To wish my birthday was not today

[Paleninteresting]

I'm in my late 30s and my birthday is today. I have a lifetime of having joint Christmas/birthday presents, having early or late 'treats' not on the actual day and presents which have obviously been picked up in a rush in the post Christmas sales.

I know it's the thought that counts but the thought seems lacking in care or any personal knowledge of things I like, eg products not tested on animals.
If I get one more set of toiletries from the Boots sale today I may scream.

So I have cancelled my birthday from now on, I am serious. Having lack of care reinforced each year, when I hope each time for the 6th of January to be different is now demoralising.
AIBU?

My ds was yesterday, we have a massive extended family none of who give a damn. My poor ds gets cards and pressies from only a few but his birthday is often an afterthought. This year we are introducing a half birthday , day trip somewhere etc so that he can get a bit of an equal share of the fuss the other two get on theirs!

Most adults organise their own birthday celebrations though don't they? Do people actually turn you down if you ask them to have lunch, go for dinner etc?

Alicia, I have posted that I put loads of time, effort and months of planning into other people's birthdays. And yes being ungrateful could be levelled at me.
That said, I am a woman of habit. If you have known me for more than a couple of years it's easy to find what I like. Eyes DP narrowly.

DP is tomorrow by the way so I do feel your pain. He isn't arsed though, I think men just aren't as bothered.

Fair enough if it's your DP being shit, though he might be like that regardless of time of year?

I think people who have birthdays near christmas, all seem to be under the misapprehension that anyone else gives a shit about birthdays at other times of the year.

My birthday is in july and noone gives a fuck. I dont get presents from people any more than you do.

YANBU.

DH's birthday (40th) was a few days ago. We ignore Xmas and make a big fuss of his birthday. (We do surprise holidays for big birthdays.). We'll throw a party in the summer to celebrate his half birthday.

Branleuse, I'm inclined to agree. I'd also add that my b'day is in June and the weather is usually a bit shit then too. Memories DF stood under an unbrella cooking sausages on the BBQ for my 21st.

I think b'days can be a bit underwhelming as an adult, regardless of time of year.

Chin up op.

Happy Birthday fellow Januaryers! Mine is tomorrow but I'm looking forward to it, the DC are really excited (any excuse for cake!) so it's making me feel happy.

It was rubbish when I was a student as everyone was either away or broke or it was exam time so never got to go out. Now I'm mid 30s and most of my friends are out of the very early children bit so up for nights out! We're doing dinner and dancing on Friday night with about 6 other couples.

Happy birthday.

My birthday was yesterday. My sister's the day before. My niece tomorrow. My dad's next week.

Every year it's crap. I totally feel your pain. Dp failed big time this year and then uttered the "but I just got you a camera for Xmas" at which point I exploded and asked him if he'd say that to someone whose birthday is in May? He apologised and took me shopping today. I didn't want much but it's the idea that because you've just had a Xmas present its fine to join the two things. It's not!!

for you, both mine, my DSis and my fab little niece's birthday was last week, so feel your pain.

I have accepted now that it is all a bit rubbish, and don't mind at all - but have had decades of being forgotten, joint presents, skint friends, hungover knackered friends and now dry/diet/clean January friends. You can never think of anything you want, and the shops are full of winter end sale things.

I think I may suggest half birthday, it would be lovely to have a summery gift, or a warm weekend away.

All my celebrating is over for the year in a week and I would love to have something mid year to look forward to. I always make a huge big fuss of both DSis and niece as a consequence.

I agree. My brother's is the 8th. My other brother's is Dec 22nd. I always get them two gifts each, one wrapped in Christmas paper and one in Happy Birthday paper.

Happy birthday.

OP as a child, yes I can understand being a bit upset, but as an adult...? No, not really. As other posters have pointed out, It's not any different for many people throughout the year. It's not just because your birthday is a couple of weeks after Christmas.

Happy birthday OP!
Mine is near the end of January and it can be a bit rubbish. Everyone gets paid early in December and then spends like mad over Christmas so when my birthday comes round everyone is utterly skint. I suppose I should be glad for the January sales though as otherwise I think I'd just get a few IOUs for my birthday! I quite fancy a turn at a summer birthday one year, sunshine and no christmas hangover and all.

Don't cancel, that lets them off

Do the half birthday, g'awn, g'awn, g'awn

Happy birthday, .Sorry the people in your life aren't very good at making an effort. An unofficial birthday in July sounds ideal, in addition scale down your contribution to their birthdays, see if that helps.

A half birthday is appealing. The first week of the summer school holidays could be good as I will have small people to celebrate with, they always do the best parties.
Alicia, I know I am an adult however so are most of the people around me, with organisational skills, fully functioning memories and a range of modern technologies from which to deliver a minor celebration.

Happy birthday OP. My birthday's today as well and I had to suffer through the joint presents as a kid as well so totally get where you're coming from.
These days people are generally more thoughtful and I've not had a joint present in years.
Don't cancel your birthday, you deserve one just as much as everyone else. 🎂

My DD was on 20th Dec. My other DD has hers on this weekend.

I prefer the Jan one because she gets more stuff in the sales. I am sick of buying presents and spending money but obviously I still make as much effort as I do for my summer born children.

My MIL is a December birthday and she used to get presents wrapped in Xmas paper or nothing at all and it really bothers her so she makes a big deal of their birthdays.

Happy Birthday OP!

Mine is the 2nd of January. Try getting people to go out on that date.

My DH's birthday is tomorrow - the day of taking down the Christmas tree. What I have done the past few years is to re-decorate the tree so that it becomes a birthday tree and we can leave it up a bit longer. I've just bought some jammy dodgers to go on it, together with our usual tub of plastic dinosarus which we keep for these sorts of special occasions plus the festive robot decorations.
My birthday is in February so both our birthdays are rubbish - so we got married in May to have a sunny special day to look forward to.

Love the birthday tree. That will relieve the ugh of taking the tree down. A tree of chocolate would be lovely- see easy to please.

Argh I've just realised, DP and I plan to start TTC in May (after an active holiday one can't be prego for) and that would result in a January baby!

Can I do that to my child? May keep my knickers on for an extra month.

Same for DH, cleaty.

My best friend's birthday is Dec and she hates it as everyone is rushing about preparing for Xmas and too busy to do stuff with her.

Mine is in Feb and it annoys me that lots of stately homes are closed as I'd like a day out at one for a birthday treat now and again!
Also, our local Chinese is closed on my birthday as they go home for Chinese New Year!!

Not good.

I always said if I had children born near/on Xmas Day that we'd celebrate it in June instead.