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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be really bloody angry about this

185 replies

ingeniousidiot · 24/04/2016 12:18

My DS10 and 3 friends won a prize of a day trip to a local theme park travelling by coach. Three of the parents were happy (with mild concerns) to let the kids enjoy it as their first grown up day trip. One decided that she wanted her dh to trail the kids all day. AIBU to be pissed off that he is essentially changing the dynamics of the group and the presence of the DH standing in the queues behind them completely changes their day?

Adding a bit of background information - the prize gave the option of an open day ticket to allow the winners to go whenever with whoever, or to go on the organised, supervised coach trip. The DH didn't want to go, the other parents didn't want him to go. The DH has said that he will not be responsible for the other children.
AIBU in thinking that she should've chosen the open day ticket and made it a family trip another time, rather than our children being stalked for the day?

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 24/04/2016 12:21

I think 'stalked' is harsh. Confused

They will do their thing, he's already said he's not looking after them.

I'd be happy that there was someone they knew there. You sound a bit defensive as if you're justifying your decision to let him go on his own.

You've made your decision (and it's fine) - they've made theirs.

WorraLiberty · 24/04/2016 12:22

Who is supplying the prize and is there adequate care?

ihatethecold · 24/04/2016 12:23

Cant see the problem really.
10 is still quite young

ghostyslovesheep · 24/04/2016 12:23

lordy yes I think you are over reacting

pieceofpurplesky · 24/04/2016 12:24

10 is a bit young imho.

Having taken many kids on trips even Year 7s struggle on their own at times

witsender · 24/04/2016 12:24

I would prefer an adult there tbh. He isn't being unreasonable, you don't get to dictate what level of comfort he and his OH have with them going alone.

Arfarfanarf · 24/04/2016 12:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PPie10 · 24/04/2016 12:26

Oh calm down with the rage over this. 'Dynamics' Hmmthey are 10 fgs and perfectly acceptable to have supervision if a parent decides that's what they want.
You may think your 10yo is a big grown adult, but he's still a child and the other parent is just concerned.

twirlypoo · 24/04/2016 12:26

I would want someone there too at that age. Going off for an hour or too then meeting for lunch is a completely different ball game to just going off for the day. You are entitled to your decision, but to be pissed off by someone else's decision just makes you come across as defensive and controlling. Chill. Be glad it's not you that has to go!

Friolero · 24/04/2016 12:27

I think you're over-reacting tbh. I can't see what you're so angry about.

Original poster
ingeniousidiot · 24/04/2016 12:27

Worra - it's actually the local police - they'll have a central 'help' point and will be visibly walking around the park all day. We kind of went along with the 'if the police think it's safe' logic.

OP posts:
twirlypoo · 24/04/2016 12:28

Actually, I genuinely want to know - can you explain why you are "really bloody angry" about it? It doesn't seem a normal reaction and I think I am missing something. Im not being goady - I really am curious as to your reasons.

smokeybandit · 24/04/2016 12:29

At first I read that as your 10th ds and wondered how old they were! I wouldn't be comfortable with a group of 10 year old on a coach going to a theme park tbh, I would be glad there was an adult there "supervising". Even though he says he's not looking after the others he will prob make sure no harm comes to them unless he's an arse. I'd be glad of that personally.

WorraLiberty · 24/04/2016 12:30

Actually the more I think about a 'grown up' day trip for 10 year olds, to a theme park, the more I'd be happy for this bloke to go and keep an eye on them.

I know he said he's not looking after anyone else, but no doubt if one of them got off a ride in tears because they banged their head (not unusual on some rides), I'm sure he'd be on hand to help/calm them down.

They still only Primary school children after all.

WorraLiberty · 24/04/2016 12:30

*They're

thecatfromjapan · 24/04/2016 12:30

You are being unreasonable.

He doesn't want his 10 year old doing this unsupervised.

You sound very desperate for your child to have an unsupervised experience with his mates. If you want that, set one up with similar like-minded parents.

bluespiral · 24/04/2016 12:33

I wouldn't let a 10yo go round a theme park on their own.

Icantstopeatinglol · 24/04/2016 12:33

My ds is 8 and I can't imagine in 2yrs time I'd be happy him wandering round a theme park with 2 friends by themselves. I'd actually be relieved someone else was watching them and I'd be tempted to go too.

WorraLiberty · 24/04/2016 12:33

X posted.

The Police may well think it's safe, but that doesn't mean the kids don't need some help/reassurance at times.

Either way, this man's son might be nervous and therefore happier with his Dad coming along.

It doesn't mean they should have chosen the family day out, because his DS might have wanted to be with the other kids.

ChicRock · 24/04/2016 12:33

I would class myself as a fairly relaxed parent but I'm not sure I'd be happy with my very sensible 10 year old spending a day unsupervised at a theme park. I definitely wouldn't be happy at my 11 year old nephew spending a day unsupervised at a theme park. It all depends on the child.

YABU and hysterical to talk about your child being 'stalked' for the day.

Colchestergal · 24/04/2016 12:34

You are BU. They are 10. Too young IMO to be left on their own for the day in a theme park.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 24/04/2016 12:35

I don't think the other Parents were unreasonable to have wanted to keep an eye on their 10 year old.

You are unreasonable to be really bloody angry about it.

thecatfromjapan · 24/04/2016 12:35

By the way, my dh used to work 'supervising' trips for young people. He had no qualifications, no life-experience, and was only sacked when he lost a young person.

I'd be the parent volunteering to be a chaperone.

On the other hand, I think it's unlikely anything out of the ordinary will happen. Even feckless dh only had one mishap!Grin

EponasWildDaughter · 24/04/2016 12:36

Yep, sorry, i'd want an adult to accompany a 10 year old's coach trip to a theme park.

I agree with a pp that there are safer ways to let a bunch of 10 year old's have a bit of freedom. A bit nearer home maybe, and where they have more control over the whole situation.

QuiteLikely5 · 24/04/2016 12:37

Yabu.

if anything you should be greatful about the guy going along

I'm wondering what you said to him for him to advise you that 'he wouldn't be taking responsibility for the other kids'

Did he say that to you?

Seems a bit of an odd thing to say as in his shoes of course I'd keep an eye on the other children