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Original poster

To not find time to bath my children?

627 replies

Poppybella2015 · 09/01/2016 09:22

Ok they do get a bath on a Sunday morning with bubbles and a hair wash, like I did as a child. The house also gets cleaned on a Sunday. But then life takes over.

Weekdays after school are a combination of clubs (2 a week) friends over, relatives popping round to see the kids, by the time we have had dinner I think oh my god the kids need to go to bed or it will be too late for them! (They currently sleep 8-7 and I have to wake them on a school day they are two and six) the toddler smells a bit cheesy by about Tuesday, the older one could do with another bath as she sometimes wees her pants at school and then sits in them :( my house turns into a tip in the week too as I always get invited to see a relative/go to a toddler group etc and then when toddler naps I flake out in exhaustion as I have an on going sinus infection and toddler wakes me a couple of times a night.

I really want to have a nice clean home, nice clean kids, be in a nice relaxed routine but life just seems to get in the way and make everything rushed.

I'm sure most people are hectic in the week and those that are not how do you do it? Should I be refusing play dates etc? Ignore relatives when they come round and bath the kids instead? Just tell people I'm busy but risk loosing friends??

Help!!

OP posts:
GiantYorkiePud · 09/01/2016 10:11

For those with the hot water questions: in't olden days before central heating folk had immersion heaters. No hot water on demand. You switch it in before you need hot water, it heats up then you use it. If you kept it switched on it'd cost a fortune as it'd be constantly heating up as it cooled.
My sister has one as her house only has electric wall heaters, some flats and lots of old ppl have them. My elderly neighbours used to only have electric, no gas supply. They had wall heaters and immersion heater. They'd live their 80 years and never gotten gas connection.

BrandNewAndImproved · 09/01/2016 10:11

I have an emersion heater and still manage to bathe me and dc everynight scarlet I also manage to work how would a bath stop that? Confused What a weird post.

If this is genuine op you need to sort it out. I would run a shallow bath and plonk them both in it at the same time, wash the two year old and get her/him out and then get the six year old out. I wouldn't wash hair more then once a week either.

Have you got/had problems with depressionop, not washing regularly is a common symptom. If it's just tiredness then perhaps your dh can have the car a few times a week so you don't have to pick him up. Slow cookers are great for not having to cook dinner at an awkward time, joints of meat, jacket potatoes ect are great even if you don't like stewy mush.

If I was you I would do an early tea for the dc get them fed bathed and in pyjamas by half 6 and in bed for 7. As for eczema there's lots of research saying a ten minute bath with no soap actually helps.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 09/01/2016 10:11

I think in your head baths are hour-long playing extravaganzas. They really don't have to be.

Get them to stand in the bath and hose them down with the showerhead, or plonk them in a small amount of water. In, flannel or sponge, then out. 10 mins tops.

Either get your relatives to help or leave them downstairs with a firm, cheery 'bath time now'

FayKorgasm · 09/01/2016 10:11

Could you get a baby bath they can stand up in and wash them down with a flannel each night? No hair drying quick and uses less water.

Psychmumma · 09/01/2016 10:12

A strip wash before bed- fill up the sink, stand them naked on a towel whilst they are cleaning their teeth and use either just your hands with some mild / hypoallergenic / skin sensitive wash whatever, clean them down, wash them off with a bit of clean water, and this can be all done in less time than it takes for them to finish their teeth.
Agree it can be tiring but surely 2 minutes before bed isn't unachievable?
With regards to you house, is there family or friends who could look after you dc for a few hours over the weekend, so you and dh can attack the worse of it? Then hopefully after that it would just be a case of maintenance. Baby wipes clean up all manner of dirt from most surfaces. Bleach down the toilet after you've been, wipe down the sink as you're cleaning your teeth, Hoover as you're boiling the kettle etc are all little things you can do to help keep the housework manageable.
Good luck and don't be disheartened. The fact you've asked for advice suggests that you want to see a change in your lives and am sure you'll make it happen!

MrsJayy · 09/01/2016 10:12

I used to do this if we were on holiday and no bath block the shower plug and let the toddler splash about a quick soap up and they are done

LittleLionMansMummy · 09/01/2016 10:14

Children with eczema still need baths, you just don't use products. Ds has eczema and when he has a flare up we alternate baths with just water and baths where he gets a mild soap wash.

Scarlet - our hot water is on a timer so comes on for an hour in the morning and 3 hours in the evening. We also both work full time. Ds still gets regular baths. He's also just started school so we have homework to factor in.

ManneryTowers · 09/01/2016 10:14

Would you let yourself go unwashed for a week if you'd peed your pants and sat in it? I don't bath DS every single night, but every other day at a minimum.

Your friends/relatives should accept "sorry no visits tonight it's bath and chores night". Then maybe on that day get them to bed a little earlier too?

But a big Flowers for you as you do sound shattered X

StitchesInTime · 09/01/2016 10:14

You need to find time to bathe your children if they're getting smelly.

It doesn't have to take long. Mid week baths are usually very short here - keep to shallow baths and few toys, and the DC can be in, scrubbed, hair washed, and out in under 5 mins if it's getting late.

