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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to cut my ex wife's hedge without asking

146 replies

EyepatchOfTravis · 25/05/2016 19:23

My ex wife still lives in the house we used to own together. She rents it now and lives there with our DD. DD stays with me a couple of nights a week.

The house is always a tip, though she hasn't let me in the house for a couple of years now because she didn't like me commenting about it.

The front garden is overgrown and I was sick of the hedges making my coat wet when I walked down her front path, so last night when I came to pick up DD, I brought my shears and cut the hedge right back along the pathway. She opened the door and was really annoyed when she saw I had done it and said it wasn't my place as it's not my home anymore and I hadn't asked her first.

It needed doing anyway, and she let me fix her front gate a few months ago when it was broken.

AIBU?

OP posts:
CuteHoor · 25/05/2016 19:52

So, it's completely irrelevant that it's your former family home, because you jointly sold up, someone else bought it, and now rents it to your ex-wife???

The way you describe it suggests you still have some right to judge her gardening/housekeeping standards. Maybe she doesn't let you in the house because you're a judgemental git who goes around running his finger over worksurfaces like Whatsit and Aggie?

Do you live alone now? How clean is your house? How well-trimmed are your hedges? Do you enjoy your ex-wife commenting on the cleanliness of your house and the dandelions in your lawn?

Honestly.

NorksAreMessy · 25/05/2016 19:52

Bloody hell. If you are Karen's husband, get the FUCK off MN!

bakeoffcake · 25/05/2016 19:54

Who's Karen?

Anyway, No you should leave her hedge alone. It's none of you're business!

SlapACatFuckADuck · 25/05/2016 19:54

livid at someone cutting your hedge?! It's not like he's folded all her pants. It's a bush... Yeah you maybe should of asked if she minded and explained why but I can't imagine anyone being livid at you trimming their over grown garden

SlapACatFuckADuck · 25/05/2016 19:54

livid at someone cutting your hedge?! It's not like he's folded all her pants. It's a bush... Yeah you maybe should of asked if she minded and explained why but I can't imagine anyone being livid at you trimming their over grown garden

Original poster
EyepatchOfTravis · 25/05/2016 19:55

I probably shouldn't have done it. She'll probably ban me from walking up her front path now.

OP posts:
Egosumquisum · 25/05/2016 19:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HappyNevertheless · 25/05/2016 19:56

Sorry but I agree with PP.
It's not your house and if you don't like the fact you are getting wet, though.

If yoou were as controlling now when you were married, I'm not surprised she wanted out!

PaulDacresMicroPenis · 25/05/2016 19:57

Is this a bet to seem how much innuendo you can 'slip in'*

  • it's not hard is it?
Trills · 25/05/2016 19:58

YABU.

It's not yours to cut.

She probably doesn't care about the hedge itself, but about the possessiveness of the behaviour.

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 25/05/2016 19:59

It's not his house! She could have erected a ten foot statue of a cock and it still wouldn't be his place to comment, let alone do anything about it. Her bush, her business.

OhMyGoddess · 25/05/2016 19:59

Yes, livid. It's not his hedge. It belongs to someone else so his judging and interfering is way out of line.

chewingawasp · 25/05/2016 20:00

Are you Conifer Bob?

PaulDacresMicroPenis · 25/05/2016 20:00

Are you Conifer Bob?

Grin
CupidsArrows · 25/05/2016 20:01

"Her bush, her business" is it childish I snorted at that?

Who's Karen?

MistressMerryWeather · 25/05/2016 20:01

What a fabulous post BabySeamus.

There are so many images running through my head right now.

MistressMerryWeather · 25/05/2016 20:02

Yes, fess up Norks.

Who is this Karen, has someone also been messing with her bush?

SantinoRice · 25/05/2016 20:02

Of course YABU.

You wouldn't do that to an acquaintance's house, would you? And you'd be pissed off if someone took shears to your garden without asking. You think it's ok to do it to hers because you used to live there? Well fuck, do excuse me, I have to go manicure the lawns of all my former residences Hmm

Back off. It's her garden. It's got nothing to do with you. I'm not surprised she won't let you in the house, you sound like you can't let go. And you knew she wouldn't like it, otherwise you'd have asked before you'd done it.

John4703 · 25/05/2016 20:02

What a prat. If I cut my ex's hedge she would probably cut bits off me. OP you have no right to dictate how long her hedge is or how tidy her house is..

bakeoffcake · 25/05/2016 20:02

Eyepatch apologise to her and say you won't do it again.

She might forgive you.

MrsSpecter · 25/05/2016 20:03

Yeah you crossed a line. Its not your business, not your property and yes she can, if she likes, ban you from walking up the path. I wouldnt blame her as you seem to have an issue with respecting boundaries.

bakeoffcake · 25/05/2016 20:03

I'm worried about Karen's bush nowSad

Ambroxide · 25/05/2016 20:05

Who is Karen? MN needs to know...

And yes, OP, YABVU. It's her house, rented or otherwise. If the landlord has an issue with her bush, he can take it up in person.

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 25/05/2016 20:05

Well I'd ban you from venturing up my garden path again, that's for sure.

SantinoRice · 25/05/2016 20:06

Rofl at 'he can take it up in person' Grin

Does he need to give 24hrs notice for that?