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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not find time to bath my children?

627 replies

Poppybella2015 · 09/01/2016 09:22

Ok they do get a bath on a Sunday morning with bubbles and a hair wash, like I did as a child. The house also gets cleaned on a Sunday. But then life takes over.

Weekdays after school are a combination of clubs (2 a week) friends over, relatives popping round to see the kids, by the time we have had dinner I think oh my god the kids need to go to bed or it will be too late for them! (They currently sleep 8-7 and I have to wake them on a school day they are two and six) the toddler smells a bit cheesy by about Tuesday, the older one could do with another bath as she sometimes wees her pants at school and then sits in them :( my house turns into a tip in the week too as I always get invited to see a relative/go to a toddler group etc and then when toddler naps I flake out in exhaustion as I have an on going sinus infection and toddler wakes me a couple of times a night.

I really want to have a nice clean home, nice clean kids, be in a nice relaxed routine but life just seems to get in the way and make everything rushed.

I'm sure most people are hectic in the week and those that are not how do you do it? Should I be refusing play dates etc? Ignore relatives when they come round and bath the kids instead? Just tell people I'm busy but risk loosing friends??

Help!!

OP posts:
Minisoksmakehardwork · 09/01/2016 09:56

I'd not worry about your own showering routine as much as the kids. I suffer with eczema so only shower every other day, unless I get really sweaty. Otherwise it's a really good wash morning and night. I just rotate it round rather than showering on specific days.

ThoughtfulPenny · 09/01/2016 09:56

My daughters hair gets plaited after a bath if I don't have time to dry it, keeps it tidy and stops having wet hair on the back of her pjs.
Even if relatives are visiting, I'd just announce "bath time, come on kids" and get on with it. They can either help or entertain themselves.

LittleBearPad · 09/01/2016 09:57

Scarlet what is heating the water in your showers? Most people have hot water on demand either from a hotwater tank or a combi boiler these days don't they?

MrsJayy · 09/01/2016 09:58

Why dont you shower your eldest takes 5 minutes you as a pp said dont seem to be coping with life slow down and cut back on the sociallife

TheNumberfaker · 09/01/2016 09:59

Ignore anyone who says you need to bath them daily!

My DDs have 2/3 baths or showers a week. Sometimes with me in the morning.

Perhaps you could ask relatives to entertain themselves for 20 mins whilst you do a quick shower/bath on Wednesdays. Or they could help if appropriate?

HPsauciness · 09/01/2016 10:00

I also meant to say, OP, I wouldn't personally bathe a child with eczema every day (take the advice of the dr though)- we used to go for about 3 times a week. I would always give a child a wash though if they have wet themselves or need to be cleaner in the bottom area- very common. It doesn't even have to be a whole bath, just stand in the shower and give them a 2 second scrub down. Otherwise they really will smell.

gamerchick · 09/01/2016 10:02

If you have a shower it takes a couple of minutes to wash a bairn down first thing in the morning. Mine don't get baths much, a shower before school does.

I agree that it doesn't sound as if you're coping. If it's relatives coming round then surely they won't mind pitching in with housework or bath time.

AnnaT45 · 09/01/2016 10:03

Can you not get your relatives to help out? Say oh would you mind doing bath time tonight? Then you can have 15 minutes to do some tidying up?
Also get relatives to make their own tea!
You need to clean them more if they smell I appreciate time is hard but surely you could have a shower with two year old in the day?

OldWomanWhoLivesInATinyShoe · 09/01/2016 10:03

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Esmeismyhero · 09/01/2016 10:03

My dc have very sensitive skin and I bath them every other night. That's a big bubble bath for 30 mins or so. I agree with other posters, tell relatives etc to leave earlier and make some more time to bath your dc.

MrsJayy · 09/01/2016 10:03

Mine were not bathed every day and i used to alternate nights and by the time dc1 was 7 they preferred a shower so its quicker.

VegetablEsoup · 09/01/2016 10:04

yabu
I agree with most posters here: yhe dc's most basic needs are not being met at the moment.
they need a daily wash, clean clothes and a bath or shower at least every other day, especially after clubs when they have been active.

can your dh take over more in the household? bath his children half the time?

