To wish my birthday was not today

[Paleninteresting]

I'm in my late 30s and my birthday is today. I have a lifetime of having joint Christmas/birthday presents, having early or late 'treats' not on the actual day and presents which have obviously been picked up in a rush in the post Christmas sales.

I know it's the thought that counts but the thought seems lacking in care or any personal knowledge of things I like, eg products not tested on animals.
If I get one more set of toiletries from the Boots sale today I may scream.

So I have cancelled my birthday from now on, I am serious. Having lack of care reinforced each year, when I hope each time for the 6th of January to be different is now demoralising.
AIBU?

We celebrate DD's birthday on her birthday - Boxing Day. She gets a birthday present from us as parents on the day. (If we have been organized, she even gets a card!).

Most people manage to get separate presents.

We fall down on parties for friends. None last year (shit year admittedly) but will be doing it this year (she'd wanted an outdoor activity that was not a great idea in Jan, and we never got to organize it once weather improved until weather disimproved again).

I am so over my birthday now, it's actually on the first of January. Ugh. New Years friggin day.
As previously said, everyone's either skint, not drinking, dieting or being bloody miserable. I hate it. Ok so if there's something going on on New Year's Eve then I can join in, but people who say " wow, your birthday is New Year's Day? Fantastic!" Need a punch.
My Dh birthday is 15th December, MUCH better, people are getting ready for Xmas, they're all jolly and up for a party.
I hate it, hate it, hate it. Thankfully at 46 I'm past caring enough now. But I feel your pain, I really do!

Cleaty I'm in your club as well, same day!

We should start the 'crap day for a birthday club' .

Alternatively, could we make Christmas a Bi-Annual event. Saves money, MiL could only lay on emotional blackmail every other year, it would really then become something to look forward to and a novelty. Hmm .... goes away to work on theory

Mines today as well-i feel your pain!
Will always remember going back to school after the Xmas hols either on my bday or the day after
No one remembered it!
On the plus side it's my sisters as well, we're not twins, born 4 years apart so it's an in joke about how many cards and presents we will get each year!

Happy Birthday Paleninteresting!

This thread is depressing. I had a little girl in the 4th. What can I do to make her birthday better in the future?

The thing that cant be changed about a birthday is the date it falls on.

I don’t think that a late December/early January birthday people have the monopoly on crap birthdays. I think that something similar happens for people whose birthdays fall on for example the anniversary of a sad event eg death of a relative or a day of national mourning.

It doesn’t really matter if someone distant says or thinks ‘I cant ever celebrate on this day as I feel sad’. It is much more hurtful if that is a close relative or friend. It is an annual rejection. The person doing it doesn’t mean to be hurtful. They probably don’t see that they are doing this every year to the same person.

The late December/early January thing is similar. Every year people will forget, not want to celebrate, merge celebrations/presents. It is the inevitability of this which is dispiriting.

I think the only thing to do to help avoid the annual rejection whether it is a 'sad' day or just the 'wrong' time of year is to regularly remind the people (and yourself) that getting this wrong year after year is hurtful. On the whole people dont mean to be hurtful, they/we can all be just a bit too wrapped up in them/ourselves sometimes.

DD has a January birthday, and benefits from the sales!

I am guilty of shopping the Boots sale but only for party bags - this year the girls will receive Soap and Glory crackers. I've checked them carefully and there is nothing Christmassy on them. Phew.

Her main gift was actually bought in the Hollister sale at 11am Christmas morning

My son's birthday is in February but this year he wanted a PS4, so we had to tell him that it was his birthday and Christmas present as it's too much money to spend. Having said this, I feel what you are saying and I think it's really sad that people don't bother to acknowledge your birthday as a separate occasion.

shovetheholly separate birthday party in Jan sounds like a good idea to me. Maybe even in Feb. That should force people to think of it as a separate occasion.

Happy Birthday!!

It is also my DS birthday today. I always insist that he has a 'party' of sorts. Just heading out shortly for dinner with family.