I'd second suggestions to wash them before dinner / while dinner is cooking (provided you can leave the dinner alone while you supervise the bath), or to get visitors involved.

VegetablEsoup · 09/01/2016 10:15

op
good for you for coming on here and taking advice on board!
big step in the right direction. good luck!

MrsDeVere · 09/01/2016 10:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TiredMummy2015 · 09/01/2016 10:16

Just to add that it's a complete fallacy that those with eczema cannot or should not wash too often. My son had awful eczema that bled and we saw one of the UKs top dermatologists who actually had us bathing him twice each day! The important thing is that you must use some form of moisturiser after each bath.

shinynewusername · 09/01/2016 10:16

OP, it is hard when you don't have a strong parenting model to follow. Don't feel bad - you have realised there is a problem and you are going to address it. That's all anyone can ask.

Definitely don't wash hair every time. Before puberty, once a week is fine for most kids unless they have tipped their supper over their heads Smile

Teenagecrisisagain · 09/01/2016 10:16

We bath our 4 dcs every night. It doesn't take long at all !!

3 younger ones go in together and then after them dd 1 has a bath or shower (she's older but need one of us to be within earshot in case she's ill as has health issues)

At the weekends they have longer 'play baths' but need bathing every day during the week. While bath is running I get pjs, nappy etc all ready and then get them all changed in the bedroom nearest the bathroom. It's literally a case of put them all in , wash them and get them out but they do need it each day.

RoastChickenDinner · 09/01/2016 10:17

Poppy, I have only read the start and end of this thread, but after reading your last post my heart goes out to you. You are not stupid, you are just trying your best. Sometimes things go awry, but you've got a plan now, so don't feel bad, look forward not back, xxxx.

PS Get the relatives to do the bath if you can!

minipie · 09/01/2016 10:18

It does sound like you have too much going on. You need more time - for yourself as well as to bathe the DCs.

When does homework/reading with the 6 yr old get done?

That means some of the clubs, playdates, relative visits have to go. Or the playdates and visits have to be shorter, say finished by 5pm, or the visitor has to help with bath and tidying. You just don't have the time on weekday afternoons to be making cups of tea and chatting for ages. Longer visits can happen at weekends.

Is there any way DH can get himself back from work? Bicycle maybe?

Asskicker · 09/01/2016 10:18

Dd has long hair, it's get washed twice a week. On a Sunday and on a Wednesday. On Wednesday its straight after her after school
Club (sport) . Her hair is thick. It's dry by 7.30 ish.

They need bathing more than once a week. So do it as soon as you get in.

Wash her hair on weekends. Unless it gets greasy, in which case do it when you don't have an after school club. As soon as you get in.

MrsJayy · 09/01/2016 10:18

Yeah midweek baths were usually just functional sunday baths were for the bubbles and playing but if we were busy during the week it was in and out.

Sirzy · 09/01/2016 10:18

A quick shower takes 5 mins, get a shower cap to keep your daughters hair dry if you need.

Save baths for once a week or when you have time and use the shower otherwise!

christinarossetti · 09/01/2016 10:18

If both you and your dh are there, one of you sort dinner out and the other bath the children or have bath running while they're eating and stick them straight in afterwards.

Relatives visiting a home with young children surely wouldn't object to them being taken for a bath, would they?

Pooka · 09/01/2016 10:20

Mine have a bath every night.

You pick your husband up on the way back from clubs? Then one of you can bathe the kids while the other cooks dinner.

I run bath at 6.30pm. Dd has first bath. Then the younger 2 hop in together at about 6.45 for max 10 minutes. Quick wash. Dry. Pyjamas. Reading by 7pm. Youngest asleep by 7.45, after stories.

If your toddler is smelling to you, then he will be to others. If your older DC is wetting herself, she will begin to smell. It's not nice for them.

Asskicker · 09/01/2016 10:21

Believe it or not I'm a highly educated woman to masters level but do not have any life skills due to my upbringing :(

dh was only bathed once a week. He knows children need bathing more often than that. He was dragged up. But still can understand kids have basic needs even though his were not met.

I am sorry you had it rough, please break cycle and don't leave your kids in the same situation when they are adults.

Scarletforya · 09/01/2016 10:21

BrandNewAndImproved it's not weird. What I'm wondering is when do you switch on the immersion if you're at work?

Also, are the electricity bills high?

What time do you bath them?

We have showers as I said as the bath thing is just too expensive. Also dd has waist length hair and gets ear infections so I'm nervous about water getting in her ear.

Just trying to work out what other people do! Do people wash kids long hair every day?

Pidapie · 09/01/2016 10:21

I bathe my son as part of bedtime routine, and see it as every other night is minimum!

bakeoffcake · 09/01/2016 10:23

It's fantastic that you're asked for advice on hereSmile

A quick, shallow bath a few times a week sounds a good plan. If DD wets herself and you say she often sits in it(school should be made aware if this) please make sure she has a bath that night, she really will get sore of she doesn't wash it off and she will start to smell.