To think whole-class birthday parties should be banned?

[FishCanFly]

Done to death threads in this forum. People always complaining about either having to invite unwanted guests and face fallout, or somebody getting excluded.
Its not an official school event, so it should be organized privately. Or am i missing the point?

I did a whole class party because dd asked for one. That's it.

No.

It is going to nothing to help the child socialise, a one to one, or small party helps them to get to know others. I can see it all about getting to know other mothers which is probably why it stops once children make their own friends instead of their mother's friend's children.

Actually running a bigger party I have no time to sit and chat to the parents who are there.

It is going to do nothing to help the child socialise

What rot. What do you think children do at these parties if it isn't socialising?

Also all this tosh about mothers is boring. No socialising with a drop and run. No mothers networking (for what purpose?) at anything I've seen but then dh goes to most of these things because I don't want to.

DS1 had no idea who he wanted to invite to his birthday in reception, so we invited everyone. About 2/3 of the class came, we all had fun, don't understand what all the angst one way or another is about...

What an absolute crock of shit, there are 20 children in DS's class and that is two year groups. He invited them all. They all had a fabulous time, i did not 'network' or any other such shite. My son had a birthday party, he loved it, the kids loved it. That is all.

This fucking forum never ceases to amaze me with the shite people get worked up over and call for a ban on!

You know what there should be a ban on... Fucking moaning

Usual load of shite on here I see. Networking mothers? Really? Ensuring 30 invitations back? Christ I hope not! Maximising present opportunities? Nope. Not even that.

Have had one whole class party and a few more select ones. The whole class one was a joint party and all the kids had a ball. Was great to see them all playing together out of school and to see the boys there too that dd1 wouldn't have had the chance to invite if it was more select. Do it, don't do it, I don't care. But the chips on shoulders are hysterical.

Of course after my eldest's whole class party in reception I had done such effective networking they made me chair of the PTA and the Queen gave me an MBE for services to the community.

Or I went home and drank a big glass of wine and got a take away before falling asleep on the sofa.

Snort at networking mothers. Networking for what? On what planet?

We can't have children around to play (severely disabled oldest child) & always had whole class parties & some extras as it meant we didn't have to leave anyone out. We could even invite the kids with special needs.

Used to do hall, entertainer & kids. Even did a joint ds2/ds3 one once so invited 2 classes (not issued as a joint invitation so no need for anyone to be guilted into 2 presebts before people start clutching their pearls).

DS' class has a whatsapp group. It'll state "don't put a snack in your dc's bag tomorrow, it is X's birthday and we are sending in cake" (= slice for each child), or "can anyone make it to X park on Friday at 5, party for Y, all welcome". That sort of thing. Job done. Teachers would flat out refuse to do any organising - as well they should, imho.

Not all parents go to every one, some don't even bother to answer, but you can estimate numbers. DS is 4yo, most parties have been in a park, so far.

We are not in the UK. But reading about the UK cracks me up

oh I did the second one movingonup although mine was a bottle not a glass so am going to go for option 2

Of course it won't help them socialise - it is exactly the same as they are used to in a school day. If you want to help them socialise you need to have one child home for tea so they can really get to know them. Same with a party. A big party is like your wedding- you never get to really talk to each other. A small party will give them time to get to know the other children in a fun situation.

I can't really see how it helps the mothers socialise- if I had the whole class it would be strictly leave at the door and collect later!

I think sometimes the ones who come up with this kind of nonsense do it to justify not wanting to give big parties themselves, then others who feel the same jump on it feeling thoroughly vindicated. Personally I couldn't care less what other people decide to do for their own child. I can't think why anyone cares what I do for mine.

I think you may need to Google the definition of socialise Mehitabel. Children do socialise at school btw.

I was told by somebody that whole class parties are her idea of hell. What did she do for the 9th birthday she was throwing for her dgd's 9th I asked. A sleepover with ten girls. We agreed that our ideas of what "hell" means are quite different .

I did not go on mn to ask if 10-girl-sleepovers should be banned though, I just won't throw one.

This is the fourth year my DS has had a whole class party.

I do it to network with the other mums, maximise my parental opportunities and ensure he gets invites to everyone else's parties. I make the teachers hand out the invites as they clearly have nothing better to do.

Actually it's just because his birthday is in the summer holidays, his classmates are lovely and it's a nice way to celebrate and end the summer term

I had three mothers ask for appointments with me to ask why their children hadn't been invited to so and so's party

Wtf! For one person to arrange a meeting with a teacher about something like this is strange, but for three! What exactly were the parents planning to say to this poor teacher? Bizarre!

My DD is only 2,but I'm dreading school - around here there's average of 25 kids per class. That means every other week on average there's a child's birthday party to attend. And that means a present, card and gift wrap - say £10 minimum. That's £240 per year on other peoples kids who you don't know or love, and your child probably doesn't know.

Fuck that. I'm not doing that - I wouldn't give a shit if someone invited DD I would never feel the need to invite them back she says now, let's see in 2 years
She's at nursery now and gets invited to parties a lot but I always decline - it's not like she'll know she misses out!

When did being friendly, generous and sociable turn into a fucking crime in this country? Jeesuuss

PS OP YANBU - I don't understand why people can't just let their children have actual friends at parties, for the worry of offending parents or excluding kids. Why does the whole class have to be pally with each other?! It's not a true reflection of life!

Piperchapstick that has not been my experience with two children going through primary. Every other week? There have not been that many parties at all and most people give a book token or a small craft set - value around £5.

I can't believe the relentless negativity towards small, excited children celebrating their birthdays on here. Your children won't thank you for it when they're missing out because you can't be arsed to make a tiny bit of effort for the occasional party.

You decline ALL invitations for your child? How selfish.

Piper, you'll never have to invite back. We do big parties, others don't. Some people party and invite her, some party and don't invite her, some don't do birthday parties. The idea that there's a right way is very AIBU-y.

We are all BU on this thread wasting a thought on other people's children's parties, including the op. How utterly ridiculous to read anything into all whole class parties. There might be a specific one she had in mind.