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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to cut my ex wife's hedge without asking

146 replies

EyepatchOfTravis · 25/05/2016 19:23

My ex wife still lives in the house we used to own together. She rents it now and lives there with our DD. DD stays with me a couple of nights a week.

The house is always a tip, though she hasn't let me in the house for a couple of years now because she didn't like me commenting about it.

The front garden is overgrown and I was sick of the hedges making my coat wet when I walked down her front path, so last night when I came to pick up DD, I brought my shears and cut the hedge right back along the pathway. She opened the door and was really annoyed when she saw I had done it and said it wasn't my place as it's not my home anymore and I hadn't asked her first.

It needed doing anyway, and she let me fix her front gate a few months ago when it was broken.

AIBU?

OP posts:
TheUnsullied · 25/05/2016 20:06

Do you do this to the hedges at other houses that are overgrown enough to annoy you too? Hmm Thought not.

You thought this was OK because you feel you still have a say in her home for some reason. But you don't own the place, you don't live there and an overgrown hedge is doing your DC no harm. The assumption I'd make is that you feel as though you have a right to say how she should be living and also feel entitled to criticise if she doesn't meet the standards you set for her.

Back the fuck off.

ChihuahuaChick · 25/05/2016 20:08

Your post sounds control freaky as fuck. If the state of the house is bad enough to be affecting your DD's quality of life, call SS and go for full custody. Otherwise, learn to mind your own business.

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 25/05/2016 20:08

Some people like a full bush, gives the garden a more natural feel Grin...

I'll stop now.

frumplstilskin · 25/05/2016 20:09

The house is always a tip, though she hasn't let me in the house for a couple of years now because she didn't like me commenting about it.

Is this for real? Confused

wallybantersjunkbox · 25/05/2016 20:09

I hope Karen finishes the job now you've started it...

to cut my ex wife's hedge without asking
frumplstilskin · 25/05/2016 20:10

Would you cut a neighbour's garden down too if you didn't like?

PalmerViolet · 25/05/2016 20:11

Were you this much of an aggressive controlling arse when you were married to this poor woman?

If so, she dodged a right bullet by getting rid of you.

Although "making my coat wet" might be enough justification to you to be a champion douche, it really isn't for anyone else.

Leave your ExW's topiary alone

HTH

acasualobserver · 25/05/2016 20:12

Did you pick up/sweep up the clippings and dispose of them? If you didn't you were VU.

EverySongbirdSays · 25/05/2016 20:13

Placemarking in case we find out who Karen is, and if Karen IS the wife, whether she appears to give her side.

TrixieBlue2016 · 25/05/2016 20:14

Why did you cut it? Was it going to injure your DD? Had you mentioned it was a danger? If so YWNU. If not YABU. you should have offered to help, not help yourself. Do you judge how she lives? Is your DD clean and well cared for?

Egosumquisum · 25/05/2016 20:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DaisyAdair · 25/05/2016 20:19

If going in the front entrance is too wet, could you not go in the back way?

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 25/05/2016 20:21

She'll definitely notice him sneaking in the back way. He'll end up on the hedge offenders register.

DuckAndPancakes · 25/05/2016 20:22

Oh

My ex is a tree surgeon and I'd be well chuffed if he came and chopped the unruly bastard trees.

WellErrr · 25/05/2016 20:23

YABVU and you sound like a right arse. It's not your house and it's not your hedge, bog off.

DuckAndPancakes · 25/05/2016 20:24

I really don't understand how anyone can be upset about a hedge. I'm sure I'm missing the point.

In laughing at the innuendos, though. Also the idea of someone coming to pick their DD up with garden shears... It's quite amusing really.

Kenduskeag · 25/05/2016 20:25

Chopping into someone's hedges without consent is criminal damage. Her landlord could have you done for damages.

In what other ways do you like being a dickhead ex-husband cliché? Do you tell everyone you meet she's 'a mad bitch' too?

OnYerBikePan · 25/05/2016 20:28

Nope, you were absolutely right. She is clearly a slovenly bitch and needs demonstrating basic civilities to her.
Check out any other areas where she needs to pay attention to, is my advice.

BadDoGooder · 25/05/2016 20:28
OnYerBikePan · 25/05/2016 20:33

Well, being sprayed with rain water from uncut privet is a major social issue.

Issue an ASBO to her via Magistrates Court and you will have unimpeded access in future. And your dd will be much relieved. Which is sort of the main issue re NRP matters.

hth

1horatio · 25/05/2016 20:34

She does have a point... But you own the house together, so you also have a point.

I understand her being annoyed, but there's no need to make a stink about it (imo).

Kenduskeag · 25/05/2016 20:35

He doesn't own the house. She rents it from a landlord. Nothing to do with him at all.

Applejack29 · 25/05/2016 20:35

YABU, I would guess that your ex is less annoyed about the hedge and more annoyed about the fact that you stepped over boundaries and in such a judgey way. I would be seriously angry if my ex took it upon himself to alter anything about my house.

I'll bet you've never even dreamed about cutting anyone else's hedge without asking first, have you?

MrsSpecter · 25/05/2016 20:35

No horatio he doesnt own any of the house.

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 25/05/2016 20:35

BadDoGooder You can't ask me that - you're not my supervisor! WinkGrin

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