To wish my birthday was not today

[Paleninteresting]

I'm in my late 30s and my birthday is today. I have a lifetime of having joint Christmas/birthday presents, having early or late 'treats' not on the actual day and presents which have obviously been picked up in a rush in the post Christmas sales.

I know it's the thought that counts but the thought seems lacking in care or any personal knowledge of things I like, eg products not tested on animals.
If I get one more set of toiletries from the Boots sale today I may scream.

So I have cancelled my birthday from now on, I am serious. Having lack of care reinforced each year, when I hope each time for the 6th of January to be different is now demoralising.
AIBU?

Happy birthday. Time to act like the Queen and have an official and unofficial birthday.

My sister (33 on the 2nd Jan) celebrates hers on the 2nd of June. Hogmanay drying out tends to overshadow her actual birthday. Not sure anyone outside of immediate family actually knows when her birthday is.....

My birthday is this week and my son has just had his - it sucks sometimes. I have to be really organised about getting a decent card for him as quite often the shops still seem full of reduced price Christmas cards. We never give him a joint present. When I was young I was so jealous of friends that had summer birthdays and parties playing outside etc.

My birthdays next week and ive never had these issues. If anything i get more because of the january sales! Could be worse could be on christmas day or new years eve/day.

I feel your pain. My birthday was last Sunday. One of my "presents" still had the christmas tag addressed to the family member that gave it to to me.

My birthday next week, I'm having a party on Saturday, I find that people are generally happy to come and celebrate though after Xmas and New Year as something to look forward to. I just ask people to bring a drink though, so no significant cost. However I'm having real trouble thinking up present ideas two weeks after Xmas, though only expecting them from close friends and family anyway.

How about throwing yourself a Summer birthday party this year on 6th July and tell everyone that's your new official Birthday Celebration and presents Day, like the Queen.

I think you should fall on your sword and announce that in order to save your friends and family expense in January you will be henceforth celebrating your birthday on the 6th July every year. Then plan a big event that they will have to put some thought into presents for

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Pale

I could have written that post myself except mines the 3rd Jan. 3 decades of joint Christmas / Birthday presents. To be fair my parents were brilliant when I was younger, always a separate event and decs down the day before to distinguish between the days.

Since I turned 19 everyone is skint / hungover / sick of looking at food / back to work. This year I had a 'big' birthday, DH gave me two very impersonal gifts that you could give to any woman. He didn't even wrap my present except in the carrier bag it came from, I always thought wrapping birthday gifts in xmas paper was a poor do but better than a plastic carrier! Nothing planned to go out or celebrate, my best friend must have forgotten as I haven't heard from her either. I felt very undervalued and shit to be honest.

All in all a load of shite so I too have cancelled birthdays from now on, in solidarity YANBU.

Poor OP. I think your nearest and dearest have been thoughtless to you. DD1 and DH have birthdays just before Christmas, and DD2's is next week, and we/everyone have always celebrated their birthdays fully, without a Boots set in sight! I think your family/friends need to pull their socks up. DD1 (and DH) love their birthdays being near Christmas as it adds to the atmosphere they say.

Thanks all and briefly trending on Mumsnet is a pretty good birthday present. I have to get down to some work now but will return later and update on the further toiletries I may have received.

Gummy and all other posters, we could have a regular December/ January support thread and share our pain.
🍰 to all.

YANBU but in the Christian calendar this is a most auspicious day for a birthday as it's Epiphany, the Feast of the Three Kings, and in many European countries it's a public holiday with many public celebrations taking place.

Why not take a leaf out of the monarch's book and make a Saturday in June your 'official' birthday?

In any event, have a good one and many happy returns .

Sympathy, mine was yesterday! Fortunately I have never experienced joint presents, but have sometimes been forgotten especially by my late mother! ( but that's another different story!)

My DH will sometimes organise a holiday somewhere and for special birthdays the trips have been well thought out.

I keep meeting people who were born yesterday or today and I do always send them best wishes.

So happy birthday to everyone with a January birthday. We are the first ones of the year! [cake, wine]

Totally feel this too mine is on Friday ! This year I have booked my husband and me a weekend away without the kids mum is looking after them as I never seem to celebrate my birthday and though fuck it this year !

Keep all the gift sets and re gift throughout the year.( rotate so no one gets what they gave)
If they grumble say that's what you gave me I thought you liked it

I feel your pain. I have a birthday on NYE. Apart from Christmas Day itself, I truly believe it is the worst day of the year to have a birthday - everyone is celebrating something else. The hours of daylight are practically at their lowest and the weather is usually dismal. I have had a pathological aversion to my birthday and NYE all my life but didn't learn when I came to have children of my own as my ds2's birthday is 21st December.

I have never had joint presents though. And I don't really mind if people buy me things cheaply in the sales if they can organise themselves between Christmas and NYE - they don't usually.

I think the best plan for you would be to allocate a day in the summer when you will celebrate your birthday. Make sure everyone knows that this will now be your official day. Have presents then, go out, do what you want, enjoy the sunshine and long daylight hours free from the post Christmas gloom.

Oh and happy birthday!

Happy birthday Pale - it is also my birthday today, but I can do one better (if I may).

Not only have I had the usual thing of people forgetting my birthday/joint presents thing, I have had to endure being kissed on both cheeks ALL THE GODDAMN LIVE LONG DAY by colleagues (I'm an expat not living in UK).
I'm not a touchy-feely person at all so I am borderline homicidal at this moment in time.

Lets have some lots of to make up for being born at a shitty time of year

I feel your pain! My DS is 21st December.

We've had family buy him one present and say "It's a bit bigger, so it's for birthday and Christmas"

As PP has said, could you perhaps ask for vouchers in place, so you can choose something you'd really like yourself in the sales?

Oh, and sending you and another for your birthday 🎂 x

Yes, YABU - Mine is the 22nd December. Its shit. As a child, friends were always busy with family/parties etc so I remember 1 birthday party as a child. Now, people are busy doing last minute shopping and visits etc. Oh and at least you have enough of a gap between Xmas and your birthday to not get joint presents!

I'm due tomorrow, I'll have to cross my legs for a bit longer it seems, I'd hate for dc2 to hate his/her birthday forever

It's mine on Friday. Rubbish time of year. Can't get excited about it myself let alone expecting anyone else to.

Maybe this will be some consolation to you. When I went into hospital to have my daughter around 10pm, on 5th January, one of the nurses said, ah this baby will be born before midnight.

In a broad scoots accent the midwife said,

"try to hang on Hen, 12th night is the luckiest day to be born".

I did, and we always had a 12th night party for her birthday It was great because it was something to look forward to after Christmas.

Happy Birthday.

Whilst I understand your disappointment (even though as an adult I don't expect any fuss at all on my birthday, I just enjoy it for what it is) it does seem a bit ungrateful when an adult complains about being bought a 'set of toiletries from the Boots sale'. These people have actually bought you something, even if it's not what you were hoping for. Can I ask if you make a big fuss on everyone else in your family and all of your friend's birthdays every year?

I would change my birthday, and I'm deadly serious! Pick a lovely day in the summer when you can enjoy amazing weather and be fussed over properly. Then simply announce to friends and family that next year and every year thereafter, you'll be celebrating on (say) 20th May instead. Like the Queen!

The best thing about this is that you can still have a minor and private celebration in January AS WELL.

I feel your pain too.

My birthday is Valentine's Day, try booking a restaurant or going out with friends that day! Not a chance.

Given up now too x