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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Babies in travel systems

430 replies

Excusemeforpostinghere · 11/05/2016 08:03

Am I bu that I just get the rage when I see babies in carseats clunked to the pram?

Am I being a judgypants?

Fair enough on the nip in & out jobs like school run.

But supermarket? Theme park? National trust gardens? Running? Town? Zoo? Places were the child is likely going to have been in that carseat for a few hours!

They've already been in it for the car journey. I bet likely, some will only be out of them all day for feeding time.

I watched holiday supersavers last night and the baby did the walk to supermarket, around supermarket and walk nack home again in the flippin carseat!

I just want to go up to them and tell them to stop being lazy and think of their child's spine development.

OP posts:
KatyN · 11/05/2016 08:05

I hate them. We didnMt get one because I couldnMt fit one in my car but I just think they look like shopping basket.

That said I suspect you might get a flaming!!
Kx

UmbongoUnchained · 11/05/2016 08:05

Yes you're being judgy

waitingforsomething · 11/05/2016 08:07

Yanbu. My second child was only calm in his car seat attachment till 4 months. Anything else- especially the carry cot- caused endless screaming. Id rather be judged for him being in a car seat than judged for him screaming for hours round the zoo which is equally likely

waitingforsomething · 11/05/2016 08:08

That was meant to be yabu!!

waitingforsomething · 11/05/2016 08:09

Also if you had walked up to me and told me to 'stop being lazy' there would have been a large fallout. I would then have transferred my ds to the carrycot and handed him to you for a couple of hours and seen how lazy you thought I was after that experience

NeedACleverNN · 11/05/2016 08:11

I see it a lot but I don't think everyone is aware of the 30 minute rule really.

Travel systems ought to make it clearer

MyBreadIsEggy · 11/05/2016 08:11

You are being a bit judgy....
My DD suffered with terrible reflux until she was weaned, and would scream and scream if she was put in the pram, but the slightly more upright position of the car seat helped with her symptoms! I would rather have switched her between a sling and the car seat on the pram than have her in pain laying in a carrycot all day.

NerrSnerr · 11/05/2016 08:12

I do tend to agree. There are lots of good reasons why people use the car seat attachment (popping to the shops etc) but I know a lot of people who didn't bother with the pram bit because their 2 month old wants to look around and stuff. I wasn't a huge fan of the sling but used the sling if I couldn't fit the pram part in the car (when on a weekend away or something)

FutureGadgetsLab · 11/05/2016 08:12

I don't like them and didn't use one, but you don't know if that's the only way the baby will settle. I had a baby that wouldn't sleep on his back which I expect some people would judge?

They're all different so I think you're being a bit unreasonable.

Shakirasma · 11/05/2016 08:12

When my kids were little travel systems were used by everyone. Whilst the risks are known these days, I have to say I've not noticed an entire generation of adolescents with curved spines. Certainly none of my 3 childens's many friends have any issues so I'm sure the odds are these babies will be fine and happy.

DeadGood · 11/05/2016 08:13

"They've already been in it for the car journey." Not necessarily. You even write later in your post that "the baby did the walk to supermarket, around supermarket and walk back home again". Isn't it obvious that some people use the car seat instead of buying a carry cot attachment because it's needed for so little time yet costs about £100? For me a walk to the supermarket, around and and back home again can be achieved in WAY less than the two hour recommended maximum.

The thought that there could have been people like you silently "getting the rage" about my child spending 40 minutes in a car seat once a week... Bit pathetic

aimeesj · 11/05/2016 08:15

Very judgy! I have a travel system. Sometimes my baby goes in the car seat. Sometimes she goes in the pram (lay flat). Most of the time I carry her in my sling/ergo. It depends on what we're doing, where we're going, how long I'm going to be etc. You are only seeing a snap shot in time. So yes yabu. Mums don't need this sort of judgement. We should be supporting each other.

