To not want to eat food that my mother has cooked?

[Cheeseoncrumpets]

I probably am being a bit unreasonable a bit, but to put it bluntly she is shit at cooking. Everything is either frozen or out of a packet, either overcooked or undercooked, unseasoned and served on a freezing cold plate. Her roast dinners are the absolute worst though, unseasoned cremated meat, frozen Yorkshire puddings, burned roast potatoes and veg that's been stewed for about two hours smothered in thick gloopy bisto gravy. I feel sick just thinking about it.

So, she's currently in a huff with me because I don't want to go around there and eat one of her Sunday roasts. To put it into context, we usually all go out as a family together for Sunday dinner. But today she's decided she can't be bothered today's and so instead of asking us first has gone out this morning and bought a piece of beef, some veg and has announced she will be making us all lunch instead. My heart sunk as I was looking forward to a hearty Sunday meal, cooked properly in a nice pub. So I declined and said "no thanks, you know Im not a big lover of Sunday dinner" and then got in the ear because she's bought everything in for us, and she's also enquired as to why I will eat a roast in the pub but not one of hers...

So now I'm stuck. She's not good with crticism anyway so I can't really say "sorry mum but your a shit cook" without it provoking WW3.

I know it's trivial, but am I really unreasonable to not want to eat her slop cooking eveer again?

Suggest OP cooks dinner and her Mum posts on here about the meal.

you should teach her how to cook so this doesnt happen again

Santas - not going to get into a debate with you re mealtime etiquette. There's clearly a difference between a one time dodgy dish which you suck up politely and still thank the chef for and hideous family meals, with their expectations of conformity and praise, which you dread each week. Life's too short.

If, by your rather odd definition, I'd be selfish to choose to eat healthy, well cooked food over a dried out old joint and mushy veg, week in, week out, then happy to be so. No one 'needs' another adult to eat their poor cooking. I do actually feel rather sorry for the mother in this situation though. If she genuinely thinks her cooking is good and no one will tell her different, she can't win.

Ok, well just arrived at the rents. Dinner won't be served until "about 2.30" but the veg is already boiling away on the stove, and so it begins.

I mean seriously broccoli takes about five to ten mins to cook, and cauliflower a little longer. Cooking them for 45 minutes (or probably longer in DM's case) is bloody ridiculous.

Oh, I wouldn't tell my host what I thought of frozen Yorkshire puddings.

I'd just gaze mournfully into middle distance whilst inside a little tiny piece of me died.

I think roasts are quite emotionally-charged dinners, as far as food goes. I've never seen people get quite so hung up about shepherds pie or pasta bake. They really seem to be a labour of love for some people.

I'd like to put a word in for the rubbish chefs among us.

I'm a crap not a very good cook either and I use frozen roasties and yorkshires because my own would be direr!

In my defence, I don't like cooking and if someone else prefers to do it and just use me as a kitchen maid I am quite happy to peel spuds etc - or better still go out to eat!

It was my turn to do Christmas dinner this year and I just ordered everything (and I MEAN everything) from M&S and followed their instructions. It was good actually (well I thought so and either everyone else agreed or they were just being nice).

It's the height of rudeness to sit and compliment someone on their cooking when in reality, everyone is trying not to gag.

No. The height of rudeness is to put down the cooking of someone who has taken the time to prepare you a meal and has done so out of love. I'm no pushover but I have enough respect for other people to not belittle their efforts.

Does she know she's not very good at cooking?

I know some people are saying is about the getting together as a family, socialising, etc, but why can't it have the added benefit of it being a nice meal. Also, what a waste of good ingredients!

Neither of my parents were very good cooks, and yes, we survived our childhoods, but it doesn't mean that I would want to eat it again. Especially now I don't have to.

Oh my DM won't have made our roast out of love, it will be out of martyrdom.

Maybe you could have arrived earlier and helped her then. Rather than turning up and slagging of her cooking. If you were my guest you'd be wearing the gravy.

The OP is not being asked to eat her mother's Sunday roasts week in, week out. They normally all eat out together in a pub. As a one off, it is hideously rude to tell your mother no because it brings back unhappy memories of childhood!! I'm amazed they can all stomach pub roasts every week, anyway, tbh - they are nothing like a properly cooked home roast dinners. Will the OP's mother not accept an invitation to the OP's for an example of how to do it properly? Mind you, burnt meat is how some people like it, so the mother might hate her dd's version. At least that could then provoke a more honest discussion!

The only way any of us would ever know for sure if the OP is BU is by tasting her mum's food and that isn't going to happen.

My mum cooks a beef joint for a long time but I love it. She braises it in a covered dish with a little stock and it comes out very tender. Makes beautiful gravy. She uses Aunt Bessie's Yorkshire puddings and roast potatoes these days and I think they're fine. She does cook her veg a big longer than I would but it's also perfectly OK.