It does sick having it so close to Xmas, and people do forget. But don't let them!

DSS has his birthday on Xmas eve, so has his 'queens birthday' on June 24. :)

Happy birthday! I'm sorry to hear people have been a thoughtless. I have a close family member's birthday in a few days and we will be giving her separate presents and having an evening out. There's no excuse for the rubbish joint birthday/xmas things. Your birthday is the same day every year, so people should plan for it. They could always delay their diets or dryathlon for a few days.

Happy birthday Pale :)
My birthday is today also, I rarely get to celebrate it much as always working. I would like to salute my OH as he has put a lot of effort into finding me some super things - I had something I wanted, something to make me laugh and something practical. I also have cake - I'd send you some but it would go off in the post.
I like the idea of an 'official' birthday :)

Mine's in June, but I'm an adult and i don't really care if I get cards and presents - it's just another day really but i accept that others don't feel the same. My bils birthday is 2 days after mine and he is slightly older but he gets massively excited about his.

Yes, yes, yes op!!! I feel your pain. Last year I decided I was absolutely sick of my birthday (it's on the 11 th). Nobody can be bothered (I can't really actually), everyone's broke and on a diet etc etc. My parents suggested they do something nice for me in the summer, we tried that last year and it was a lot nicer!

Happy Birthday Op!

Happy Birthday OP. My dd's birthday is between Christmas and new year and she is always shortchanged in the present department from certain family members. I really wish I had announced when she was younger that we would celebrate her birthday in June but as she is has just turned 18 it's a bit late now.
I would really encourage any new parents to do this.
It makes me sad for her, especially as her sister's birthday is in May.

NOONE IS BOTHERED BY ANY ADULTS BIRTHDAY, whatever month of the year its in. Noone cares. its not because its near christmas, its because youre an adult.

You only get one present? So do most people. boo fucking hoo

My daughter's is on 2nd, which as everyone says, is a bit crap. Also seems to be impossible for people to think ahead and post cards (if any are posted at all), leaving an extra day for the bank holiday. This year as it fell on a weekend too, cards didn't arrive until 4th or yesterday.. which was a bit sad. Loving the idea of a birthday tree, might try that one next year. thank you!

I'm also a bit at you expecting presents aged 30 - as an adult I'd be grateful for one Boots toiletry set, never mind several.

I get two presents on my birthday - from DH and from my mum.

However I do agree it's a crap time of year to have a birthday. My DD's is the 4th of January. No-one ever feels like doing anything much and the party mood is well and truly over :(

My dcs have birthdays between the middle of December and end of January, as do two nieces, sil, dh, me and mil. We've never done joint birthday and Christmas presents and neither did/does my parents or dh's parents (except the year I got a quite expensive laptop but they was my choice). The worst thing about having a birthday so close to Christmas for me growing up was getting all the presents within two weeks and nothing for the rest of the year.

It's only since being on mn that I realised that so many people seem to give one Christmas-birthday present to those with December / January birthdays, my parents always made as much fuss of my birthday as they did for others. I always make sure my dcs get the same fuss and money spent on their birthdays as dsd does for her summer birthday. It means making sure I've put money aside and buying cards early, I do buy some of their birthday presents in the sales but only if I'd have bought them anyway iyswim.

I feel your pain too. Mine is next week.

It's always a bit of a wash out.

I'm going to be 40, so fancied doing something but everyone is broke, on a diet, doing dry January or partied out from Christmas/NY.

DH always suggests "doing something nice when the weather is a bit better", but by then it's long forgotten about

I don't feel like that at all Branleuse! I make an effort for any friend or family birthday adult or child. For my wife or parents or close friend I always carefully choose a present and often make a cake and try to make it special for them. I think everyone appreciates that, not just children.

Happy birthday OP.

I hear you, mine is on Friday and my daughter's is tomorrow. I have delayed my birthday till Feb and March some years, and that's been really nice. Be like the queen