to cut my ex wife's hedge without asking

[EyepatchOfTravis]

My ex wife still lives in the house we used to own together. She rents it now and lives there with our DD. DD stays with me a couple of nights a week.

The house is always a tip, though she hasn't let me in the house for a couple of years now because she didn't like me commenting about it.

The front garden is overgrown and I was sick of the hedges making my coat wet when I walked down her front path, so last night when I came to pick up DD, I brought my shears and cut the hedge right back along the pathway. She opened the door and was really annoyed when she saw I had done it and said it wasn't my place as it's not my home anymore and I hadn't asked her first.

It needed doing anyway, and she let me fix her front gate a few months ago when it was broken.

AIBU?

Crap, it's a reverse.

And I say that as someone with a DF who is not talkative, blunt and can seem surly. But he has a heart of gold, and even after my parents divorced he did many, many jobs for my mother to help her out, yes some of them unasked for. He was intuitive, especially when cars were involved and would take a look and fix things if he saw something needed doing.

Op, he's a tosser and he's trying to get at you.

I too have an abusive ex and the best thing I've found is to laugh about him, takes away his power.

Once a year? For a hedge!

I have tried repeatedly over the years to attempt to reconcile our differnces esp for dd's sake but all Eye wants to do is equate everything to sex. She sees me trimming her bush as a 'statement' as she believes that is her domain where she makes no effort. So recently she has a stranger doing it ( And I use that phrase advisedly) once a year.
So when I visit I get showered with a natural juice called rain water but I know is analogous to something else. I'm embarassed even typing this.

If Eye is okay with a 'once a year ' arrangement then I can go with that. I love her and will promise to put my shears away. I will though keep my hose as a stand by for use when there is a drought...

You are very definitely not my ex Pan - he was never generous with his hose...

Ha!

Seriously best wishes with it.

You, on the other hand, sound quite the catch...

Ta

it's been said.

Sounds like my ex... When he's here to pick up the DC he does things like water the plants or starts loading the dishwasher. For reasons I can't quite fathom it irritates the hell out of me... Maybe because when we were together his criticisms of my housekeeping when I'd been at home with two toddlers all day were one of the reasons we split up... And now, being able to leave my dishes on the side without worrying about an argument feels like bliss!

He looked after DD in my house for a day once when she was off school sick, I came home and he'd reorganised the cupboards That one just made me laugh though.

Your ex is a dick, OP. Sorry about that!

Wow - reorganising the cupboards - that's proper passive-aggressive! You are right. Laughing at this nonsense is the best way to handle it probably.

I haven't allowed exH in the house since he sent me a ranty email a couple of years ago including the immortal line "you can afford wine, but you can't afford light bulbs" (because there was an empty wine bottle on the side when he last came round and it took me a couple of days to replace a light bulb in the hall).

It is funny really.

Sorry again for the whole reverse thing folks, but thank you, your responses have really helped me and I appreciate it

"you can afford wine, but you can't afford light bulbs"

Ace set of priorities!

Eye I'm not surprised you were upset, like I said it's not the cutting the hedge but the principle. It's not his place to decide how you live, such an invasion of personal space and very controlling. Hope you are able to get him to stick to some boundaries. Just hold onto the fact that one day when your DD is an adult you will be totally free of it.

PS IMO Wine is far more use than light bulbs

I have nothing to do with this thread, but it's hilarious.
Btw my house is not a tip, but the hedge certainly needs cutting.

Shall I send me ex round then Karen?

Lightbulbs are not entirely necessary - you know your way around your own house; anyway, candle light shows up so much less dust.

Wine, on the other hand .......

Lightbulbs make your house dirty. True fact.

I once replaced the lightbulb in the hall. Before I replaced it the hall was lovely and clean, afterwards, the floor was covered in cat hair and the skirting boards needed dusting. I turned the light off and it was clean again

Wine doesn't make your house dirty.