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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not find time to bath my children?

627 replies

Poppybella2015 · 09/01/2016 09:22

Ok they do get a bath on a Sunday morning with bubbles and a hair wash, like I did as a child. The house also gets cleaned on a Sunday. But then life takes over.

Weekdays after school are a combination of clubs (2 a week) friends over, relatives popping round to see the kids, by the time we have had dinner I think oh my god the kids need to go to bed or it will be too late for them! (They currently sleep 8-7 and I have to wake them on a school day they are two and six) the toddler smells a bit cheesy by about Tuesday, the older one could do with another bath as she sometimes wees her pants at school and then sits in them :( my house turns into a tip in the week too as I always get invited to see a relative/go to a toddler group etc and then when toddler naps I flake out in exhaustion as I have an on going sinus infection and toddler wakes me a couple of times a night.

I really want to have a nice clean home, nice clean kids, be in a nice relaxed routine but life just seems to get in the way and make everything rushed.

I'm sure most people are hectic in the week and those that are not how do you do it? Should I be refusing play dates etc? Ignore relatives when they come round and bath the kids instead? Just tell people I'm busy but risk loosing friends??

Help!!

OP posts:
ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 09/01/2016 09:49

Do you work OP? Can the two year old be bathed in the day.

TheBigRedBoat · 09/01/2016 09:50

My 5yo has terrible eczema and nightly baths would be horrific for her. They (5&1) get a bath every Sunday and Wed minimum. If they've gotten muddy or whatever any other day they get a quick shower. A bath doesn't have to be bubbles and half an hour play etc. it can just be a quick dunk and soap but at least they are clean! Also family and friends come round here too, bath time is bath time! Most of the time they will come up to at/watch the kids while I put the tea on, or they put the tea on while I sort the kids.
I have let my house get on top of me and it's awful. Now I do a quick tidy and Hoover every night after the kids go to bed, wash the dishes after breakfast and tea and put a wash on as soon as there's enough for a load.
Clean the bathroom while the kids are in the bath, wash the bath out while they are getting dry.
You'll feel like a different person when you don't have to spend all weekend every weekend cleaning.

StealthPolarBear · 09/01/2016 09:50

Op I don't mean to be critical nut you don't sound like you're coping at all. Is this just now, while you're ill, or in general?
Assuming you don't work, you should be able to do basic stuff during the day with a two year old.
Genuinely concern not criticism.

Fairenuff · 09/01/2016 09:50

Ah I see, sorry I read that wrong. Yes, 11 hours is enough.

Original poster
Poppybella2015 · 09/01/2016 09:50

I only shower 3 times a week at the moment as I'm so tired and busy, Wednesday's Saturday's and Sunday's. I need to sort this out too!!

OP posts:
dontrunwithscissors · 09/01/2016 09:50

We have a big bath/hair wash on a Sunday. Then we 'hose' them down a 2-3 days a week. It def takes more than 10 mins, but I couldn't leave them through the week. We only wash hair once a week. There's no need for more with my DDs. We have very thick hair that doesn't need washing so often and gets very brittle if over washed.

OP, I sympathise with your situation. You're obviously upset about the domestic situation and want to change it. People saying 'stop being lazy' doesn't help. I think you need to set out a routine/timetable and stick to it. Identify times for the basic stuff and be strict about people coming over etc.

formerbabe · 09/01/2016 09:51

No to the person who said am I drinking when relatives are round??? I am busy making them cups of tea, offering biscuits, talking to them

You have young children...relatives can help themselves. I always say to my family when they come over that they can help themselves to tea/coffee/snacks and they don't need to wait for me to offer. You can't play hostess constantly.

MamaLazarou · 09/01/2016 09:51

Just tie her hair up so it doesn't get wet in the bath. Or keep it at a more manageable length so it doesn't take hours to dry.

TurnOffTheTv · 09/01/2016 09:51

Do you work?

Saxons · 09/01/2016 09:51

The trick to a tidy home is owning less! So chucking out/selling half your possessions (clothes, toys, random crap). Then rejigging storage so that the few items you have, have a home. Lastly if everyone tidiesup after themselves as they go along (including children, yourself, DH), it will be much much much easier.

HelloItsMeAgain · 09/01/2016 09:52

If all else fails get up 10 mins earlier and shower/bath in the morning.

knobblyknee · 09/01/2016 09:52

You seriously cant take half an hour out of playing hostess to bath the kids?
Or the relatives cant come into the bathroom and help?

