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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to ask what you do Mother's Day?

139 replies

Onthedowns · 21/02/2016 18:27

It's fast approaching and I am already getting stressed! Currently 34 weeks with dc2 so probably not helping! We see a lot of both mother and mil . DH has informed me that sil has suggested spending the day at mil's this year, but I just don't want to! My mum is away and being heavily pregnant I want to spend some time with my dd before baby arrives. Last year I had both mothers at my house for lunch and normally we see one in morning and one in afternoon but now I would like a little time with my immediate family? DH doesn't see it! He suggested going for breakfast then spending after st mil still don't want to! I would do other way round ! He doesn't really appreciate I am a mother too!

OP posts:

IamlovedbyG · 21/02/2016 22:08

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster

Onthedowns · 22/02/2016 04:13

Well the suggestion of seperate Mother's Day didn't sit well as he wanted to take dd with him all afternoon kinda defeats the object!

OP posts:

Thankfulforeveryday · 22/02/2016 08:37

I'm surprised at how far most seem to take Mother's Day???!!!! I get a small gift and card for DM but generally that's it. Breakfast in bed by DD and no ironing makes the day as special as it needs to be. I doubt I'll visit my mum on the day and DH won't his either. I don't get the hype at all, surely you show your love for them all the time anyway???

Original poster

Onthedowns · 22/02/2016 12:18

I think in a roundabout way this is what I am saying! I just want to slob at home or lunch wth dd and DH ! But obviously need to make a fuss of mil for the whole day! My mum isn't so bothered as she knows I have my own family so to speak

OP posts:

Katenka · 22/02/2016 13:33

If he insisting you all spend all day with his mother hibu.

If he wants to go for breakfast either alone or with you and you won't have it then I think Yabu.

You said he suggested going for breakfast, not breakfast and lunch. She he would be home before midday and spend the rest of the day together.

It's Mother's Day, meaning all mothers. She is his mother. If he wants to see her let him.

Not really sure what you are looking for here.

wink1970 · 22/02/2016 14:41

we have arranged a lunch with DH, his siblings, my MIL and my own mum - luckily the 2 mums get on well, so it removes the politics.

I do feel for DH's sister, though, as she is a mum (and grandma) and yet is expected by her family to defer to her mum rather than having her own day.

BlueEnvelope · 22/02/2016 14:44

Gosh, the only mother I pay any attention to on Mother's Day is me. It usually involves a pasta necklace from DS (3, and having a Mr Maker phase) being handed over at the crack of dawn. I'll send my mother a card.

ItsaTenfromDen · 22/02/2016 14:50

My mother passed away years ago, so a trip to cemetery, probably the day before for me.

MIL will get cards and flowers and a visit from her son:)

I'm a Mum too, but I'll be working on Mothers Day. Will probably see DD2 the week before, she's away at uni, DD1 will be back that night, so will see her then.

I do appreciate receiving a card, but not bothered about presents.

CaffeineBomb · 22/02/2016 15:14

I really really hope when my son is grown up I have a dil who won't begrudge him seeing me for a while on Mother's Day (if he wants to)

LagunaBubbles · 22/02/2016 15:22

I really really hope when my son is grown up I have a dil who won't begrudge him seeing me for a while on Mother's Day (if he wants to)

This exactly.

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 22/02/2016 15:36

I'm NC with my mother.

If Dh wants to sort out going to see his mum then I'm happy to go but doubt he will be organised. So probably just a normal day here. I doubt that I'll get taken out to lunch.

DeoGratias · 22/02/2016 15:47

To ask what you do ON mother's day.... we are all astounded by the missing on. Ugh.

AndYourBirdCanSing · 22/02/2016 16:05

Well I personally hope that when my son is grown up with a family of his own he has the sense to make Mother's day a special day for the mother of HIS children, especially whilst the children were younger.

Pinkheart5915 · 22/02/2016 16:11

This will be my first Mother's Day as a mum to our 5 month old son and am also currently pregnant.

My husband has booked a table for sunday roast, at my favourite place his mum and my mum are coming. Then back to ours For homemade cakes and tea in the evening

CaffeineBomb · 22/02/2016 16:16

AndYourBird is there any reason that he can't do both? I'm sure when he is grown you would be sad if you were ignored on Mother's Day.

I just think when parents live nearby what's the harm in a quick visit in the morning and then spending the rest of the day with your wife and children.

Besides it sounds like the OP's DH would really quite like to see his mum and I don't think he should be criticised for that

AndYourBirdCanSing · 22/02/2016 16:33

There may of course be chance to do both but I honestly would expect my daughter/DIL to come first. I won't be doing all the knackering parenting by then I just think that sometimes it is all so bloody hard and you see so many threads on here about women having to make sacrifices or compromise what they would really like to do for the sake of the rest of the family (I'm thonking Christmas threads!). The OP is heavily pregnant with two young children- if she wants a quiet family day with her family at home then what's the problem?

ErgonomicallyUnsound · 22/02/2016 16:36

I long ago gave up thinking Mothers Day was for me.

Best to just pamper the olds, we have my mum and MIL over for a nice lunch that I will cook, and I will do something nice on another day of the year, thanks.

vdbfamily · 22/02/2016 16:39

I was brought up knowing nothing about mothers day,it just was not mentioned. When my 3 brothers married, their wives suddenly started sending cards to my mum on mothers day and mine was conspicuous by its absence! We do nothing in my family(ie DH and 3DC), although there is always a nice service at church and we all get a posy of flowers. We often visit my parents on a Sunday afternoon and if we did on Mothers day I would hug mum and wish her happy mothers day but do not always visit.

MamaLazarou · 22/02/2016 16:43

I don't do anything for Mothers Day. DS will probably make me a card at school. I'm NC with my mum and my MIL is NC with us. It's just another day in our house.

CaffeineBomb · 22/02/2016 16:47

No problem with her wanting a quiet day at home but of her DH wants to see his mum then that is his choice

Original poster

Onthedowns · 22/02/2016 16:56

I am not expecting him not to see his mum but I don't think I am being unreasonable in not expecting and all day event? As I am the mother of his children I would hope I carry some importance to his mother? My mother sees it like that certainly. I would do what he wishes for Father's Day as he is the father to my children and the most important person aside from them in my life. My father is very important but I think when you grow up and have your own families their needs and priorities come first that's how I have been bought up therefore there is never any expectation from my family. Like I said usually we split the day between both mothers or past two years I have hosted both mums and my sister had my mum and mil at hers for lunch year before.

OP posts:

Drew64 · 22/02/2016 17:18

As a DH I will be ensuring that my DW has a relaxing day doing exactly what she wants.
Problem - Our DS's (12 & 16) still don't get mothers day so any tips would be appreciated

Katenka · 22/02/2016 17:29

So then why not let him go in the morning for breakfast?

FelicityFunknickle · 22/02/2016 17:34

We ususally take my dm out for lunch and will do this year.
Sadly I don't have a MIL.
I am quite demanding about mothers day and expect a jam jar filled with daffodils from dh my dcs.

FelicityFunknickle · 22/02/2016 17:35

Ime mother's day is usually "given over" to the more senior mothers in the family
And father's day is pretty much ignored or celebrated with beer and socks.

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