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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not find time to bath my children?

627 replies

Poppybella2015 · 09/01/2016 09:22

Ok they do get a bath on a Sunday morning with bubbles and a hair wash, like I did as a child. The house also gets cleaned on a Sunday. But then life takes over.

Weekdays after school are a combination of clubs (2 a week) friends over, relatives popping round to see the kids, by the time we have had dinner I think oh my god the kids need to go to bed or it will be too late for them! (They currently sleep 8-7 and I have to wake them on a school day they are two and six) the toddler smells a bit cheesy by about Tuesday, the older one could do with another bath as she sometimes wees her pants at school and then sits in them :( my house turns into a tip in the week too as I always get invited to see a relative/go to a toddler group etc and then when toddler naps I flake out in exhaustion as I have an on going sinus infection and toddler wakes me a couple of times a night.

I really want to have a nice clean home, nice clean kids, be in a nice relaxed routine but life just seems to get in the way and make everything rushed.

I'm sure most people are hectic in the week and those that are not how do you do it? Should I be refusing play dates etc? Ignore relatives when they come round and bath the kids instead? Just tell people I'm busy but risk loosing friends??

Help!!

OP posts:
Kraggle · 09/01/2016 09:44

Right so if you have a dh, one can bath the kids while the other cooks dinner.

formerbabe · 09/01/2016 09:44

if my 4 year old wets the bed then i give him a bath before school even if hes had one the night before. i don't want him to be smelly at school

I have a dc who still occasionally wets the bed too. I also stick them in the bath the next morning. You don't want them to be smelly at school. Other kids notice and it's a hard label to lose once you have it.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 09/01/2016 09:44

Why cant you bath you two year old during the day?

Also, when its school holidays, do you still only bath them once a week?

Littlef00t · 09/01/2016 09:45

Could you have a weekly slow cooker meal so there's no dinner prep, and use the time to bathe them?

wannabestressfree · 09/01/2016 09:45

Your husband could bath them whilst you do the dinner or vice versa..
You could stick them in first thing?.
I think the most shameful part of your post is that your daughter sits in urine. She needs to be bathed etc.
It's not bad management of time it's neglectful. Stop organising play dates and do the basics.

Original poster
Poppybella2015 · 09/01/2016 09:45

wonkycarotts and bluecarrot thank you for the helpful advice. I think a quick shallow bath could work with some oilatum as they have eczema. I didn't think of a shallow bath that will be nice and quick. My oldest has long hair so if it gets wet it takes about 20 minutes to blow dry both their hair.

OP posts:
Dinobab · 09/01/2016 09:45

Maybe get DH to bath them whilst you're cooking dinner? Or you bath them and he cooks dinner or whatever. They really do need more baths than once a week especially if the older one sometimes wets her self, she should be getting bathed everyday that happens atleast surely?

Wantagoodname · 09/01/2016 09:45

Reverse??
Has to be surely.
Anyway my 7 year old wets herself regularly and has a shower in the morning and a quick bath in the eve- showers literally 2 mins and bath can be 5 mins if have no time

Fairenuff · 09/01/2016 09:46

OP 7-8 hours a night is not enough sleep, especially for your 6 year old who cannot nap in the day. They will struggle with school, please make a schedule to make sure they are in bed by 7pm.

I think the problem is picking your dh up from work. What time is that?

PrimalLass · 09/01/2016 09:46

Which relatives? Get them to bath the kids.

Dinobab · 09/01/2016 09:46

If you bath them before dinner would her hair not air-dry before bed? Or tie her hair up and stick a shower cap on to stop it getting wet in the bath from splashes?

MrsJayy · 09/01/2016 09:46

If 1 kid is at after school clubbath your 2yr old or do it after toddler group then you only have your school child tobath

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 09/01/2016 09:46

put shower caps on them so their hair won't get wet

knobblyknee · 09/01/2016 09:47

If your kid smells then yes, YABU. Can you stand them in the bath and do a strip wash with a flannel?

Or tell people the kids need a bath, they cant be socialising up to bedtime.

Minisoksmakehardwork · 09/01/2016 09:47

My 4 get a bath at least twice a week - Sunday and Wednesday. They wash every morning and non bath nights. If they need a bath in between, dh showers whoever in the morning. I appreciate this might not work for you though.

There is time in your week to bath or shower them. But you'll have to either ask guests to help or bear with you while you do it. In my experience, friends and family loved helping with bath time. Either by watching one/some in the bath while we dried the other(s) or entertaining the ones waiting or who had been bathed. There is nothing nicer than snuggles with a freshly bathed toddler either.

If you are noticing your toddler smells after just a couple of days, and aren't doing anything significant about it for another 5 days, you are definitely being unreasonable. I'm surprised their childcare hasn't commented on it.

YouMakeMyDreams · 09/01/2016 09:47

You don't prioritise a bath over sleep but really it takes a few minutes to chuck them in the bath wash them and get them out if you don't let them play. 10 minutes from running it to getting them out and dressed. Even make it something you do on the way to bed but they need more than one a week. I'm guessing the two year old is still in nappies and the older child having accidents needs a bath.
If I have friends or family in I will just say to them off to stick the boys in the bath. I prioritise that over them. How often do you bath or shower? Bet it's more than once a week.

Saxons · 09/01/2016 09:47

Just prewarn your relatives on a Wednesday 'oh i need to bath the kids at 7pm but it will only take 10 minutes'

Original poster
Poppybella2015 · 09/01/2016 09:48

No to the person who said am I drinking when relatives are round??? I am busy making them cups of tea, offering biscuits, talking to them etc.

Dh is self employed and works long hours so I do feel like a single parent but with an extra overgrown child to look after as well :( my children are fed and loved and doing very well at school but I am shattered and finding it so hard to fit everything in since my oldest started school. I'm completely wiped out.

OP posts:
Saxons · 09/01/2016 09:48

Don't bother blow drying hair or ask relative to do it.

We never blow dry hair

cansu · 09/01/2016 09:48

Yes you should bath them. Surely you either pop them in while tea is being cooked or someone runs the bath while they are eating. They then get washed and get into bed. I also work full time and whilst I sympathise that it is rushed and hectic, manage to bath my two children.

StealthPolarBear · 09/01/2016 09:48

Fairenuff they sleep 11 hours a night

dementedpixie · 09/01/2016 09:48

They don't get 7-8 hours, they sleep 8pm-7am which is plenty sleep. Not every child needs to be in bed for 7pm (mine never were)

shinynewusername · 09/01/2016 09:49

Put both kids in bath at 7. While their splashing around quickly tidy up upstairs.

Please don't leave a 2 year old unattended in the bath, even with an older sibling. It is not worth the risk.

LittleBearPad · 09/01/2016 09:49

They need a bath more than once a week, especially if they smell.

You and DH are home every night before bedtime yet you can't bath them between you. It takes 5 minutes.

Cut down your socialising and run a bath instead.

TheCatsMeow · 09/01/2016 09:49

Poppy stop making tea etc for relatives. I tell people if they come round to help themselves as I'm busy with my child. Anyone who doesn't understand that is an idiot.