because she didn't like me commenting about it.

The front garden is overgrown and I was sick of the hedges making my coat wet when I walked down her front path, so last night when I came to pick up DD, I brought my shears and cut the hedge right back along the pathway. She opened the door and was really annoyed when she saw I had done it and said it wasn't my place as it's not my home anymore and I hadn't asked her first.

It needed doing anyway, and she let me fix her front gate a few months ago when it was broken.

AIBU?

I think she's being a bit daft to moan about it, I can see you are o Lu trying to help but she might think you are interfering or making out she can't do it herself.

YABVU - like she said it's not your home anymore and I'm not really sure why you felt like you had the right to do it.

YABU. You should have offered to do it if you wanted to help. It probably felt like you were imposing your will on her and it's not your place to do so. I'm sure you meant well, but it's not on.

Could you be the bigger person and offer without criticising?

And she maybe knew they were annoying you and left them on purpose

I banned my ex from coming in my home for this reason ( before the non mol that I eventually had to get ).

It doesn't matter if it was a nice gesture - it's her home and it's her decision if she wants the hedges trimmed. I'd wager a bet if you'd just asked first there wouldn't be a problem. It's the acting like it's still your home that will have annoyed her.

YABU. Would you cut anybody's else's hedge without asking? I don't think you would, would you? I'm not surprised she doesn't let you in the house anymore

I thought that was going to be a euphemism.

You have no right to do it, despite your best intentions. She's an ex for a reason, get a grip & let it go

Yabu

You're welcome to come cut my hedge (actual garden shrubbery) anytime you like!

I don't think yabu, if she is unable to keep the house in a fit state for your dd i think pride gets in the way and she wouldn't ask for your help.

Atleast you're concerned about their surroundings

YWBU, but not as unreasonable as I thought when I read the title and thought you had pruned her lady garden without her consent!

It's the principle though isn't it. And the judging. I guess you will be vetting her BF next.

You seriously overstepped the mark.
Apologise and assure her that you won't invade her personal space again. And mean it.

She rents the house now. We split up 3 years ago. We don't really get on but are civil for DDs sake.

Then you had no right to do it.

Well if you want to stay civil you need to respect her personal space, just as you would a friend or neighbour.

Do you own the house OP?

Why are you commenting on her housekeeping?

Either it's a shit tip and unsafe for your daughter, in which case call SS or she's just messier than you, in which case MYOB.

YABU about the hedge.

I don't own the house. Someone else bought it.

Absolutely nothing to do with you at all. I'd be livid at the invasion if I was your ex. How creepily controlling of you.

Oh and if the house is oh so bad then I'm assuming you're after full residency of your daughter? Or is it actually that you're just slagging off your ex for not having the same standards as you.