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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Computer in the bedroom who ibu?

147 replies

Liberty75 · 27/04/2016 22:43

We are having a longstanding disagreement over using the laptop in bed. So I can't be accused of being bias I'll try not to say my view just now.

one of us feels whilst in bed if one person wants to sleep anything that might disturb them should either be stopped or taken out of the bedroom, this is a particular issue with the laptop which is bright and noisy.

The other works long hours and feels that they have the right to come to bed late evening and finish a few bits of work in the relaxing environment of the bedroom.

The one who wants to sleep thinks the other is selfish and feels working in the bedroom (whilst already working long hours) is intrusive.

The one who wants to use the laptop thinks since they work so hard they should be able to relax and wind down after a really long day and get something useful done at the same time.

Please help, who is being unreasonable?!

OP posts:
StickTheDMWhereTheSunDontShine · 27/04/2016 22:46

The one who wants to deprive the other of the opportunity to use a bed for sleeping in, undisturbed, is the one being unreasonable.

Finish your bloody work on the sofa or at the table.

Tiopyn · 27/04/2016 22:48

Whilst I can defimitely sympathise with the one working long hours, and they do have every right to unwind, that doesn't apply if it affects others' sleep!

I think the one who wants to keep the laptop on in the bedroom IBU.

madcapcat · 27/04/2016 22:49

Think pretty much all advice from sleep professionals etc is no computer screens in bedroom and no screen time for last hour before sleep (with exception being unlit kindles). Person wanting to use laptop in bed after partner trying to sleep is bu

plantsitter · 27/04/2016 22:50

Unwinding does not equal doing work in bed! Beds are for sleeping, reading and sex.

You will get rubbish sleep if you work on your laptop in bed.

Jumpingshipquick · 27/04/2016 22:52

Wasn't there a terrible story who died after his laptop set fire to the bed? Or was that just an Internet scare story?

Laptop user ibu.

SexLubeAndAFishSlice · 27/04/2016 22:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AlpacaLypse · 27/04/2016 22:55

The laptop user is BU. A well organised sofa downstairs should be entire suitable for late night flashy blinky stuff.

Jumpingshipquick · 27/04/2016 22:56

Ah! Just found that story on hoax slayer! So I've answered my own question.

ElderlyKoreanLady · 27/04/2016 22:56

The one wanting to use the laptop while in bed is unreasonable. Agree with PP...sleeping, reading and sex.

julfin · 27/04/2016 22:59

Neither of you are being unreasonable as such, but using a laptop in bed isn't particularly healthy, as it's disruptive for your sleep patterns (not just for the person who's trying to sleep at the time, but also for the person who's using it - the brain needs time to wind down before sleeping and "blue light" at bedtime damages sleep quality). Ideally the laptop user shouldn't be using the laptop/smartphone at all in the hour or two before bedtime, but if they have to (and of course we all do it), then out of consideration for the sleeper they should go and use it on the sofa or somewhere else (not in the bedroom).

I'll admit I'm not very good at following this advice myself (which is why I say no-one's being unreasonable), and I often use a laptop/smartphone late at night just before sleeping - but it is good advice nevertheless.

Sleeping, reading (not on a screen!) and sex is right.

ijustwannadance · 27/04/2016 23:00

Selfish laptop user should fuck off to living room.

Original poster
Liberty75 · 27/04/2016 23:00

Thank you for your replies. The 'laptop user' has no problem if the other uses their phone or kindle when the situation is reversed. They always ask if it is ok and if the laptop user says no they switch off immediately. Do you think this changes the situation?

OP posts:
Original poster
Liberty75 · 27/04/2016 23:01

Perhaps should say 'the sleeper' always asks first

OP posts:
EastMidsMummy · 27/04/2016 23:02

Biased, not bias.

Original poster
Liberty75 · 27/04/2016 23:03

Yes of course, should be biased!

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 27/04/2016 23:04

I am currently in bed, on the laptop and watching the TV, while DH is fast asleep next to me. But if it kept him awake I wouldn't.

Out2pasture · 27/04/2016 23:05

Both of you need to find a solution that works for you. You sound like mature adults that will cross this bridge successfully very soon.
Maybe two twin beds in the same room would provide additional distance and less laptop glare?? Keep looking at the options :)

slithytove · 27/04/2016 23:05

No. Laptop user is still bu. And doesn't a kindle avoid the blue light issue?

plantsitter · 27/04/2016 23:05

Well, if that really happened (asking if it's ok etc) with no unspoken resentment, there wouldn't actually be a problem would there...

If you can't agree, I'm afraid the laptop user is being U.

Sparklingbrook · 27/04/2016 23:06

Are we worrying over typos? Confused

Doobigetta · 27/04/2016 23:07

Doesn't change anything. Physical disturbance aside, work doesn't belong in the bedroom. My partner and I try not to even discuss work in the bedroom- it isn't healthy to allow it to follow you everywhere.

Spandexpants007 · 27/04/2016 23:07

Sleeper has priority as the bed is for sleeping.

plantsitter · 27/04/2016 23:11

So is it you with the laptop OP? Wink

BackforGood · 27/04/2016 23:13

Sleeper has priority if they can't sleep whilst the other is on any device.
After all, the bed is for sleeping in.

Personally I don't mind dh using his tablet, as the sound is off and I am pretty good at sleeping through anything Grin
But I wouldn't use my laptop as is noisier (tapping the keyboard) and sh isn't so good at sleeping through things as I am.

Fact ism There are other rooms in the house they can work in / use laptop, but only one place where you sleep. so no question.

DailyFaily · 27/04/2016 23:14

I often take my laptop to bed but always switch off/move downstairs when my DH comes to bed and wants to sleep. There are no other places for him to sleep, whereas there are plenty of other places where I can work.