31weeksgone · 11/05/2016 08:15

Do think you're being a bit unreasonable. I agree babies shouldn't be in them for a long time because the car seat can be dangerous for their airways, etc etc. So a few hours is pushing it a bit. However you don't know how long people have been. If I was planning on going to a shopping mall for 2+ hours say a whole day I'd put her in the pram obviously, however... I always put DD on pram in car seat for food shopping as takes 10 mins to drive there, click her onto pram, whiz round shop in 30 mins and get home in another 10. That's a maximum of 50 minutes, much less if I'm just popping in for milk or a big fat cake and it's much less stress for her instead Of getting comfy for 5 minutes, being taken out, getting comfy in pram being put back in car seat then etc so don't judge how long they've been in for just because of where you are.

31weeksgone · 11/05/2016 08:16

It's not a 30 minute rule? It's 2 hours?

Mumberjack · 11/05/2016 08:17

I do it a bit because my 3mo DD loves looking around and often can't settle in the carry cot - I'd put her in the buggy but it's still too big and I only noticed last week you can buy newborn inserts, but I'm not spending loads of cash on something that will only be useful for the next month or so.

That said, I don't like having her in the car seat for long stretches or long journeys so usually it's 30-60 mins a time at most. Being bf she feeds often so she'll remind me that she needs out.

NeedACleverNN · 11/05/2016 08:18

*It's not a 30 minute rule? It's 2 hours?
My mistake

Original poster
Excusemeforpostinghere · 11/05/2016 08:19

I actually don't care if I'm being judgy. I still don't like it and still see no need for it.

Even for a child who won't settle/has reflux.

Use a sling, buy a pram that can be used from birth and have the seat every so slightly reclined (like the out n about nipper, or bugaboo bee)

OP posts:
puglife15 · 11/05/2016 08:19

YABU

When I need to use the car and/or buggy and baby is asleep I do this. He won't sleep flat and will scream as he has reflux whereas in the car seat he seems to be OK. Why would I wake him if he's happily asleep? On the odd occasion I can't see it would do any harm.

You don't see the other 95% of the time we are out and about when he's in a sling or wrap or being held. I'd love to be able to lie him flat in a pram, put him on a play mat flat on the ground etc.

CodyKing · 11/05/2016 08:19

My second child was only calm in his car seat attachment till 4 months. Anything else- especially the carry cot- caused endless screaming.

This! Mom getting an hours peace from a non screaming baby is worth its weight in gold - now 13 and no spinal deformity!

DontBuyANewMumCuntingDailyMail · 11/05/2016 08:20

Yabvu to get 'the rage'.
I think you're being very judgey. Unless you've followed someone from their home and timed them around the NT property/supermarket etc you don't know how long the child has been in it!
I used one for mine and will again for any subsequent children.
I drive to see family members so definitely break the 30 min rule.
But I'm not lazy. Or a judgy interfering beak.

Crazypetlady · 11/05/2016 08:26

What gives me the rage is people saying 'use a sling' for everything. Its like the mn spa days. They dont cure evrything,

123lekl · 11/05/2016 08:26

You're being horribly judgey and in my opinion there's much worse things that you could put your judgey energy into than babies in travel systems.
Get a fucking life!

Remiggio · 11/05/2016 08:26

My supermarket trips with ds last about 15mins. I live over the road from the shop so if going on to somewhere after, yes I'll just put the car seat onto the pram. If we're out walking he's in the carrycot, just a quick nip over we use the sling - so it's all about the individual situation and you seeing us with the car seat might have been the first time in a fortnight/month we've had to use it.

Like a pp has said, the less judging mums get the better. If you'd come up to me to tell me I was lazy, you wouldn't BELIEVE the scene I would make.

waitingforsomething · 11/05/2016 08:26

'Even for a child that won't settle/has reflux'

How unpleasant. Have you had a child like this?

If you don't care then why come on Aibu and canvass opinions?

Keely93 · 11/05/2016 08:27

I agree with you! My daughter only wanted to settle in this but the screaming wasn't worth the risk to her development, she got used to the carrycot on the pram after a few times, it looks uncomfortable and squashed and my cousin was always in one and now has a slightly curvy spine and fairly stunted growth. I don't think you're being unreasonable!