Sallystyle · 09/01/2016 10:05

My younger ones have a bath twice a week. More if they get extra dirty but usually get away with a face wash in-between.

Peeing pants or being mucky would require an extra bath or shower though for sure, that would be my top priority over socialising.

This isn't really hard to work out. Are you suffering with depression at all?

RumAppleGinger · 09/01/2016 10:05

Ok how about you add an additional bath next week. Decide now which day it will be on. Things only become routine if you impliment them and stick to it.

On that day do a casserole or something in the slow cooker if you have one. Put it on before you go to pick the kids/DH up, that means dinner is ready when you get home and you don't have to spend time cooking.

If your relatives are close enough to just pop round they are close enough to fit in with whatever is going on in your house. Let them bathe the children if they want to, MIL throws quiet the bath time tea party and the DCs thinks it's a bit of a treat to have someone else do it.

merrymouse · 09/01/2016 10:05

You don't need to wash hair every time your children have a bath. Yes children with eczema may be irritated by daily baths, but they still need to be kept clean, particularly if they are having accidents during the day.

OP, I think you know that you should be able to find 20 minutes a few times a week to make sure your children are clean and you know that they shouldn't smell.

You don't sound as though you are coping. Any 'friend' you have who doesn't like you spending time looking after your children is not a friend and you would be well rid of them.

Amummyatlast · 09/01/2016 10:06

Keeping your children clean has to take priority over the other stuff. Surely most visitors will understand that you need to follow a routine. As others have said, it doesn't take more than 10 minutes. I brush DD's teeth and get her pjs and nappy out while the bath runs, plonk her in, scrub her back, face, etc., wash her hair, and then it out for cuddles and a story.

Sallystyle · 09/01/2016 10:06

No, my younger ones do not need to be washed every day.

They don't sweat and they don't get very dirty on a regular basis.

Not bathing a child who has wet itself or is muddy is very wrong, but other than that there is no need for daily washes.

shinynewusername · 09/01/2016 10:07

Baths are tiring because DC never want to get out again, so you're either an evil killjoy or you die of exhaustion on the bathmat while they splash on.

As PPs have said, a shower is much faster or you could even do what we used to do in Oz, where many houses don't have baths, and fill a large container with water (in the bath/shower) and dip the 2 yo in and out. Takes a couple of minutes.

PrimalLass · 09/01/2016 10:07

please make a schedule to make sure they are in bed by 7pm.

My children have never been in bed by 7, not even when they were babies.

shazzarooney99 · 09/01/2016 10:08

The child that wets i would be certainly making sure she is washed everyday otherwise she will be smelling of stale urine, otherwise 2 or 3 baths or showers a week is fine.

MrsJayy · 09/01/2016 10:09

If you know your 6yrold is wet and smelly her classmates will start to notice and they will start to tease her just bath the girl her personal hygene is more important than a playdate or aunty visiting

Mislou · 09/01/2016 10:09

I think once a week bath is fine so long as you give them a good wash before bed. I don't bath my daughter during the week as between 6 and 7pm I never know exactly when I'm going to have to go pick up my partner from the station.I used to feel bad about it but know it's not such a big deal in the whole scheme of things.

merrymouse · 09/01/2016 10:10

Not advocating bathing a child despite eczema btw, just that children with eczema can be kept clean without daily baths - they certainly shouldn't smell.

Original poster
Poppybella2015 · 09/01/2016 10:10

I tried showers before but it made their eczema worse. I will go with the shallow bath with no toys for week nights. I must be stupid as I didn't think of a quick in and out bath. Mine always take 30 mins plus then hair drying, I always wondered how people did it so quick. I feel so bad :( I was only bathed once a week as a child and twice a week as a teenager with no washes in between, I was never taught that I needed to wash Shock I suspect my mum suffered from depression so didn't teach me any life skills. Believe it or not I'm a highly educated woman to masters level but do not have any life skills due to my upbringing :(

OP posts:
FlatOnTheHill · 09/01/2016 10:10

OP do you work full time ? Or are you sahm?

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