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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not have given up my seat

140 replies

bookbag40 · 08/07/2015 20:54

End of year show at school today. I was going on my own as husband couldn't get time off work.

So all the parents pile into the hall and I spot a lone seat on the front row I nabbed it quickly as both sons had a good role and I really wanted to get a good view.

About 30 seconds after I had sat down the lady I was sat next to turned to me and said excuse me we are saving that seat for my MIL. I said oh we can't reserve seats and continued to sit there.

Then she said but we want to sit together as a family. Again I said that you couldn't reserve seats at the show. Of course by this time seats were filling up and the only seats were further back and I didn't want to move and didn't feel I should have to.
Anyway the MIL came over and I just ignored her looking straight ahead. She eventually got a seat further back and the lady next to me continued to huff and puff and shoot me dirty glances through the show.
I think was in the right but she clearly thought I was unreasonable - surely its first come first serve and she couldn't demand that I moved!

OP posts:
6cats3gingerkittens · 09/07/2015 02:33

Yabu.

JadeJaderson · 09/07/2015 02:42

Yabu.

Let it be a lesson to others though. Never say 'we're saving this seat'. Say 'sorry, this seats taken'.

MidniteScribbler · 09/07/2015 02:51

We got so fed up with the bitching over seats that we handed everything over to a ticketing agency. Parents have to login and buy their seats just like any other show or concert and select the seats online. Maximum two tickets per transaction. We have nothing to do with it, and so there's no point bitching to any staff about your seats.

Theycallmemellowjello · 09/07/2015 05:23

Presuming there were other seats and the lady was only saving one seat, I would have moved. But I don't think I'd have asked you to move if I'd been in the other lady's position.

Teabagbeforemilk · 09/07/2015 06:03

Simple fact is they can't save seats. So this seat was available so op sat in it. If the family wanted poor gran to sit at the front they could have let her have their seat. But presume they wanted themselves to have a good view and that tries what gran wanted. So why should the OP give up her seat?

Also, at these things parents should always trump gran (unless gran is the only attendee). The op should not have to move. Mn is like a parallel universe sometimes.

The op should have given up a seat that was available because a child might have been upset that only both their parents were visible. Not parents and gran. But it's not important for the OPs child to be able to see her.

claraschu · 09/07/2015 06:26

I would not have enjoyed the show with an angry person sitting next to me, so I would have moved.

RashDecision · 09/07/2015 06:34

YABU, yes she should have said as soon as you hovered or put something on the seat.

But...its a school play. Get over yourself and remember you have to see these people, who talk to their friends, and their friends for years. You will forever be the Bitch That Didn't Move.

Mehitabel6 · 09/07/2015 06:37

She should have put something on it and said something as you started to sit down. However I would just have moved, it wasn't worth a lot of unpleasantness.

BumpTheElephant · 09/07/2015 06:44

YANBU but I would have moved.
I almost always stand at the back at these sort of things because I'm really short and can't see a thing if I'm more than about three rows back.

Bodicea · 09/07/2015 06:44

I don't have a problem with people saving seats but Not putting her bag on it and Letting you get settled before she said anything, so that any other decent seats were taken in the meantime, was her downfall. Strange woman for leaving it so long!
Because of this Ywnbu.

GoblinLittleOwl · 09/07/2015 06:44

The end of term show, and you sat in a seat somebody else wanted?
You are lucky to be alive!

Lostlight · 09/07/2015 06:54

I hate it when a parent turns up on their own and then saves an entire row for their extended family. Who then arrive later. I arrive on my own, helping my grandad who has physical disabilities, get shoved out the way for these chancers. Selfish and inappropriate.

Yanbu.

Lostlight · 09/07/2015 06:55

Meant to add, ds has no father, great grandad is father figure.

Mehitabel6 · 09/07/2015 07:27

I am surprised that people can take their whole extended family- fire regulations generally restrict it to 2 tickets per child.

browneyedgirl86 · 09/07/2015 07:39

I think because there was no bag/ coat on the seat yanbu. But I disagree that parents should get first dibs on good seats and other less important relatives don't.

Catsize · 09/07/2015 08:27

YWBU. How miserable of you.
Mind you, she should have draped a beach towel over the seat. Preferably for eight hours before she used it.

Teabagbeforemilk · 09/07/2015 08:45

But...its a school play. Get over yourself and remember you have to see these people, who talk to their friends, and their friends for years. You will forever be the Bitch That Didn't Move.

Or the other family will be the ones that save seats, when asked not to, and then get shitty about it

Teabagbeforemilk · 09/07/2015 08:47

I am surprised that people can take their whole extended family- fire regulations generally restrict it to 2 tickets per child.

Not at our school. It depends on the size of the hall, school and how many pupils attend or are in the play.

ChampagneBabyCakes · 09/07/2015 08:54

I'm on the MIL side....so, if you had gotten up for the loo, could she or anyone else have jumped in your seat? Is that what we are doing now?

DragonWithAGirlTattoo · 09/07/2015 09:09

if the seat was 'taken' it should have been very visible with a bag or a cardy - OP says it wasnt

it also took a while for the other parent to ask - sorry, but if she had spoken up quicker then it would have been different

Its not fair for big families to sit across the front row, they should be considerate and maybe sit 2 in front and 2 behind, give everyone a chance to see

WeAreEternal · 09/07/2015 09:19

Not giving up the seat is not the issue, your attitude sounds horrendous and I'm sure that is what annoyed the other mum more than loosing the seat.

CrystalHaze · 09/07/2015 09:21

I know that attending school plays was the highlight of my Gran's year (she didn't get out much) and it would have really spoilt it for her sitting away from family and surrounded by strangers.

So next year she'll be sure to to be a bit less tardy, won't she?

Good for you, OP. YANBU.

NinkyNonkers · 09/07/2015 09:32

Depends on details really. I would always assume a single seat in front row with others further back to be taken. Likewise, if the actual timing was that you sat down while she was talking or looking the other way but said something as soon as she realised/plucked up courage then she wasn't being unreasonable.

Neither were you really, just a bit unpleasant.

Pangurban · 09/07/2015 11:32

If the mil had just popped out, then they should have put something on it or said that when you approached the seat. They didn't and just said they wanted to sit together. So they were preventing people who were there from availing of the seating. Entitled grabbers!

If the seats cannot be reserved, then they can't decide to unilaterally do so and expect everyone else to fall in with their wish list. Someone else could have come along and said "We were hoping to sit in the front row, can you lot move please". Would they have moved, do you think?

If there is any reservation of seats, it should be for parents.

Hoppinggreen · 09/07/2015 11:36

My mum has mobility issues and moves pretty slowly so I usually dash in and get her a seat next to me. However, I alway stick my bg or coat on it - no bag it's fair game as far as I'm concerned.