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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not go to a wedding during Christmas Week

136 replies

wellliesandleaves · 28/10/2015 15:33

An old school friend is getting married on 22nd Dec, which is the Monday of Christmas week. She is having the wedding in a small country village about 3 hours drive away. We don't really see each other that regularly any more, but try and catch up a couple of times a year.

I am always chasing my tail Christmas week trying to get everything done, there's a lot of family stuff on (much of it traditions that I love) and it's always a really busy week. I would have to travel down on Sunday afternoon and back up Tuesday morning, and would probably be absolutely wrecked on the Wednesday.

WIBU to regret the invitation? My sister reckons that, given it's Christmas week and they've chosen an awkward location, they will have to accept that some guests just won't want to go, but I don't want to hurt her feelings.

OP posts:

Floggingmolly · 28/10/2015 15:35

God no, I certainly wouldn't go.

NotTodaySatan · 28/10/2015 15:36

I wouldn't go.

I think anyone who chooses to have their wedding in Xmas week would have to brace themselves for a lot of 'no' responses.

MumOnTheRunAgain · 28/10/2015 15:38

Christmas week!?? Since when has it been a week? Thought it was just christmas day

I'd go. Be a nice chance to get away from this long (Christmas) week of stress you seem to have created for yourself

whatdoIget · 28/10/2015 15:38

It's actually the Tuesday of Christmas week fyi

SurlyValentine · 28/10/2015 15:39

YADNBU

I definitely wouldn't go. Everyone (well, everyone I know, but maybe we're just chaotic ) is hectic busy that week before Christmas, and the B&G can't expect everyone to drop everything for them.

Btw, the 22nd is the Tuesday, according to my calendar

Original poster

wellliesandleaves · 28/10/2015 15:39

Sorry, typo, it's the 21st December.

OP posts:

SurlyValentine · 28/10/2015 15:40

x post whatdo

JoanGalt · 28/10/2015 15:41

I went to a Christmas wedding last year and it was magical.
It was on the 21st of December and everyone dressed up in black tie and evening gowns. The wedding was themed around winter and it all looked beautiful.
It was actually really nice to take a day out to enjoy the atmosphere of Christmas and have a great party.

BlinkAndMiss · 28/10/2015 15:43

FFS Christmas week? I'm not sure what the problem is really, it's irrelevant that it's near Christmas - you are either busy and can't go, don't want to make the effort to go or you want to go and you will. I don't think Christmas has much to do with it.

Loads of people get married around Christmas, it's not exactly a heap of hassle if you're just a guest and not in the actual wedding party.

Original poster

wellliesandleaves · 28/10/2015 15:45

Well my problem Blink is that it will effectively take three days between the travelling up and down and the wedding itself, and it's always a really busy week.

I thought Christmas week was quite a common expression, meaning the week of Christmas.

OP posts:

ChatEnOeuf · 28/10/2015 15:45

Oh, I'd definitely go, I love a Christmas party wedding :)

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 28/10/2015 15:46

Christmas week!?? Since when has it been a week?

Christ, is this a thing now - or is it just another "MN but not in RL" thing?

If you can't take 1 day out of "Christmas Week" I'd suggest you're probably overdoing it!!!

Runningupthathill82 · 28/10/2015 15:46

It's only three hours away so hardly far, and it's a whole four days before Christmas. Honestly don't see the problem.

I went to a Christmas Eve wedding a few years ago and it was fab.

That said, it doesn't sound like you want to go, and this "Christmas week" tizz might do as an excuse - so don't go. All sounds a bit OTT, this wedding that's only three hours away requiring a two-night stay and leaving you "absolutely wrecked"!

2ndSopranosRule · 28/10/2015 15:47

I'd go if I was able to have finished work by then.

It's October: surely you've enough time between now and then to organise yourself?

Sorry, I can't stand the hysteria surrounding Christmas, I really can't.

SilverShadows · 28/10/2015 15:50

I went to a wedding 6 hours away on the 27th once. Travelled on 26th so the major roads were dead, have 2 nice nights away and the wedding was beautiful.

But if you don't want to go, then just don't! Send your apologies and be done with it.

Puffthemagicfanjo · 28/10/2015 15:51

YANBU. We have to go to one on the 23rd. With our two small children. Oh good. I'm not a fan of weddings at the best of times.

I wouldn't be going if I could think of a decent excuse.

BlinkAndMiss · 28/10/2015 15:52

What Running said...

Imogenlasting · 28/10/2015 15:52

YANBU. Most people are really busy that week (and yes, I know what you mean by 'Christmas week' and suspect most other posters do as well).

A six hour round trip plus two nights stay in a hotel would not be my cup of tea a few days before Christmas. I envy all those posters who seem to have nothing much to do that week and can't understand that it's busy and hectic for a lot of people.

I personally will be attending a nativity play and a carol service, collecting my sister from the airport, making up beds, going to the pantomime with extended family including grandparents plus all the last minute shopping that has to be done no matter how organised you are and various other things. If I had to fit in a three day trip for a wedding as well I would not be happy.

SelfRaisingFlour · 28/10/2015 15:55

Do you really have to stay two nights when it's only 3 hours away? Could you travel there on the Monday morning instead?

Headofthehive55 · 28/10/2015 15:57

I understand your frustration.

We have been invited to the evening do of my cousin two hours away. Christmas week. They have not invited our children though, just partners.

Apparently they are getting lots of regret replies.

We've decided not to go. (Parents are going) I have no one to have our children, and to be honest would rather spend the evening with them.

Wishful80smontage · 28/10/2015 15:57

Yes Id go you've got lots of time to get everything ready in advance now. Fwiw I love Xmas weddings :)

Noodledoodledoo · 28/10/2015 15:59

Drive up the day of the wedding - have been to plenty of weddings that far away and done so. Get changed near the venue so you don't have to travel in wedding outfit. Think it is doable if you want to go.

I also love Christmas so do lots of stuff but would move/not do some this year to attend a wedding.

I might be a bit biased as I got married at Christmas and only one of our guests we invited sent a no RSVP.

ExConstance · 28/10/2015 16:00

I'd probably drive up on the day of the wedding and just stay over one night, but I'd go. Order all your Christmas stuff from M&S or similar to save time later in the week.

ineedabodytransplant · 28/10/2015 16:00

Selfraising, my thoughts as well. Seems a bit much to stay away for two nights when the service is really quite close. Unless there's a reason not to drive up in the morning. Or is the service in the morning and thus the need to stay away for the two nights? Just trying to se what the options are as the OP seems to be getting frazzled

Shutthatdoor · 28/10/2015 16:00

I thought Christmas week was quite a common expression, meaning the week of Christmas

Which for many is a week that they are still actually working and some children still at school.

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