Computer in the bedroom who ibu?

[Liberty75]

We are having a longstanding disagreement over using the laptop in bed. So I can't be accused of being bias I'll try not to say my view just now.

one of us feels whilst in bed if one person wants to sleep anything that might disturb them should either be stopped or taken out of the bedroom, this is a particular issue with the laptop which is bright and noisy.

The other works long hours and feels that they have the right to come to bed late evening and finish a few bits of work in the relaxing environment of the bedroom.

The one who wants to sleep thinks the other is selfish and feels working in the bedroom (whilst already working long hours) is intrusive.

The one who wants to use the laptop thinks since they work so hard they should be able to relax and wind down after a really long day and get something useful done at the same time.

Please help, who is being unreasonable?!

He is being a selfish idiot. If he wants to work on the laptop in bed, he is the one who should be in the spare room - not you.

I work long hours and am often working on my laptop late at night. DP usually goes to bed earlier than me and I'd never dream of working in the bedroom when he was in there. If he's asleep / trying to sleep when I go up then I creep into the room, get changed in the dark and try not to disturb him. If I'm knackered and have gone up for an early night and DP stays up late then he shows me the same courtesy.

There seem to be loads of places in your house where your DP can use his laptop. He needs to start showing a bit of respect and empathy for you.

Does he struggle to grasp your point of view on other issues OP?
Not understand why something would upset you, or get impatient if you're hungry when he's not, etc?
Or is this an isolated example?

I love the Fork Revenge!

He is being ridiculous when he objects to your dealing with the sleep deprivation he is trying to mete out in the very sensible way that you do. If he doesn't like you sleeping in the spare room, he knows what to do. Your choice to leave the room is as valid as his to use the computer in bed.

You are being reasonable by taking a peaceful solution; he is not making any attenpt to find a solution at all, just objecting to yours.

You are both objecting to the actions of the other, but he is not prepared to find a solution, whereas you already have found one. And are acting on it.

(If he's always like this in disagreements - refusing to change at all, and making such a fuss about your compromise - then one day you'll be walking out the door. Fair warning.)

So he wants you to do him the honour of staying in the bed, gnashing your teeth and unable to get to sleep while he indulges his anxiety about unfinished work.

Pfft to that. I like the fork idea.

Ask him before you try the fork why he doesn't think there is a problem. Ask him why you would make up something like that and what hidden interest or agenda you might have in going to the spare room, since it is apparently not enough that you can't sleep. In your bed. At night. After a day of dealing with small children. Because he is tapping on a keyboard.

Sleep trumps computing in the bedroom.

I have only read the OP's first posting and none of the thread. Laptops and TV's should not be in any bedrooms regardless of age of the user unless one criteria is met. That criteria being the person is totally bedbound and sleeps alone or discontinues use when partner comes to bed.

10/10 for the fork idea pocketsaviour.

Of course it's not one rule for him and another for you. You ask if it bothers him and listen to the answer, he does not.

Why does he think he is more important than you?

Beds are for sleeping and sometimes sex if my DH tried to bring his laptop and work to bed he'd be sleeping on the sofa

Take his pillows away. When he asks "well darling, I find it incredibly easy and confortable to fall asleep with no pillows so you should too".
See how he likes them apples.

I do wish the OPs of these sorts of threads would come back and tell us the ending.

Did OP have it out with her DH? Did she show him MN thread as proof of his unreasonableness? What did he say? Have things changed?

I hate half a story.

Seriously, Fugg? OP posted just before 11pm on Wed and it's now 11am Friday. And she's posted on the thread in the meantime.

Calm down Yonic. Just saying!

Here, have some and .

Thanks, I'm very calm... I'll still have the cake though

Lol ' your a keeper' 😂😂😂

Definately fork him 😂😂😂😂

Hi
Thanks for all the suggestions!!! I haven't broached the subject just now as he hasn't brought his computer to bed over the last few days. I don't want to cause an argument but next time he tries I'll show him the thread and I'll let you know how it went!

Maybe he will never do it again op (hopeful!) and then you'll be sorted!

I get ragey if anyone steals my sleep. We don't have a spare room so we have to be considerate of each other and if one of us wants to go to sleep and the other doesn't the one that doesn't will stay downstairs. Your DH is being unreasonable. If you can't sleep with the laptop on you can't sleep, it's not up to you to fix that!