To not want to eat food that my mother has cooked?

[Cheeseoncrumpets]

I probably am being a bit unreasonable a bit, but to put it bluntly she is shit at cooking. Everything is either frozen or out of a packet, either overcooked or undercooked, unseasoned and served on a freezing cold plate. Her roast dinners are the absolute worst though, unseasoned cremated meat, frozen Yorkshire puddings, burned roast potatoes and veg that's been stewed for about two hours smothered in thick gloopy bisto gravy. I feel sick just thinking about it.

So, she's currently in a huff with me because I don't want to go around there and eat one of her Sunday roasts. To put it into context, we usually all go out as a family together for Sunday dinner. But today she's decided she can't be bothered today's and so instead of asking us first has gone out this morning and bought a piece of beef, some veg and has announced she will be making us all lunch instead. My heart sunk as I was looking forward to a hearty Sunday meal, cooked properly in a nice pub. So I declined and said "no thanks, you know Im not a big lover of Sunday dinner" and then got in the ear because she's bought everything in for us, and she's also enquired as to why I will eat a roast in the pub but not one of hers...

So now I'm stuck. She's not good with crticism anyway so I can't really say "sorry mum but your a shit cook" without it provoking WW3.

I know it's trivial, but am I really unreasonable to not want to eat her slop cooking eveer again?

Can't you just suck it up for one meal to make your mum happy?

Can you offer to do the cooking?

Why don't you offer to help with the cooking?

Not everyone is a good cook. Unless her kitchen and cooking is likely to make you ill, I think it is a bit precious to refuse to go just because it's not great food. She has bought beef, veg etc and has offered to cook it for you. My Mum was a dreadful cook but whatever she made, she made to the best of her ability and I'd have felt really mean to refuse to eat at my parents.

You could, well you know, offer to help.

1. Have a big breakfast.
2. Mention you are on a diet/only wanting a small portion of lunch.
3. Have a nice tea when you get home.

Presumably a big part of the reason behind the family Sunday Lunch is so you can all get together, socialise, talk. The eating is relatively unimportant.

What a horrible post.

My daughter refuses to eat my food and it's really upsetting ( I'm not a bad cook, she is just controlling). It also makes us more distant as she can't really join in family celebrations. I think you are being petty.

I would ask her if she'd like you to help or offer to cook for her ( you know, since she can't be bothered to go out, she probably can't be bothered to cook either).

yabu i think, its one meal, im not a huge fan of my mothers cooking but i wouldnt hurt her feelings by refusing to eat what she had cooked

I think YABU! My MIL is an AWFUL cook ...she uses cup a soup as seasoning!! but I always go when asked and eat all I can.

It pleases her and it's one meal.

I think to reject her offer entirely is rude. You should've offered to help, or to do the cooking yourself. She has done a nice thing in offering a home cooked meal and been rejected.

I'm going against the tide here but I think yanbu.
She changed the plans without checking if everyone wanted their plans changed so she can't be outraged if not everyone is agreeable.
I can't eat crap anymore and wouldn't be able to force myself, I wouldn't go or I would visit after dinner.

I agree with previous posters.. Offer to help her cook and indirectly give her some tips by showing off your own culinary prowess

I can only assume that those who think you rude have never been at the mercy of a terrible cook.

I haven't eaten at my mother's for nearly 20 years. She wouldn't have tolerated any help in the kitchen either.

How rude.

Actually that should be nearly 25 years.

I've told her I'll go now, in order to keep the peace. I just had this horrible flash back to the wet, cold Sunday's of my childhood trying to stomach her Sunday dinners.

Believe me I would offer to help gladly, but she's very controlling of her kitchen and won't accept it. Any advice about to do things differently in order to make stuff taste nicer is shot down.

I presume you didn't die of malnutrition growing up?

It wouldn't hurt you to eat what she's bought or offer to help.

My MIL's food is awful, very much like you have described. Everything is frozen or ready made. She does a nice line in partially defrosted puddings and cremated meat.

I eat it and smile and know that I don't have to eat it very often!

Just put up with it and be pleased she has made the effort to cook.

YABU.

Cross post. In her place I wouldn't be rushing to invite you again.

Ooh sil has us all over once a fortnight and really really cant cook. She wont accept help or get a take away.
She is a lovely lovely woman so we all go and suck it up, even my kids (5 and 13) say its lovely and thank her then get something to ear at home.

I love my boys for not hurting her feelings, some of the meals are odd and hard to stomach but they paste on a smile.

Lol gleam yes she's a terrible cook. So many things I thought I didn't like as a child I discovered I actually do like as an adult, it just my DM can't cook them properly. Roast potatoes, broccoli, cauliflower, even carrots. She boils them until the water turns bloody orannge!