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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not have given up my seat

140 replies

bookbag40 · 08/07/2015 20:54

End of year show at school today. I was going on my own as husband couldn't get time off work.

So all the parents pile into the hall and I spot a lone seat on the front row I nabbed it quickly as both sons had a good role and I really wanted to get a good view.

About 30 seconds after I had sat down the lady I was sat next to turned to me and said excuse me we are saving that seat for my MIL. I said oh we can't reserve seats and continued to sit there.

Then she said but we want to sit together as a family. Again I said that you couldn't reserve seats at the show. Of course by this time seats were filling up and the only seats were further back and I didn't want to move and didn't feel I should have to.
Anyway the MIL came over and I just ignored her looking straight ahead. She eventually got a seat further back and the lady next to me continued to huff and puff and shoot me dirty glances through the show.
I think was in the right but she clearly thought I was unreasonable - surely its first come first serve and she couldn't demand that I moved!

OP posts:

FuckitFay · 08/07/2015 21:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dontloookbackinanger · 08/07/2015 21:19

I know that attending school plays was the highlight of my Gran's year (she didn't get out much) and it would have really spoilt it for her sitting away from family and surrounded by strangers.
With that in mind, I would have moved. I think YABU to take the grandparent's space.

Twowrongsdontmakearight · 08/07/2015 21:22

I wouldn't have moved. I can't bear seat reservers! Unless paid for like on a train.

MissPenelopeLumawoo2 · 08/07/2015 21:24

Is there a school policy which says you can't reserve seats? Otherwise why not? They got there early and nabbed a seat for their mother, I don't think there is anything wrong in that.

ashtrayheart · 08/07/2015 21:26

Except they didn't nab a seat and it was free and available for the op.
Yanbu!

GrumpyOldBiddy2 · 08/07/2015 21:27

I always ask out of courtesy when sitting next to someone who is already seated for this exact reason - because it's important when you are meeting people to sit together. In fact I did this last night at an open evening, checked before sitting down that they weren't waiting for anyone and then moved so that a couple could sit together rather than separately, rather than make them sit separately because I was too stubborn to move.

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky · 08/07/2015 21:28

Nothing wrong with reserving seats imo. As long as they make it obvious that it is reserved by putting a bag or something on the chair. Or at the very least actually tell someone before they seat down that they are saving it instead of waiting until after the person has made themselves comfortable.

TinyManticore · 08/07/2015 21:31

It pisses me off when parents both attend and also bring Granny, Auntie Pam, the next door neighbour's cousin, Uncle Tom Cobbley and all. Limit each family to two tickets each, and have that amount of seating. Then actual mums and dads don't end up having to stand at the back not being able to see anything.

WizardOfToss · 08/07/2015 21:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rockinghorseShit · 08/07/2015 21:35

this reminds me of when we went to a swimming gala. there weren't many seats, and I was breastfeeding DD, so I nabbed one.
I went to the loo, so dh sat there to save the seat for me. he stood up briefly to watch ds's race and a woman sat down on the chair!!! he nearly sat down on her knee, he was livid cheeky cow!

Gabilan · 08/07/2015 21:35

She can't leave a prime seat with nothing on it and then not pay attention to it!

Except the OP says that when she spotted the seat she "nabbed it quickly". So this woman maybe thought anyone wanting to sit down would say "excuse me is this seat taken?" and didn't realise she had to be quite so hawk-like to stop anyone taking it.

I don't think the OP is exactly being unreasonable but it's not the kindest thing to do either.

Were the other seats really so bad? Sometimes you get a better view being a bit further back.

soapboxqueen · 08/07/2015 21:36

I'm impressed your didn't move. I probably would have done.

If they wanted to keep it they should have put a coat on it or something.

Koalafications · 08/07/2015 21:36

Hmm, I think you were a bit mean. Personally, I would have just moved.

CPtart · 08/07/2015 21:38

I've just been at a year 6 end of year show tonight. The amount of "seat saving", several together in one case, was unbelievable. I also believe parents should get priority rows first, grandparents, aunts, uncles etc further back. Not their children.

Teabagbeforemilk · 08/07/2015 21:38

Makes me laugh that people are so concerned that a child grandparent didn't get a good view, but not that fussed about the actual parents view.

maggieryan · 08/07/2015 21:40

Ah the poor little Granny.. Probably unsteady on her legs and wanted to have a little rest before the highlight of her night began....and you come along and ruin her life!!! Yanbu

DragonWithAGirlTattoo · 08/07/2015 21:40

Of course you are NBU!! Ffs if they wanted that seat they should have been sitting in it

Well done op

They all could have moved and you should not have

Gabilan · 08/07/2015 21:42

he stood up briefly to watch ds's race and a woman sat down on the chair!!!

That's happened to me on an airplane, with a booked seat. I found my assigned seat, put a bottle of water and book on it, went to put luggage in overhead locker and some fuckwit had nabbed my seat and sat on my things. Why some dozy twats can't read seat numbers is beyond me. Steward saw my outrage, checked my boarding card, confirmed it was my seat, wedged in with 2 other people. Fortunately the plane wasn't fully booked and he moved me so I had 3 seats all on my own. Bliss.

AuntyMag10 · 08/07/2015 21:44

Both the kids got a chance to get a clear view of their mums so it's fair. Poor little granny can shift to the back.

TheRealMaryMillington · 08/07/2015 21:56

YANBU

It's well out of order for a whole family to bagsy the front row, especially if one of them's not there yet.

If they had all arrived together and she'd gone for a mingle that would have been different.

Gabilan · 08/07/2015 22:01

"If they had all arrived together and she'd gone for a mingle that would have been different"

Genuine question - how is that different? Because it seems that the problem is not getting 2 or 3 seats together, or reserving a seat but not physically being in it, but just not having arrived yet. I'm just wondering where people draw the line.

DoJo · 08/07/2015 22:03

I know that attending school plays was the highlight of my Gran's year (she didn't get out much) and it would have really spoilt it for her sitting away from family and surrounded by strangers.

If it was that important to the gran, then one of the other members of the family could have given her their seat and switched to one elsewhere - if they weren't prepared to swap so that she could sit at the front, then why should the OP be?

RiverTam · 08/07/2015 22:07

Parents trump grandparents, surely? And for goodness sakes, they're all adults aren't they, and not joined at the hip?

wafflyversatile · 08/07/2015 22:13

If she'd said straight away then I would have said YABU. But she delayed and presumably in that delay the next best seats you could have taken would have been taken by others so you snooze you lose.

Olddear · 08/07/2015 22:13

I wouldn't have moved either. You got there first. Hate people 'keeping seats' we all want to see!

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