The one clear difference between the OP's mum and mine is that my mum serves all food in very hot serving dishes and the dinner plates are heated to the point that it's not safe to touch them with the bare hand. That does make a big difference, to be fair. Cold, congealing gravy is not very nice.

I have a lot of sympathy for the OP because my MIL loathed cooking and had never mastered it. It would have gone down like a lead balloon if I'd breezed in and offered to cook, never mind the ructions that would have been caused if I'd offered my honest opinion of her food, so I just forced it down and counted down the minutes till we would be at home and I could get some decent food again.

I love food and grew up in a family of good cooks, so it was a penance going to stay there. It would have been less so if we'd got on better in other ways, but we had next to nothing in common and it was all a bit tense, so the food was really just the last straw.

My lovely brother and his wife are terrible cooks, but they are very generous, very kind and I love them loads. So every now and again I eat an overcooked meal because I love being with them. And I wouldn't dream of criticising their cooking.
Just put up with it. It won't kill you.

And all those people saying "meat should be cooked pink".
Says who?
I like mine medium, but everyone's taste is different. there is a reason in restaurants they ask how you want your steak cooked.

My dad likes his beef/steak, in his words : "Cremated"
So I cook his portion for longer. Doesnt hurt me. Although I dont like chewy meat , one meal at the parents, every now and again which exercises my jaw is not the end of the world.

Whew, that was a bit more ranty than I wanted it to be. My parents dont live near me, and have both been quite ill, so I suppose I am a bit more sensitive to the fact that they wont always be around...

My mum wasn't great either but I'd always eat her food (and do as much to help prepare it). I think it's one of those things you put up with because it's your mum. She's not poisoned you yet has she? (Always a first time though..).

Yes usual I like good food. Nothing wrong with wanting to eat properly. After a childhood spent eating slop I think I'm entitled to it.

My DM is actually quite fussy herself and I don't think she knows how things should taste. The only veg she will eat are peas and carrots.

One of my cousins is married to a trained chef, I remember once years ago now they invited myself, DM and my Autie for Sunday lunch. He had cooked it and OMG it was lush, Rosemary and garlic roasters being the highlight. I was actually still quite fussy then but was too polite not to eat it, but was so glad I did. I realise then how delicious a Sunday roast could be. DM of course whinged afterwrds about it was too rich and the neat was undercooked etc. I thought it was the bicest meal I'd ever eaten!

My dm doesn't always overcook the veges, but she does like her pasta to be dripping starch. Definitely not al dente for her! There is a generational element to this. And probably in the past it was an idea to cook vegetables for longer to ensure the slugs, beetles and fungus nestling in them were properly cooked, too!

All the people suggesting the OP helps with the cooking should understand that this is not how some families work. Neither of my parents would allow me to take their place in such a way.
If I cook at their place it would be something just for me if they're having something else. I wouldn't be allowed to cook the family meal in their kitchen.

Sometimes you have to do things in life you don't want to do.

I get why you are annoyed, I do, but just make your mum happy, spend time together as a family and maybe eat small portions as suggested, or help with cooking. Your mum has very likely done things during your life that she didn't want to do.

I would rather suck it up and see my mum smile rather than tell her I dislike her store bought Yorkshire puddings. Not all mothers go to the effort of cooking and gathering the family together.

Maybe you could go to cooking classes as a hobby, or just get together and make things. You can pretend you want to learn more whilst at the same time she will learn too.

I am literally only just learning to cook now, and it's actually not as easy as I thought. Anyone can make a meal like a traditional Sunday dinner, but not everyone can make a good one. I have recently proven this.

Gwenhywfar my DM won't accept help in the kitchen. She insists on doing everything and then huffs and puffs and whinges about it. Martyrdom at its finest.

You know those twats on Come Dine With Me who go on about being 'foodies'?

They're annoying.

ex mil cooks her veg for hours then microwaves them we tried to eat her food to be polite but i must admit a large argument was had with ex dp and myself when he decided we should go for christmas dinner he screamed at me i was a fussy bitch and i could suck it up i reminded him of this when he was welded to the toilet because she gave us food poisoning in fact i distinctly remember telling him no im not sharing my anti diarrhea tablets he could fucking suck it up

she wouldn't allow us to help either infact she goes so far as to not going anywhere she can't control the food she always refused to eat at my house because several years ago i had a cat he is dead now has been for awhile but its still there "cat germs"

She puts years of work in to raising you so...yes, yabu. I understand why you don't want to but you know, just suck it up. Maybe leave quite a bit so she doesn't get any ideas of doing it regularly.

I would just be honest with her and say 'I love you mum but I don't love your cooking', and establish that if you eat at hers you do the cooking - so she can 'relax' and spend time with the gc.

Greet all moans with 'I smell burning matyr'.