To think this is effing rude?

[littlefrenchonion]

So a good friend of 20 odd years of ours is attending a course very near us (15 mins away) this weekend and text DP to ask of we'd like to come and meet him for a meal tonight. We said we'd love to see him, but perhaps he could come to ours and I would cook us all a meal so that DD (1 yo) could get to bed on time. Offered a place to stay and a pick up/lift back if he wanted it too.

Didn't hear back all day so went and got things to make a curry and gave house a good tidy in case he came.

He's text DP to say thanks but no thanks as 'timings don't work out' for him. All fine so far.

Logged onto FB, and I see he's posted a shout out to anyone else in the area wanting to join him for a drink or a meal tonight, but 'no boring folk, I've got enough of those already'.

I'd heard people can be like this when you have a baby, but this is the first time I've experienced it. I don't think my cooking is horrendous either!

Feel a bit gutted and quite hurt really!

AIBU?

Wdgin, OP has totally let it go now

Peace and love.

What a rude, offensive git...hope you have no further contact with him, nobody needs this in their lives

This is what I'm talking about, its SO SO over the top. A friend of 20 years makes a comment on FB that has nothing to do with you really, and you'd ditch the friendship entirely? The people with this kind of attitude must be exceptionally hard work. And I bet big that they don't have friends of 20 years anyway, they all get cut off for looking at them funny or some imaginary transgression.

I'm with yorkshapudding. What's more important, the chance to catch up with old friends (with a free meal thrown in) or going Out Out with any old Facebook acquaintance who happens to be free?

YWNBU to be a bit miffed, OP.

Tigger YABU. It's FB. Those rules that govern normal relationships and behaviour? Fuck 'em.

One throwaway comment that was almost certainly not aimed at the OP? Never, ever speak to the useless, rude, offensive bastard again. 20 year of friendship? It was on Facebook damnit! That platform of reasoned responses and tranquility. He's dead to you now.

Had the unrepentant, curry-dodging fucker said it in rl, no-one would have noticed.

He wasn't being rude asking on FB imo. He wanted to go out, you weren't available. He publicly asked other friends who are likely still living in the same area if they were up for a night out rather than ringing/texting people and having them all possibly turn him down. It wouldn't put people on the spot and would give time to make arrangements for those who needed it.

His turn of phrase 'no boring people' I would have taken to be 'I really want a massive piss up so if you're not up for that, please don't make this something it's not' and was just a clunky way of saying that. I might have joking replied with 'sorry we're too boring for you (big grin/winky face). Next time give us a bit more notice and we'll get a sitter'

What a dick, very rude, I would not bother with him, as your all so boring . Your offer sounds fab by the way .

Actually I can understand him having a bit of a cob on. You could at least have tried to get a babysitter. And there's two of you, a child only needs one parent at home. Unless you're surgically attached at one of you could have made the effort to go out for a couple of pints at least.

Saying straight off the bat 'No, that's past babies bedtime' is annoying and would have given him the (correct) impression that you weren't that bothered about seeing him unless he was prepared to fit in with you.

Everyone understands that sometimes when you're a parent you just can't do things. But we've all had the friend who just stops even trying and turns down invitations as routine or expects all arrangements to revolve around them because they've had kids and it's a bit frustrating.

Yes, the post was a bit rude. But I think you were a bit rude first just making it obvious you couldn't be arsed to make any effort to see him.

BillSykes nailed it.

Maybe you friend had had enough of always being the one to accomodate. Why didn't one of you join him while the other watched the toddler? If "seeing old friends" is soooooo important surely you could have tried a bit harder.

I'd reply to his Facebook post saying "Sorry timings don't work for me!"

He declined your offer and made other plans. So what? Perhaps he wanted a night out that didn't involve a baby. Not a huge deal, Op. If it upsets you, remove him from your circle of friends.