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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not have given up my seat

140 replies

bookbag40 · 08/07/2015 20:54

End of year show at school today. I was going on my own as husband couldn't get time off work.

So all the parents pile into the hall and I spot a lone seat on the front row I nabbed it quickly as both sons had a good role and I really wanted to get a good view.

About 30 seconds after I had sat down the lady I was sat next to turned to me and said excuse me we are saving that seat for my MIL. I said oh we can't reserve seats and continued to sit there.

Then she said but we want to sit together as a family. Again I said that you couldn't reserve seats at the show. Of course by this time seats were filling up and the only seats were further back and I didn't want to move and didn't feel I should have to.
Anyway the MIL came over and I just ignored her looking straight ahead. She eventually got a seat further back and the lady next to me continued to huff and puff and shoot me dirty glances through the show.
I think was in the right but she clearly thought I was unreasonable - surely its first come first serve and she couldn't demand that I moved!

OP posts:

SleepIsOverrated · 08/07/2015 22:17

More to the point, surely since time began, you reserve seats by putting a coat or bag or something on them, making it completely obvious that someone else is sitting there.

Think you're a bit unreasonable to assume you need a better seat because your children have bigger roles though - as the parent of a child who only ever gets walk on rent a crowd parts, I need a good seat so I can actually see the 30 seconds of glory. At least if your child has a speaking part, you'll hear them!

Samcro · 08/07/2015 22:21

yanbu
you were sat in the seat.
it was yours

WalkingThePlank · 08/07/2015 22:22

YANBU based entirely on a parent trumping a grandparent.

At DS's show the front row was taken up entirely by 1 family, several of whom videoed the entire performance blocking other parents' views. Perhaps they could have let us all have a copy.

BreconBeBuggered · 08/07/2015 22:24

One year I was still helping to arrange seats at the back of the school hall when one of those Uncle Tom Cobleigh and all families sneaked in before the doors had opened and started arranging themselves across both front rows. I scarpered down to the front and nipped into the last available front seat before the biggest, youngest man (uncle to one of the chorus, if that makes a difference) could get to it. His face when he had to sit in the second row when I refused to shift for him was priceless. It was a bit mean of me, but in that situation it was dog eat dog.

lem73 · 08/07/2015 22:25

I hate it when family groups hog the best seats at school performances. Often at our school you you get one going early and grabbing the best seats for grandparents, aunties etc. Well done for saying no.

neolara · 08/07/2015 22:32

I think that was a bit mean. sorry.

ENormaSnob · 08/07/2015 22:41

Yanbu

lem73 · 08/07/2015 22:42

If I'd been the other woman, I'd probably have given up my seat for granny rather than ask someone to give up theirs.

TheRealMaryMillington · 08/07/2015 22:50

Gabilan - because in that case she would have got there first. As it was, the OP did.

But this lot were doubly wrong as its vv selfish for more than 2 people from one family to nab front row seats.

CainInThePunting · 08/07/2015 22:56

YANBU.
if MIL turned up 5 mins later she obviously didn't arrive with them.

PtolemysNeedle · 08/07/2015 22:58

YANBU. I don't have a problem with people reserving seats for parents, but it's a bit much to expect parents to have a shit view for the sake of grandparents. I always used to reserve a seat for exdp, but he had to rush from work with limited time and I was usually able to get there early so I could get seats near the front.

Well done you for standing your ground.

ElkTheory · 08/07/2015 23:08

I would have moved, assuming the woman asked politely.

PixiePuffs · 08/07/2015 23:09

don't think I would be that wound up not getting a front row seat for a school play! I think you were a bit petty not to let the gran sit next to the mum to watch but this view appears to be in the minority.

WanderingTrolley1 · 08/07/2015 23:11

I'd have moved. I would have felt really mean if I didn't.

SeenSheen · 08/07/2015 23:21

Tabby. It's unfair for extended family to take the best seats. They could have all moved back if they wanted to be together or given one up for her.
Our school only allows maximum of two tickets per family.

AmIthatsummery · 08/07/2015 23:25

Can't believe the posters calling the OP mean and petty.

If they wanted to all sit together, they should have gone in together.

Unless the seats were pre-booked, then OP has every right to sit in a vacant seat

Indantherene · 08/07/2015 23:32

YWNBU. Last school thing I went to the whole front row was taken up by just 3 families (each with granny, auntie, neighbour etc). In front of me was a woman with her teen, her teen's GF and her mother. The teens spent the entire play making sarky comments about other people's children - did they even need to be there?

Lurkedforever1 · 08/07/2015 23:48

Yanbu. I find it's quite common to find a few families that feel the need to attend anything of that nature with 89 members of their extended family and expect those of us who attend in more reasonable numbers to squeeze in round the edges/ the back to accommodate them. So 2 kids get to see every fucker with any tenuous link to them and the rest of the class get to see half an ear or so. Which is why we now have to get tickets or invites

ReginaBlitz · 09/07/2015 00:02

I think a parent gets rights over a gran Ffs it's horrible when you see your kids looking for you when they are in a play. Tbf the front row hoggers are usually those whose dc are playing trees

bloodyteenagers · 09/07/2015 00:03

This year something new was tried. It was awesome and something other schools should look into.

First it involved ticket only. Two shows and everything cross checked to ensure the same people didn't attend both shows..

Then at the door, you handed over your ticket and in return you were given a seat number... Oh but xx is just parking can you not give
Me their number? No,
You can always go to the back and wait..
To make things really interesting numbers didn't start at the front.

It was the older students idea.
After watching for years the same people hogging the front seats.

Cameras where also banned. Again older children where fed up of the constant distraction of flashing and people standing up at various times, and fed up of the extreme calling kids names to get their attention during the performance. The
Whole thing was filmed by the school, discreetly from a few angles and then edited together. Cost parents less than a quid.

wafflyversatile · 09/07/2015 00:12

But if it's petty for a mum not to give the front row seat to a gran for something not worth getting wound up about like a school play then it is even more petty to get wound up about a gran losing out on a front row seat to a mum at something as insignificant as a school play.

Lurkedforever1 · 09/07/2015 00:14

I've noticed the camera thing too, funnily enough it's alway the front row hoggers who are the worst culprits. Everything from great grand dad setting up his wind up and tripod in the aisle to uncle arsehole with enough equipment to restock the bbc, and of course at least alternate front row thieves waving iPads. Bonus points if you send the toddler, in between its shouting, up to the front waving an iPhone when it's not even their sibling on so you can loudly comment on the sweetness, lest any other parent should actually get chance to to see their child

BabyFeets · 09/07/2015 00:16

I would of got up because I just can't be bothered with people giving me evils but I think you did the right thing. End of the day she never paid for it and I'm assuming there was more than two of them so why should they all get the good seats, there's other family's.

ArmySal · 09/07/2015 00:30

YANBU. As said by others, you should take precedence for a good seat over a Grandmother. Hate seat hoggers, should ideally be first come first served.

6cats3gingerkittens · 09/07/2015 02:31

Meant.

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