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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think this is effing rude?

135 replies

littlefrenchonion · 15/04/2016 18:28

So a good friend of 20 odd years of ours is attending a course very near us (15 mins away) this weekend and text DP to ask of we'd like to come and meet him for a meal tonight. We said we'd love to see him, but perhaps he could come to ours and I would cook us all a meal so that DD (1 yo) could get to bed on time. Offered a place to stay and a pick up/lift back if he wanted it too.

Didn't hear back all day so went and got things to make a curry and gave house a good tidy in case he came.

He's text DP to say thanks but no thanks as 'timings don't work out' for him. All fine so far.

Logged onto FB, and I see he's posted a shout out to anyone else in the area wanting to join him for a drink or a meal tonight, but 'no boring folk, I've got enough of those already'.

I'd heard people can be like this when you have a baby, but this is the first time I've experienced it. I don't think my cooking is horrendous either!

Feel a bit gutted and quite hurt really! Sad

AIBU?

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 15/04/2016 18:37

He was rude in that he should have just declined the offer of dinner at your house at the outset. He asked you to come out with him. He didn't want dinner with a baby, he wanted to go out. So he should have made that clear and just declined.

I've been stuck with people who are surgically attached to their offspring, however. EVERYTHING revolves around them. Now I have children myself, now all school-aged, and I have to admit, I avoid such parents because I find their company extraordinarily tedious and boring.

What he writes on his FB page is his business.

UpsiLondoes · 15/04/2016 18:37

I'd post... Note to self: never offer to cook for X again. Great manners, mate.

Original poster
littlefrenchonion · 15/04/2016 18:41

Thanks all - glad I am not BU!

whois - not in London unfortunately! Shame as there is now loads.

Oh well, DP and I will enjoy our coconut laksa on our own like the losers that we apparently are Angry.

So tempted by a PA reply to the FB post... No, I mustn't.

OP posts:
readingrainbow · 15/04/2016 18:42

Was this a last minute thing? I struggle to find babysitters last minute (or at all), so that sounds like a reasonable counter-offer to me.

His announcement on Facebook sounds like a dig, and he seems very immature.

TakeItFromMe · 15/04/2016 18:43

Would be v tempted to comment saying 'ah shame you couldn't come tonight! Got 8 coming for dinner and a mobile casino being set up downstairs! Can't move in the kitchen for the chef & bottles of fizz! Have a fab night!'

That is genius. Do that OP. I totally would.

RaeSkywalker · 15/04/2016 18:43

I think you extended a perfectly pleasant invitation when he was at a loose end. Fair enough, it didn't suit him- but he's essentially mocking you on the internet now. Are you sure he's a friend?

I wouldn't post anything in response.

StealthPolarBear · 15/04/2016 18:43

Buzzard I had to read that twice, thought you suggested op ltb because he has rude friends :o

RaeSkywalker · 15/04/2016 18:44

TakeIt Grin

Ciggaretteandsmirnoff · 15/04/2016 18:44

Cheeky bastard! Grin

You should of posted "oi you twat!"

StealthPolarBear · 15/04/2016 18:46

Yes oi you is the perfect light hearted response

BitOutOfPractice · 15/04/2016 18:48

Oh OP is there any left and are you in Essex? because I'd much rather come and see you than do what I'm doing tonight

How bloody rude of him. Some people are so a. rude b. stupid with it

Freeze the rest and you can have an instant dinner when you -can't be arsed to cook are busy

MadisonAvenue · 15/04/2016 18:48

What a twat, that's so rude.
Really hope he ends up alone tonight, and it'd be the last invitation he'd receive from me.

MunchMunch · 15/04/2016 18:48

Id probably reply something like "sorry our offer of coming round ours for tea so that dd could go to bed was too boring for you!"

BitOutOfPractice · 15/04/2016 18:49

Ohhell yes, post some amazing status update about the surprise night you had planned for him. Then add "Shame Buggerlugs couldn't make it" and tag him

Furiosa · 15/04/2016 18:49

littlefrenchonion

Oh I'd be very tempted to reply "Our offer stills stand if your interested. Unless we're the boring people your talking about Grin"

Just to show how he's not being ignored but rather being picky about his friends.

candykane25 · 15/04/2016 18:51

You find out a lot about people as you go through life's milestones.
Unfortunately this one turns out to be a bit of an immature gobshite.
It's no reflection on you.
Don't invite him again though.

Original poster
littlefrenchonion · 15/04/2016 18:53

I do appreciate we changed the game somewhat, but it's no secret we have a young child. I really don't think we are PFB parents particularly, but I am working tomorrow, hence why I didn't fancy disturbing DD's routine. I thought dinner at ours and a few beers was a reasonable solution. Seems he has nothing else to do! We are all in our 30s so I doubt he was expecting the hangover pt.4 (? what number are we on now?) - he's not really the type anyway.

OP posts:
TheWordOfBagheera · 15/04/2016 18:56

Are sure the 'boring folk' didn't refer to the course he was spending the day doing, rather than you?

PegsPigs · 15/04/2016 18:56

Such a shame he's been an arse. I would take it personally too but would be tempted to post the above response re chef and fizz Grin

TiggerPiggerPoohBumWee · 15/04/2016 18:57

I'm still not getting why OP, and everyone else, assumes the comment was about her? Seriously, there are other people in the world, its not all about you!

toomuchtooold · 15/04/2016 18:58

I do appreciate we changed the game somewhat, but it's no secret we have a young child

Yeah exactly - if he wanted someone to join him for a massive night out, maybe asking the parents of the 1 year old was a bad plan? Or does he think babies can just be stuck in the cupboard when they're inconvenient? Probly hoped you'd let DH go out on the piss with him while you stayed home with the baby - fuck that, frankly

Original poster
littlefrenchonion · 15/04/2016 18:58

GrinBitOutOfPractice - I like that - complete with instagrammed image of aforementioned awesome curry?

OP posts:
MrsMainwaring · 15/04/2016 18:59

What takeit said or you talking about me again ? Insert smiley face

expatinscotland · 15/04/2016 19:00

It may well be the 'boring people' aren't you at all.

Waltermittythesequel · 15/04/2016 19:02

Gosh, I don't know. I don't think he's been that U.

The FB post could be a dig, I suppose. But it might not be.

And he's away from home for a while. He wants to go out in the city he's in. There's nothing wrong with that.

IF I was away from home I'd much rather be out. Nice restaurant. Few drinks. Maybe some music.

Not listening to baby stories and worrying about laughing too loud in case we wake him/her.