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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think this is effing rude?

135 replies

littlefrenchonion · 15/04/2016 18:28

So a good friend of 20 odd years of ours is attending a course very near us (15 mins away) this weekend and text DP to ask of we'd like to come and meet him for a meal tonight. We said we'd love to see him, but perhaps he could come to ours and I would cook us all a meal so that DD (1 yo) could get to bed on time. Offered a place to stay and a pick up/lift back if he wanted it too.

Didn't hear back all day so went and got things to make a curry and gave house a good tidy in case he came.

He's text DP to say thanks but no thanks as 'timings don't work out' for him. All fine so far.

Logged onto FB, and I see he's posted a shout out to anyone else in the area wanting to join him for a drink or a meal tonight, but 'no boring folk, I've got enough of those already'.

I'd heard people can be like this when you have a baby, but this is the first time I've experienced it. I don't think my cooking is horrendous either!

Feel a bit gutted and quite hurt really! Sad

AIBU?

OP posts:
ShinyTurd · 15/04/2016 18:30

Yup, rude. I'd feel very snubbed if I were you. And to not even reply to your message, he's not a friend.

Foslady · 15/04/2016 18:30

Post back 'failing that there's the curry waiting at my house you could come over for if you don't want to eat with him!'

ChessieFL · 15/04/2016 18:30

Very rude.

BackforGood · 15/04/2016 18:31

Yup.
That's rude.

Judgementalsocialist · 15/04/2016 18:31

Ouch.
No, you're not BU. He sounds like an a*hole.

ShinyTurd · 15/04/2016 18:31

Sorry, ignore the second part of my post about not replying to your message. Misread your post.

Still rude though.

KittenOfWoe · 15/04/2016 18:32

Jumping to the (quite probable) conclusion that he's referring to you guys, no YANBU in being miffed. I would too!!

I'd also be tempted to leave a snotty PA remark because I'm a petty, petty person tbh but it's really not worth the agro. I'd mention it to your DP and leave it at that. Bur yes, pretty crappy behaviour - even if he didn't mean you, he should have thought how it might reflect.

whois · 15/04/2016 18:32

Oh. That's upsetting.

I'd really like a curry - you in london??

LaContessaDiPlump · 15/04/2016 18:33

What a twat!

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 15/04/2016 18:33

ach, he want to be Out Out....

however I'd make sure he never got another invite to mine, good friend or no...rude fucker.

3littlebadgers · 15/04/2016 18:33

Oh my lovely, I bet your curry is lush and would beat a night out with that fool hands down! Very rude, and speaks volumes about how childish he is.

Floggingmolly · 15/04/2016 18:34

God, that's awful! Surely he knew you'd see his fb post? Thick as well as rude...

sonlypuppyfat · 15/04/2016 18:34

What a tit, what was he thinking

AgathaMystery · 15/04/2016 18:34

YANBU.

Having a baby is hard work & honestly I'm not surprised that by Friday you fancy staying in & catching up with an old friend. It sounds like a lovely night was offered.

Would be v tempted to comment saying 'ah shame you couldn't come tonight! Got 8 coming for dinner and a mobile casino being set up downstairs! Can't move in the kitchen for the chef & bottles of fizz! Have a fab night!'

I have a few friends who honestly cannot fathom the my life has changed a little bit & that with shift work/ DC/ DH working away I can't be as spontaneous as I was & sometimes all midweek I am confined to barracks in the evenings but really happy to host at mine. It's never accepted Confused

Floggingmolly · 15/04/2016 18:34

Hope he ends up in McDonalds on his own...

Coconutty · 15/04/2016 18:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mishaps · 15/04/2016 18:34

His loss - what an idiot.

memyselfandaye · 15/04/2016 18:34

Hes having a dig in your direction? Yet he's begging for company on facebook!

TiggerPiggerPoohBumWee · 15/04/2016 18:35

It might not be about you at all. In fact if he is a good friend I think its not very nice of you to assume it is about you. Isn't it more likely he's talking about the course he is attending and how boring that is/the people are?

RhiWrites · 15/04/2016 18:35

He was rude.

But you did completely change the nature of the event. He invited you to a meal out, you said you were only up for a meal of your choice, served in your house, around the needs of your child. That's a massive shift in plans.

Timeforabiscuit · 15/04/2016 18:35

I'm going against the grain and saying that a meal out with old friends from back in the day is NOT the same as tiptoeing around someone else's house with a very young child.

The no boring people bit is rude though!

SaucyJack · 15/04/2016 18:35

Boring was a rude word to use publicly, but I think it's fine that wanted to go out out instead of having his dinner round yours.

Buzzardbird · 15/04/2016 18:36

How does DP feel about it? (if it were me DF would now be XDF)

Ingles2 · 15/04/2016 18:37

Nah, it's Friday night, he wanted to go OUT for dinner and drinks, not sit at yours so the baby can go to sleep...

wickedlazy · 15/04/2016 18:37

Different if he'd said he wanted a wild night, to go on the pull or something, you'd think oh fair enough, but 'no boring folk, I've got enough of those already'. He's a cheeky bastard. I would write him off if that's what he thinks of you. Dickhead.