LittleLionMansMummy · 09/01/2016 09:52

Ewww. It sounds like your priorities are wrong op. If I only bathed ds once a week he'd smell awful and be really dirty. He gets 4-5 baths/ showers a week and a hair wash once a week. If we're in a rush but he needs a wash he gets in the shower with me or dh. You need to re-prioritise somewhere or when your dc get older they'll be picked on at school for being smelly.

Scarletforya · 09/01/2016 09:52

Can I just ask, does everyone have hot water on demand? Confused We have an immersion which takes about three hours to heat a shallow bath. It would cost a fortune to use every day.

So we have showers. But baths, everyday? What about work, do people work? Confused

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 09/01/2016 09:52

You could do Friday night. If they went to bed 20 minutes later it wouldn't matter coz that's not a school night. So Friday night, sunday morning and one week day (or morning, could you get up 15 minutes earlier) is plenty.

chocolatemademefat · 09/01/2016 09:52

How often do you bathe or shower. If its not important to you I can see how its not important that you keep them clean. If your two year old has urine on her skin she will smell - as well as feel uncomfortable. Tell your relatives you need help with a bathing routine - if they like to visit the kids what could be nicer than bathing them. If they don't want to help it sounds like they just want a place to go to get them out of the house. Put your children first - its the least they deserve.

You sound a bit overwhelmed by things so make small changes to begin with. Keep the children clean. Keep the beds and clothes clean. Tackle something small every day. Unless you can afford help you don't have time for constant socialising. If YOU notice that the children smell the school will too. The last thing you want is being pulled up for it. At the school my 2DC went to they were very quick to speak to parents about this.

Make changes for your kids - they won't want to be the ones other kids remember for smelling bad.

Minisoksmakehardwork · 09/01/2016 09:53

And it's not a case of prioritising baths over sleep. It's a case of prioritising your children and their welfare over visitors and play dates.

Saxons · 09/01/2016 09:54

Yes tell relatives to help themselves to tea/biscuits as you need to bath kids. Or do bath on a Tuesday or Thursday.

ovenchips · 09/01/2016 09:54

Assuming this is not some weird joke I don't 'get', I cannot really understand from what you have said why you feel there is only one opportunity a week to bathe them.

If you need to bathe them more frequently (and I would say you do) you simply organise your time slightly differently. Confused

formerbabe · 09/01/2016 09:54

But baths, everyday? What about work, do people work

I used to work full time and I had a toddler...I still bathed him everyday. Once you have a routine...its no hassle.

TheCatsMeow · 09/01/2016 09:55

Scarlet I have hot water on demand, I think most people do

By the way poppy I meant if your relatives were mean about it they were idiots! Just read it back and it looks like I'm calling you an idiot which I didn't meanBlush

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 09/01/2016 09:55

I have hot water on demand yes. No point having cold water only is there!
If you absolutely have to, then put the immersion on a timer, but really the water should always be hot.

Witchend · 09/01/2016 09:55

If you have a school aged child who regularly smells of urine it could be raised at school as a sign of neglect.

If they've we themselves at School, pop them in the bath as soon as home. They must get sore. Otherwise aim for a bath every other day. Children generally enjoy it, and it's a good way of relaxing and calming down before bed.

Frazzled2207 · 09/01/2016 09:56

Ok if relatives turn up on a wednesday you either let them amuse themselves or get them to help with bathtime.
As for your long haired daughter, plat her hair when damp and it will be lovely waves by morning. Though she wouldn't necessarily need it washed every time she has a bath.

HPsauciness · 09/01/2016 09:56

You do sound exhausted, and for that I totally sympathise, but I think you know now after this thread you have got this wrong! I also think you knew that as well as you posted about it.

I wonder if you are exhausted as you are trying to fit too many things in. Perhaps those playdates or relatives visiting could come once every two weeks or even less. Perhaps you should drop a club or two, I've done this recently and my children are happier for having fewer things to do and more time to potter.

Friendships/relatives visiting won't die off if you do the things slightly less frequently. My children have friends from school over once or twice a term as that's what I can manage working f/t.

Also, I would definitely proceed with my own routine and the children's routine when others are visiting- if it is very close family, they could help with the 2 year old, if it isn't then a very quick bath is fine and children downstairs in pyjamas.

You seem very driven by not disappointing all these other people and doing these playdates/clubs, but all of those are secondary to having clean bodies and nice clean clothes.

Why do you find it so hard to say to your visitors 'it's nearly bed time now, I'm just popping the children in the bath'?

This is easily fixable with a small adjustment in your attitude to put them and you and your exhaustion levels first.