To wish my birthday was not today

[Paleninteresting]

I'm in my late 30s and my birthday is today. I have a lifetime of having joint Christmas/birthday presents, having early or late 'treats' not on the actual day and presents which have obviously been picked up in a rush in the post Christmas sales.

I know it's the thought that counts but the thought seems lacking in care or any personal knowledge of things I like, eg products not tested on animals.
If I get one more set of toiletries from the Boots sale today I may scream.

So I have cancelled my birthday from now on, I am serious. Having lack of care reinforced each year, when I hope each time for the 6th of January to be different is now demoralising.
AIBU?

My dd had hers last weekend, dhs is next week and mines the week after... We feel your pain

We gave DD a saint's name as a middle name with relevance to August so she could celebrate then when she's older if she wants to. Bet it never happens though! Actually baptising her Catholic might have helped...

My DD and my GDs Birthdays are in December and my Birthday sometimes falls on Mothers Day, so I appreciate how you feel.

Can you ask for cash, or vouchers? If you like handbags, there's some absolute bargains about.

My dd's is Boxing Day. I have always made it clear to everyone that they are separate entities. Joint birthday/Christmases are awful.

Yup, mine's this week as well so also feel your pain. No-one ever wants to celebrate; they're either skint, on a diet, not drinking or all three. Also, because a lot of people haven't got round to putting dates in new diarys then you get forgotten as well.

BaBa, that's painful to have so many together. Thank you for the solidarity.

Holiday, good forward thinking and I'm sure as a parent you never combine Christmas with birthdays.

I have had a couple of nice things but I had to pick them. I'm quite a predictable person and should therefore be straightforward to buy/ arrange something for, if the thought and planning (and not much money) was put into it.

There is no excuse for this. I have several family members who have birthdays very near Christmas or early January. From us, they each receive a well thought out gift (or something they've asked for), a nice birthday card and the present is wrapped in birthday paper. I also phone or message them on the day if I'm not going to see them.

I suppose it helps that we don't do Christmas gifts for the adults but only the children (we are a large family!). However all it takes is a little forethought and empathy. Why should someone miss out because of when they were born?

Oh no, my baby is due next week. We were thinking of celebrating on the half birthday in June to avoid these emotions. Would this be an option/odd/better for you?

DH's is next week and I'm sure he would feel your pain. Not helped by it being a Monday this year. I'm taking him away for a night as a treat and buying him some gin!

That's awful OP.

DHs birthday is 2nd Jan and he always gets separate cards and pressies from everyone and we try to do something specially for his birthday - though unfortunately most years it is the first day back at work.

I have two nephews and another family member with birthdays in December and we always treat them as separate entries.

I think it is just downright mean of people not to.

Is there anyway you can retaliate with the worst offenders? E.g. if their birthday is close to Easter then give them an Easter egg and say you assumed it would be OK to give a joint present.

I have a DC with a birthday today and everyone has always separated the two things. I think most people are quite careful about this sort of thing.

Are you sure that the issue isn't just that you are an adult, and people are generally less invested in adult birthdays? I only get birthday presents from very close family - DP, his parents and sister, and my late uncle used to send a bottle of wine. So no-one who would be buying at the Boots gift set sort of level. If your social circle/wider family have a tradition of buying for adults, is it not just token gifts anyway? Or do other adults get more thoughtful presents?

Happy birthday. Please accept these virtual gifts:

I promise that none of these have come from the remaindered section of Boots!

Same here OP. My birthday was earlier in the week.

I think that when your birthday is in the year really influences how you feel about birthdays generally. Mine is very early January and I really hate it. Everyone is fed up with celebrating/dieting/dry January.

My DM's attitude is that her birthdays are really brilliant because hers is in early summer.

I think that birthdays should be celebrated on a rolling 11 month cycle so that we get to experience birthdays at different times of the year.

Absolutely, I wouldn't bother with their birthdays or I'd inflict joint Easter/Valentine's/Halloween presents on them.

And cost is no excuse because I'd just put aside the money I would have spent at any other time of year and save it.

A wee fuss on the actual day and something which shows this is a special day for me, is what I would like. ON THE DAY, not before, not after and not what was available in a rush.
Yy Shaffron
What makes it worse is that I plan and scheme other people's birthdays months in advance.

ds1 birthday is boxing day he likes it as we always stay with family and everybody makes a fuss of him my birthday is november but i,m 42 now and i,m really not bothered about birthdays anymore i got a couple of cards for my last birthday and £20 off my parents.

That's rubbish OP and there's no excuse for it. Happy Birthday though. Next year it'll fall on a Friday so book yourself a nice weekend treat somewhere.

My DD has her b'day tomorrow, she's too young to realise it's a crap time to have a birthday and is super excited. I do fear that in the future she'll feel the same as you but we'll always make a fuss and make it special for her.

Thank you Gnome they are lovely.
Panda, yep I'm with you on what you say but the Boots products were from family. Late presents are the the post from friends so they are nice to look forward too.

Happy birthday. Have some and

I'm so sorry, it must be horrible for people not to put any thought into your birthday. DDs is 23rd Dec and I was determined this wouldn't happen to her, we've made it very clear that she wasn't to receive joint anything and we always do something that she wants to do on the actual day.

Could you have an adult rant to family/friends? Tell them you've cancelled your Bday and when they ask why, tell them the truth. That just might do the trick

Same here mines on 16th no ones been paid- always rubbish because everyones skint, staying in, Jan blues.

You could always celebrate a half birthday. I have a friend who does because her birthday is the 28th December. So we always have a birthday party for her at the end of May.

As a child the joint presents thing was regular, so a plea to all parents please do not do this.
Having to have celebrations in winter as a child is bad enough.
Yes I am scarred by this and probably nothing short of unicorns and bluebirds will make it right. Hence I've cancelled it and will never be disappointed again.😀

Pale, my friend's b'day is 5th Jan - she moved to South Africa so now has a summer b'day. Is this an option?

Trotter, that's genius.

I feel you, it's my birthday tomorrow. I totally ignore it now.

It's without a doubt the worse time to have a birthday. At least with xmas day/boxing day/ new years day babies everyone is in a party mood.

One week after NYE everyone is on a diet, not drinking alcohol, broke, sick of social commitments etc. And I am no different. URGH.

But happy birthday!

My friend's daughter was born on Xmas day so they always celebrate her half-birthday as her real birthday. This is when she has her party and gets gifts from her friends and family. I think it's lovely