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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not find time to bath my children?

627 replies

Poppybella2015 · 09/01/2016 09:22

Ok they do get a bath on a Sunday morning with bubbles and a hair wash, like I did as a child. The house also gets cleaned on a Sunday. But then life takes over.

Weekdays after school are a combination of clubs (2 a week) friends over, relatives popping round to see the kids, by the time we have had dinner I think oh my god the kids need to go to bed or it will be too late for them! (They currently sleep 8-7 and I have to wake them on a school day they are two and six) the toddler smells a bit cheesy by about Tuesday, the older one could do with another bath as she sometimes wees her pants at school and then sits in them :( my house turns into a tip in the week too as I always get invited to see a relative/go to a toddler group etc and then when toddler naps I flake out in exhaustion as I have an on going sinus infection and toddler wakes me a couple of times a night.

I really want to have a nice clean home, nice clean kids, be in a nice relaxed routine but life just seems to get in the way and make everything rushed.

I'm sure most people are hectic in the week and those that are not how do you do it? Should I be refusing play dates etc? Ignore relatives when they come round and bath the kids instead? Just tell people I'm busy but risk loosing friends??

Help!!

OP posts:
Alisvolatpropiis · 09/01/2016 09:37

No you don't prioritise bath over sleep, you ask your visiting relatives to come earlier or not at all!

dementedpixie · 09/01/2016 09:38

They don't need a daily bath but 2 or 3 times a week is the minimum they should get. Tell visitors to go earlier on a washing night or give them a shower if you have one as they are faster.

megletthesecond · 09/01/2016 09:38

Do you have a shower? I've showered mine at least every other day since they were toddlers. I can get a child in, wet, shampooed and washed and out in under 5 mins. We have a production line going.

GiantYorkiePud · 09/01/2016 09:38

I do wonder why you can't tidy up and stuff while ppl are there if it's family and close friends. We always do. Let family bath them, they'll love it.
I always sort all the washing out and give the rest of the bathroom a clean whole they're playing in the bath too.
Maybe you just need to learn to multitask?

MamaLazarou · 09/01/2016 09:39

"Are you drinking with friends and relatives when they come round?"

Steady on! That's a bit of a leap.

StealthPolarBear · 09/01/2016 09:39

Agree if your relatives are close enough to just pop over then they're close enough to just fit in with your routine

firefly78 · 09/01/2016 09:39

if family came round i wouldn't let this interfere with bedtime routine. baths only need to take a few minutes.

FannyFifer · 09/01/2016 09:39

Why can they not have a quick shower then into pjs, you have a husband can you not take turns?

You think having smelly children is acceptable?

People will already be talking about them. You need to get this sorted out.

TurnOffTheTv · 09/01/2016 09:39

If they are relatives surely they won't mind if you go upstairs and bathe them for 10 mins? Why are they there for so long? Do you have clubs every night?

MissDallas · 09/01/2016 09:39

Yuck! Lazy and neglectful. I leave the house at 7am, get home at 7.30 pm and still have time to bath the kids and cook a meal. It doesn't take much. My kids go straight in the bath when they get home whilst I am cooking, the eat dinner in their PJ's. Not ideal, but I want them to eat a proper meal, go to bed on time and be clean.

It doesn't take much. You should be ashamed, tbh.

DeAtHnOtE · 09/01/2016 09:40

Food, sleep and cleanliness are the three most important things you can do for your child excluding loving them (which I assume you do). Those three things must come first before anything and anyone else.

Dinobab · 09/01/2016 09:40

Bath the kids when relatives are over? It only take 10 minutes and if they get offended that you're not talking to them for 10 minutes because you're bathing your kids then they're weird and I wouldn't worry about there opinion.

Salunabaluna · 09/01/2016 09:40

Seriously? Yes of course you should wash your children more frequently. Priorotise, make time and get on with it.

ImogenTubbs · 09/01/2016 09:41

Can't relatives help with bathtime? We have visitors quite often too, and on bath nights (generally every other night, unless they have got particularly mucky) I just say, 'lovely, bathtime is at 7, come before then and join in the fun!'

mommy2ash · 09/01/2016 09:41

I moved house and no longer have a bath only a shower and my dd hates showers so it is a hassle getting her onto it. She has her weekly bath at my moms when I'm working and two showers a week. It's not fair to allow a child to smell cheesy or of wee. I don't normally join on the paranoia bandwagon but these could be factors that would lead to the school thinking there is a problem at home. Basic needs aren't being met

Ham69 · 09/01/2016 09:42

I admire your honesty, OP. I think there are more people that do this than let on. They're at the age at the moment where they don't sweat but you will definitely need to reconsider your routine in the not too distant future.
I bath my 2dc every Sunday and wash their hair and go through it with a nitcomb. I then squeeze in a 10 min bath 2 evening in the week. It really doesn't take long. I'm a bit mean and don't allow toys in the bath in the week, literally in, a quick lather up and out. Find a night midweek where you can do this, it's easier to do than the thought of it.
And well done for a clean house on a Sunday, that's often more than I manage! Your DC are still very young, it will get easier.

formerbabe · 09/01/2016 09:42

I bath my dc every night. We also do after school activities and occasionally have a relative over.

There really is time. On activity nights...have dinner ready in the slow cooker. ..serve it up to them as soon as you get home. While they are eating, you run the bath. After tea, ten minutes in bath...It doesn't take long.

If I have a relative over and my dc need a bath, I'll leave them in the kitchen with a cuppa and tell them I'm going to bath the kids and ill be back in ten mins.

You are making this into a very big deal...and a bath once a week is really not ok.

MrsJayy · 09/01/2016 09:42

Stop making excuses and bath your children sunday and wednesday at least nobody is that busy they cant wash theirkids are you only washing once a week

LumpySpaceCow · 09/01/2016 09:42

Firstly, are you actually being serious in that your child wees their pants yet you don't wash them? Your toddler smells cheesy? Is this a joke? If not then yes, YABU. A wash takes minutes, a shower a few more.

My 1 year old has a bath most nights as she enjoys them (mostly in the sink to save my back!), my 6 year old has a bath a couple of times a week with her sister and then a wash most if not every day.

Sirzy · 09/01/2016 09:42

Do you not have a shower?

Do you manage to wash yourself?

You need to change your routine to give 10 minutes for washing your children!

Cerseirys · 09/01/2016 09:42

You don't have to fill the tub and give them a bath bath every night. If I did that with DS it would take ages! Just give them a quick shower. It's what I do for him every night - takes 5 mins, and surely you could spare that time?

FlatOnTheHill · 09/01/2016 09:43

OP how often to you bath or shower ?

TheCatsMeow · 09/01/2016 09:43

It doesn't need to be every night like some are saying Confused but twice a week would be fine OP

Saxons · 09/01/2016 09:43

We aren't OCD about cleanliness/tidiness but I send my 4/8 year olds off to shower. They do it on their own and then get into pJ's. It takes no effort on my part.

The trick to a tidy home is owning less! So chucking out/selling half your possessions (clothes, toys, random crap). Then rejigging storage so that the few items you have, have a home. Lastly if everyone tidiesup after themselves as they go along (including children, yourself, DH), it will be much much much easier.

RNBrie · 09/01/2016 09:44

We get lots of midweek visitors as well. I get them to bath the kids. The routine doesn't change just cause family have come to see us. Mine are 4 and 18mo so young enough to be bathed by my mum.