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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not find time to bath my children?

627 replies

Poppybella2015 · 09/01/2016 09:22

Ok they do get a bath on a Sunday morning with bubbles and a hair wash, like I did as a child. The house also gets cleaned on a Sunday. But then life takes over.

Weekdays after school are a combination of clubs (2 a week) friends over, relatives popping round to see the kids, by the time we have had dinner I think oh my god the kids need to go to bed or it will be too late for them! (They currently sleep 8-7 and I have to wake them on a school day they are two and six) the toddler smells a bit cheesy by about Tuesday, the older one could do with another bath as she sometimes wees her pants at school and then sits in them :( my house turns into a tip in the week too as I always get invited to see a relative/go to a toddler group etc and then when toddler naps I flake out in exhaustion as I have an on going sinus infection and toddler wakes me a couple of times a night.

I really want to have a nice clean home, nice clean kids, be in a nice relaxed routine but life just seems to get in the way and make everything rushed.

I'm sure most people are hectic in the week and those that are not how do you do it? Should I be refusing play dates etc? Ignore relatives when they come round and bath the kids instead? Just tell people I'm busy but risk loosing friends??

Help!!

OP posts:
Nottodaythanks1 · 09/01/2016 09:23

Is this serious? Make Tuesdays a "no visitors" day and wash your children!

Buttercup27 · 09/01/2016 09:24

My 2 year old gets in the shower with me in the morning. Could your 6 year old shower whole you dry and dress 2 year old. Only takes 5 min.

ChessieFL · 09/01/2016 09:24

Yabu. Of course you should bath your kids. Every other day is fine, it takes about 15 minutes at the most, put them both in the bath together, quick wipe over with flannel/soap, wash hair. 6 yo old enough to dry themselves and get into pyjamas while you sort toddler.

TheCatsMeow · 09/01/2016 09:24

Why does your toddler smell cheesy? Confused

I bath my baby twice a week, it only takes 5 minutes

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 09/01/2016 09:24

Feed your kids when the friends/relatives are there. Tell them to go at 7. Put both kids in bath at 7. While their splashing around quickly tidy up upstairs. It takes 20 minutes for both. Job done.

MamaLazarou · 09/01/2016 09:25

Your kids should definitely be your priority over visitors, socialising, etc, yes. Can they shower instead? Only takes 10 minutes.

MigGril · 09/01/2016 09:30

I have to admit we don't and never have done nightly baths. To much bother and my kids like me have sensative skin so to much bathing isn't good for them.

But couldn't you fit in another bath mid week. Say we don't do play dates on x night a week and keep that one night free so you can do baths.

What about home work? I'm finding as DD gets older year 4 she now gets quit a bit of home work at have to fit that in somewhere to. So charming it down a bit mite be a good idea now.

TurnOffTheTv · 09/01/2016 09:30

Stop being lazy, bathing 2 kids takes 10mins if you want it too. What exactly are you doing in the 5 hours after school finishes?

FlatOnTheHill · 09/01/2016 09:30

Ive had this conversation before with my DSis. Her neighbour does this with her kid. Its disgusting.
So after being at school all day and going to clubs etc they have NO bath and hair wash? They must stink musty. Your bedding must stink as well.
Im sorry OP but I know a lot of people and bath time is a nightly thing.
This is not right. And for those on here that say its bad for your skin to bath every night, there are very mild bath washes on the market.
OP you need to sort yourself out and bath those kids.

Lurkedforever1 · 09/01/2016 09:31

Yabu. Nothing wrong with a muddy dirty child occassionally going to bed like that if they're tired, and you clean them and the bedding next morning. But leaving piss on their skin is rank and can't be comfortable. Just pure laziness op.

Do you want your kids to be the smelly dirty one at school?

wonkylegs · 09/01/2016 09:32

Our DS has only had one regular bath (now shower) a week since he was a baby but we always wash him if he's had an accident or got particularly mucky. He's never been stinky.
We started off this way because I have a disability and bathing a baby safely required my husband to be around and due to his shift patterns this generally only worked out to be once a week. (I could do a flannel wash but not a bath on my own).
To be fair it's worked out well and DS has never suffered from skin problems unlike DH & I.
You need to make time for extra washes if the kids have accidents or are smelly but they don't need bathing every day. To be fair if granny is here she tends to do bath time, so maybe you can combine relative visits with bath time.

