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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think whole-class birthday parties should be banned?

182 replies

FishCanFly · 25/07/2015 19:49

Done to death threads in this forum. People always complaining about either having to invite unwanted guests and face fallout, or somebody getting excluded.
Its not an official school event, so it should be organized privately. Or am i missing the point?

OP posts:
LashesandLipstick · 25/07/2015 19:52

I don't get whole class parties. Seems like a needless showing off exercise

ilovesooty · 25/07/2015 19:54

I'm surprised that some people expect the school to put invitations in book bags or even be involved in who's invited.

MissMuesli · 25/07/2015 19:55

I did a whole class party for 4 year old. It wasn't about showing off! I couldn't decide who to invite/ not invite and the venue was big enough for the whole class. It was great fun! I think YABU as whole class parties work for plenty of people!

DawnOfTheDoggers · 25/07/2015 19:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheHouseOnBellSt · 25/07/2015 19:57

sooty why would you be surprised about invitations in book bags? Confused It's the "done thing" where I live. Small kids lose them otherwise. It usually stops in juniors and they hand them out themselves.

Original poster
FishCanFly · 25/07/2015 19:58

Yeah, but when networking fails and somebody gets upset, the fallout lands on school community.

OP posts:
yummumto3girls · 25/07/2015 20:02

When children are in reception or year 1 they haven't necessarily developed special friendships to invite small groups so whole class parties are the way to go. If they are having an entertainer then numbers really do not matter. As for being for networking mothers, I think someone is over thinking it!

Shop · 25/07/2015 20:03

I'm not a networking mother and don't need anyone's approval.
We had a whole class party, they were 4 & 5 year olds a few months into the school year. I wouldn't have known where to start picking & choosing.
I suspect as they get older the parties will be smaller.
No idea how someone could find including everyone offensive?!

LashesandLipstick · 25/07/2015 20:03

Whole class parties are nothing to do with children and everything to do with networking mothers.

This

reni1 · 25/07/2015 20:03

I quite like them, many venues are fixed price, or we had it in the park, picnic is not much more for 30 than for 15. I tend to have big parties myself, less claustrophobic. Never been out of pocket and they are a joy. We don't do party bags though.

reni1 · 25/07/2015 20:06

Networking mothers Grin ! What for, to be besties on the playground? How utterly ridiculous, never crossed my mind.

Original poster
FishCanFly · 25/07/2015 20:08

No idea how someone could find including everyone offensive?!

May be offensive to your own child if they are made to have bullies at their own birthday.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 25/07/2015 20:10

I don't see why school staff who have enough to do already should have to involve themselves in putting invitations in book bags.

If you want a party out of school hours you should find your own ways of getting the invitations out.

Vatersay · 25/07/2015 20:11

Networking mothers?

Showing off??!

Goodness me, when did a few party games and some cupcakes cause such angst?

Whole class parties were the norm for the first few years at primary 30 years ago when I was at school.

I'm bloody sure that my mother wasn't either networking or showing off any more than anyone these days.

Calm down people.

As for 'fallout on the school community' GrinGrinGrinConfused

NeedsAsockamnesty · 25/07/2015 20:15

How is it possible to network at a party you are not actually attending?

It's the norm for compulsory education aged children to not have parents attend parties with them, it's a drop and run job.

Murfles · 25/07/2015 20:16

sooty why would you be surprised about invitations in book bags? confused It's the "done thing" where I live

I stopped teachers giving out invitations. They have more to do than put party invitations in book bags. As far as I'm concerned teachers are there to teach and nurture children. They're not there to organise childrens social invites. It was stopped after I had three mothers ask for appointments with me to ask why their children hadn't been invited to so and so's party Confused I don't have time in my already busy schedule to discuss birthday parties that are absolutely nothing to do with school.

reni1 · 25/07/2015 20:16

Agree with Vatersay. As for the invites, I asked the teacher if I could pop one in each child's pigeonhole in the classroom, she said yes. We then had lots of 4yos running and dancing around and mums and dads sipping water or wine waiting to take their hyped up kids home. Networking indeed Grin .

Welshmaenad · 25/07/2015 20:16

I recently had a whole class party for dd. we actually invited the whole year (2 classes) plus the whole brownie pack.

It wasn't showing off, or networking, I just wanted her to have a great time with loads of her friends because she didn't get a party last year because my mum died.

I told people they didn't need to bother with presents. I also told them smaller siblings were welcome. I invited the class 'bully' he behaved impeccably and his nan was so happy I invited him that she cried.

It was the least AIBU worthy party ever Grin

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 25/07/2015 20:16

I don't think it's anything to with showing off. I think must parents have whole class parties so that no child/ren is/are left out.

bostonkremekrazy · 25/07/2015 20:18

we always have a whole class party

nothing to do with showing off or networking.....

my children both have SN - they have no real best friends so can't just have 2-3 to the house etc...

we always do the local soft play place - after school class deal - 50 kids for x£, invite the whole class - lots turn up and they all have a nice time.

seems the best way to keep my kids happy on their birthday.

oh - and our school's policy is they only give out invites if there is one for every child in the class. if not they will not help the child to distribute them....fair enough i think.

ilovesooty · 25/07/2015 20:20

Thank you Murfles - I'm obviously not alone in my opinion then.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 25/07/2015 20:22

Your DC's school has an excellent policy. Boston. I think most school will probably follow this procedure, as they are all about inclusion aren't they.

DarkNavyBlue · 25/07/2015 20:23

Whole class parties the norm here for reception and Y1.

Some of you are overthinking this massively.

Welshmaenad · 25/07/2015 20:23

Oh, dd's teachers were happy to hand out invites. One for each child as they line up to leave the classroom, it's not exactly taxing. If they can manage to give out school newsletters etc they can manage that.

StrangeGlue · 25/07/2015 20:23

Yabu if you don't like then don't do them but you don't get to police other people for not thinking the same thing as you!