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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not have given up my seat

140 replies

bookbag40 · 08/07/2015 20:54

End of year show at school today. I was going on my own as husband couldn't get time off work.

So all the parents pile into the hall and I spot a lone seat on the front row I nabbed it quickly as both sons had a good role and I really wanted to get a good view.

About 30 seconds after I had sat down the lady I was sat next to turned to me and said excuse me we are saving that seat for my MIL. I said oh we can't reserve seats and continued to sit there.

Then she said but we want to sit together as a family. Again I said that you couldn't reserve seats at the show. Of course by this time seats were filling up and the only seats were further back and I didn't want to move and didn't feel I should have to.
Anyway the MIL came over and I just ignored her looking straight ahead. She eventually got a seat further back and the lady next to me continued to huff and puff and shoot me dirty glances through the show.
I think was in the right but she clearly thought I was unreasonable - surely its first come first serve and she couldn't demand that I moved!

OP posts:
MamaLazarou · 08/07/2015 20:56

YANBU. I wouldn't have moved either.

queribus · 08/07/2015 20:56

You were right. I hope you enjoyed the show Smile

AmIthatsummery · 08/07/2015 20:57

YA definitely NBU

Seat savers piss me off

LaurieFairyCake · 08/07/2015 20:58

Yanbu

But I think only because she waited so long to tell you

If she'd put a bag on the seat because her mil had popped to the loo it might have been a bit harsh to take the seat

Original poster
bookbag40 · 08/07/2015 21:00

Agree Laurie if there had been a bag on the seat and she said that her mum had popped to the loo it would have been reasonable but it was just a free seat and then once I was settled she demanded I move!

OP posts:
TelephoneIgnoringMachine · 08/07/2015 21:00

She should have said straightaway. OTOH - a bit hard for the MIL if she'd already been sitting, & had just nipped out to the toilet. Should have left something on the seat though, to make it obvious it was taken.

HeyDuggee · 08/07/2015 21:01

So the kids of that woman spotted their parents sitting there but not gran and assumed the entire time gran missed their show?

If you were that desperate for a good seat, you should've got there earlier. Like the other family.

thatstoast · 08/07/2015 21:01

How long was it between you being asked to move and MIL being there? If she was arriving separately and 10 minutes later then I'd say you were right. If she was in the room but hadn't sat down I can see why they'd be put out.

Was the show good at least?

MissDemelzaCarne · 08/07/2015 21:02

YWNBU

Original poster
bookbag40 · 08/07/2015 21:04

It was about 5 mins before the mil got there - it wasn't like I barged her out of the way!

OP posts:
TheReluctantCountess · 08/07/2015 21:04

I'm torn on this one. The thing that makes me think you could have been in the right was her waiting before telling you the seat was reserved.

GrumpyOldBiddy2 · 08/07/2015 21:05

I would have asked if it was taken and moved if they had reserved it for someone - seems a bit selfish to refuse to move.

Teabagbeforemilk · 08/07/2015 21:06

duggee I don't get what you are saying?

The op shouldn't have taken a seat where her sons could see her, so another child could see their parents AND gran?

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 08/07/2015 21:07

YWNBU in principle but I would have just moved. It's a school play not Shakespeare.

tobysmum77 · 08/07/2015 21:08

yanbu at all

Original poster
bookbag40 · 08/07/2015 21:08

But grumpy it was just an empty seat so there was no reason to ask if it was free

OP posts:
Mashtag · 08/07/2015 21:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

theendoftheendoftheend · 08/07/2015 21:10

I think you were a bit mean personally.

DJThreeDog · 08/07/2015 21:12

I don't think YABU but I am a coward and probably would have moved.

TwilightMad · 08/07/2015 21:12

Personally I'd of moved out of pure courtesy. I've reserved seats for my mother lots of time and I've never allowed anyone to take the seat, shock horror, they just went to find another one.

maresedotes · 08/07/2015 21:13

She arrived at the same time as everyone else so was on time. You can't/shouldn't reserve seats if the person isn't about. Usually, before the performance starts the parents/grandparents wave to the children to let them know where they're sitting so you can't assume they worried that she hadn't turned up.

sykadelic · 08/07/2015 21:13

I was going to say YABU because it's easier for 1 person to find a seat than three, and also because the roles your sons have isn't relevant at all...

BUT if they really wanted to sit together they could have moved to another section of seats and continued to sit together... or they could have put a bag on the seat and lied to you (as I've done before for the slower people).

So YANBU in that you didn't HAVE to move... I just probably would have.

AuntyMag10 · 08/07/2015 21:14

Yanbu, she could have left something on the seat if she went out to the loo. Or that woman could have told you immediately rather than wait 30seconds which implies that 'saving' meant she hadn't arrived as yet. Anyway I think it's more important a child sees their parent than a gp.

Appleblossom82 · 08/07/2015 21:14

I think you were a bit out of order personally

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky · 08/07/2015 21:16

So the kids of that woman spotted their parents sitting there but not gran and assumed the entire time gran missed their show?

I'm sure they'll get over it.

If you were that desperate for a good seat, you should've got there earlier. Like the other family.

Likewise, if the MIL was that desperate for a good seat she should have got there earlier.

If the MIL was unable to arrive with the rest of the family then the woman should have made it clear that the seat was taken by putting a bag on it or even just telling the OP before she sat down that it was taken. If this woman was that bothered about MIL sitting with them then she wouldn't have waited until after the OP had made herself comfortable.

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