Bluecarrot · 09/01/2016 09:32

I feel like this sometimes too OP. It can be overwhelming.
Dd usually only gets a bath at weekends too but if something happens and she needs an extra wash, it's v shallow utility wash rather than luxurious long playtime kinda bath.

For housework, fly lady has been a godsend for many. Little bits at a time, and small habits (I wipe kitchen counters/brush floor or empty bin while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil. My two year old will happily brush dirt around up and enjoyed helping with other "housework games" (sadly by 8 these don't seem as much fun according to dd1!)
We have one day in the house every week, but out the rest. I really need that day in.

ScarlettDarling · 09/01/2016 09:32

Yes, you really need to be bathing them. If even you notice that they are whiffy then other people will be noticing too and you really don't want them to be "the smelly ones".

Bath time takes 10 mins, don't see why you're making it into such a big thing. Run a bath while dinner is cooking and plonk both of them in together. Let them play for 10 mins while you sit and talk with them, then out, cosy onesies on and eat dinner. Or do it just before bed. Whatever time suits you really.

And if you only have 2 organised activities each week then it really should be easy. Accept play dates but make sure they end at 5.30... Leaving loads of time for baths. If relatives come over, then just excuse yourself for 10 minutes for bath time.

Believe me you don't risk losing friends because you need 10 minutes to bath your kids!

Whoknewitcouldbeso · 09/01/2016 09:33

My three year old gets in the shower with DP in the morning. Just long enough to soap him thoroughly and out. It doesn't have to take long.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 09/01/2016 09:33

Are you drinking with friends and relatives when they come round?

Sunnybitch · 09/01/2016 09:33

Yes yabu! I'd say making sure your children are clean is more important than having visitors round, either tell them your busy or leave them wait downstairs

timelytess · 09/01/2016 09:34

Please give your children a daily bath/shower and wash their hair regularly. This is basic parenting, like providing meals and a safe place to sleep.

ChubbyPolecat · 09/01/2016 09:34

That's pretty minging. ..your kids must smell especially if your dd sometimes has to sit in urine. If you're that busy how often do you wash their clothes and sheets?

Alisvolatpropiis · 09/01/2016 09:34

This doesn't sound right, washing children is a basic thing which you're not doing so it sounds as though you're struggling.

Do you have a partner? Can the relatives who visit help you get in to a better routine?

Helloitsme90 · 09/01/2016 09:35

I always bath my Toddler when relatives are round. My routine isn't going change because they've fancied a visit. The majority of the time if my mum has come over she will take over the tea so I have 10 mins to have a quick tidy and run a bath for my toddler. You can find 15 mins in the day to do this. 2-3 times a week for a bath is plenty. YABU

Original poster
Poppybella2015 · 09/01/2016 09:36

We do a club/play date after school then pick dh up from work then come home cook dinner eat and then they go straight to bed as they are shattered. I try and reserve Wednesday nights for bath but then relatives see we are in and come round to see the kids. I guess I need to prioritise baths over sleep? Or just say no to people?

OP posts:
BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 09/01/2016 09:36

Taking this post at face value, YABU. Mine always have a bath on a Sunday then the older 2 (4&6) shower everyday after school except Friday. My (almost Sad) 3yo, who hates showers has a bath usually Mon, Wed & Friday after I've bathed the 6mo. She does get a bath in between if needed. I shower everyday in the am then hope I get time for a bath in the evening a couple of nights a week.

If it's grandparents or other trusted relatives visiting would you feel comfortable letting them give them a bath? Mine love it if Grandad turns up at bath time on a Sunday! He let's them play for longer tham boring Mummy & Daddy and it gives us 20-30 minutes to get everything sorted for Monday morning.

FattieDoc · 09/01/2016 09:36

Bath your kids and organise your time better 🤔

GiantYorkiePud · 09/01/2016 09:36

Bathing doesn't need to be a nightly thing Hmm
Mine have skin problems, daily baths/showers make it worse. They probably have a bath 3 times a week max. They don't have hair wash every time. They don't smell.
They do have a wash every night before bed (bubble bath in the sink) but I'm sure most ppl don't actually bath their kids every single night. It's unecessary.
Also in summer, paddling pool full of bubble bath after school.

firefly78 · 09/01/2016 09:37

if my 4 year old wets the bed then i give him a bath before school even if hes had one the night before. i don't want him to be smelly at school.

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