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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask what you do Mother's Day?

139 replies

Onthedowns · 21/02/2016 18:27

It's fast approaching and I am already getting stressed! Currently 34 weeks with dc2 so probably not helping! We see a lot of both mother and mil . DH has informed me that sil has suggested spending the day at mil's this year, but I just don't want to! My mum is away and being heavily pregnant I want to spend some time with my dd before baby arrives. Last year I had both mothers at my house for lunch and normally we see one in morning and one in afternoon but now I would like a little time with my immediate family? DH doesn't see it! He suggested going for breakfast then spending after st mil still don't want to! I would do other way round ! He doesn't really appreciate I am a mother too!

OP posts:
80sMum · 21/02/2016 18:30

You're a mother too you know! It isn't just for the oldies. How about having a nice day doing what you want to do? Smile

Katenka · 21/02/2016 18:33

He also has a mother.

I would suggest seeing her early or letting him and dd go early and you chill out at home and then spend the rest of the day together.

This is where I am lucky with mil. She isn't particularly nice, lives hours away and isn't fussed about dh or the kids. So we spend the day all together and then go to my mums for tea.

Buttons23 · 21/02/2016 18:35

Never go to see my mil on the actual day. She goes to see her own mother and my oh often works Sunday's. I will go to see my mum but since her birthday is the week after, my sister and brother will come down the week after so i will be the only one seeing her on Mother's Day.

Perhaps could your oh take your dd for just a little while to your mil? It would give you a couple of hours alone(which I would love Mother's Day!) and then you could do something all together perhaps?

madmotherof2 · 21/02/2016 18:38

This year we're going away for Mother's Day and I can't wait!!

Normally we'd be expected to spend the day with my parents ( MIL died before I met DH) and I find that me also being a mum is totally forgotten about! This year were having a tough time medically with our youngest and I feel we all deserve a break and something to look forward to!

allegretto · 21/02/2016 18:38

Nothing

usual · 21/02/2016 18:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

deregistered · 21/02/2016 18:45

If you get this stressed about it honestly why 'celebrate' it all? Honestly it's really not a big deal.

Can't wait for the 642 threads on mother's day bemoaning the quality of cards/flowers and speed of cups of tea delivered in bed, MIL who 'put themselves first and ruined MY DAY'...

megletthesecond · 21/02/2016 18:48

I take the dc's out for a meal of my choice (lp). They're too young to cook a proper meal and I'm not cooking and cleaning on mothers day.

MazzleDazzle · 21/02/2016 18:56

I run around like a headless chicken buying/delivering gifts, with 2 small kids in tow, to expectant grandmothers.

Neither are particularly deserving. DH is often away working and puts in zero effort, yet his mother heaps him with praise for the gifts I've bought/delivered Hmm.

I loathe Mothers' Day! It should be renamed 'Extra work for Mothers' Day'.

SpringHasNearlySprung · 21/02/2016 18:57

DC's have booked my favourite restaurant. It's just DH and I going and I'm really looking forward to it. We'll go and visit MIL in the morning. I'd rather my DS's spent it with their partners and children rather than juggling their time to visit. DD1 and DD2 are working. As others have said can't your DH take your DD to visit mil while you have an hour or so to yourself?

DisappointedOne · 21/02/2016 19:02

Well, this year we'll be driving across Europe. In previous years, fuck all.

SevenSeconds · 21/02/2016 19:03

We aren't too fussed about Mother's Day here. I send my mum a card. DH sends his flowers. My DC make me cards. That's it Smile

Muskateersmummy · 21/02/2016 19:04

We try and go out for lunch, my DM, mil, SIL and her family, Bil and his family. But the last few years it hasn't panned out like that so we go out with DM and see mil in the morning.

Original poster
Onthedowns · 21/02/2016 19:05

Don't get me wrong I don't expect him not to see his mother and every year it's dinner or tea with her! All I am saying is is it so wrong to spend time with my children?

OP posts:
Katenka · 21/02/2016 19:05

Can't wait for the 642 threads on mother's day bemoaning the quality of cards/flowers and speed of cups of tea delivered in bed, MIL who 'put themselves first and ruined MY DAY

ah yes!

I remember the other year there was one moaning that the quality of the breakfast in bed, made by 2 kids, was lacking as they hadn't used her pancake recipe. It wasn't up to her standards, so she spent the rest of day sulking.

There seems to be some much expectation on Mother's Day.

DrDreReturns · 21/02/2016 19:06

He also has a mother.

This

Katenka · 21/02/2016 19:06

All I am saying is is it so wrong to spend time with my children?

no but it's not wrong that he wants to see his mum on Mother's Day either

Original poster
Onthedowns · 21/02/2016 19:08

I didn't say it was but all day seems a bit much? Like I said we see her 2-3 times a week DH more so. But I don't think it's unfair that I am mother to his children to want to do something alone as a family also. It becomes like Christmas spreading each other everywhere to please others!

OP posts:
Katenka · 21/02/2016 19:11

You seem to have made your mom be up that it's only fair that he spend the whole day with you. So why post?

You see your child everyday? Why is spending this one full day, so important?

I really can't see the issue with him going and see his mum for breakfast.

Katenka · 21/02/2016 19:11

You seem to have made up your mind

SmallBee · 21/02/2016 19:12

I'm sure his mum would love to see him but if I were you I'd play the pregnancy card and relax at home while he does/they do that then spend most of the day with your DD.

We will see MIL the day before and I'm hosting my mum, Nana and family on mother's day for a meal. Mum usually does it but their house is out of action. I'll be 17 weeks and still struggling to cook without vomiting so just doing a raclette and making everyone cook their own food! My DD is only two so I'm not used to it being a day for me as well yet but that's probably a good thing considering my plans!

Birdsgottafly · 21/02/2016 19:13

We always spent it with my Mum and Nan, when they were alive, my DHs Mum had died young.

If you think you've got it bad, every few years, my Birthday is on MD, restaurants are packed and having it at someone's house, is a non event.

This is the first MD without my Mum, I'm not bothered about it, I don't do flowers/chocolate/cards, I can't drink, so I'm getting pedicure stuff, it works out at a £5 each, for my girls.

I tell my DD, who is also a Mum, to organise what she wants to do, the same applies to Easter.

We make sure that her partner has managed to get something for her.

Original poster
Onthedowns · 21/02/2016 19:14

No your Mis reading it I didn't say spend whole day with me! I said I don't want to spend whole day with mil? He won't go for breakfast with her! This year is slightly different as our family dynamics will be changing for dd for which I am anxious to spend time with her.

OP posts:
Katenka · 21/02/2016 19:16

Well then why haven't you taken any suggestions on board?

You are ok with going to her for breakfast then coming home?

Suggest that or that he goes for an hour then comes home

Muskateersmummy · 21/02/2016 19:17

Can't you compromise? Join his mum and sister for lunch? That gives you a nice relaxing morning with you DD but he still gets to see his mum on Mothering Sunday?

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