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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have another baby

136 replies

wibbleywee · 31/05/2015 19:00

I currently have a 22 month old dd and a 3 month old ds. I work for the council and took a full year off with my first and returned 4 months pregnant with my second and am having another year off now. I am broody yet again and would love another later in the year, I became pregnant the first month of trying with both children so can hopefully plan quite well. AIBU to return to work pregnant again and have another year off?

OP posts:
KindergartenKop · 31/05/2015 19:09

This won't go down well but yes I think yab a bit u.

If I were in your shoes I'd do a year back at work before going off on maternity leave.

JackShit · 31/05/2015 19:24

You would be taking the piss.

VelvetRose · 31/05/2015 19:25

I know everyone thinks it is outrageous to say this but yes I do think that's bu.

RandomMess · 31/05/2015 19:27

I know you're broody but think very carefully about letting your body fully recover and whether long term you can afford another child. They are inexpensive whilst young but it's a shock how much everything costs as they get older...

Cantbelievethisishappening · 31/05/2015 19:29

My own personal view is that YABU.
As contentious as it is it is people like you who make it harder for women to be considered on an equal footing as men in the job market. It is not right but it is no secret.

BolshierAyraStark · 31/05/2015 19:31

I also think YABU, it's down to people like you that it's so hard for women to be taken seriously in the workplace.

MrsGoslingWannabe · 31/05/2015 19:32

Aren't you breastfeeding?

schokolade · 31/05/2015 19:33

What's that got to do with it Mrs?

VelvetRose · 31/05/2015 19:33

I should add that I work in a school where that would cause a lot of upheaval for the children plus my boss is amazingly kind and loyal. If you work in a place where they are inconsiderate and would think nothing of shafting you at a moments notice I can understand a little bit more why you might do that.

MrsGoslingWannabe · 31/05/2015 19:34

Only LA employees would do this. Just remember its local people paying for all your time off through Council Tax.

KindergartenKop · 31/05/2015 19:34

Should she be bf? Is it a legal requirement? It doesn't always work as a contraceptive anyway!

undoubtedly · 31/05/2015 19:34

Do what you want.

It makes no difference in the long term if you take three maternity periods off in a short or a long space of time.

You might damage your long term career prospects, but if you don't mind about that then take the time off if you're entitled to it.

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 31/05/2015 19:37

How long were you in post before your first maternity leave?

VelvetRose · 31/05/2015 19:37

That's rubbish MrsGosling! Why on earth would you say that?!

ilovesooty · 31/05/2015 19:38

I agree with those who think that people like you make it much harder for women to be taken seriously in the work place. Of course you have the right to take maternity leave when you like but your work could hardly be blamed for getting fed up with you being off more than you are there. How long have you worked there?

Feminine · 31/05/2015 19:41

I think you need to think about this a little longer.
What does your partner say?

raindrops99 · 31/05/2015 19:45

YANBU. Go ahead if you want to.

If you want to have 3 children you'll be taking 3 maternity leaves anyway

I know careers and money are important - but there's more to life.

I'm speaking as someone who's just had a second late miscarriage - and I feel you should go for it as there is no guarantees in life.

yorkshapudding · 31/05/2015 19:48

Although, technically, you would be within your rights to do this I think you need to accept that it will cause a great deal of resentment from your colleagues and you would have no hope of being taken seriously when you do eventually go back. I would be very surprised if they didn't find some way to sack you to be honest. I'm not saying it's right but it does happen. Obviously they couldn't state the real reason and would have to justify it another way but with all the cuts happening to local authority services at the moment I think you would be taking a big risk.

Icimoi · 31/05/2015 19:54

I would leave it for a year for all sorts of reasons. It isn't that great for your body to have three pregnancies within three years, and having three children under 3 will be very difficult. Additionally, councils are having to make lots of cuts, and if they never see you you're liable to become one of the first candidates for redundancy.

Purplepoodle · 31/05/2015 20:50

Personally I'd wait a bit. I had 3 under 5 and its a huge change from 2. I'd go back to work, let yourself get settled then try say 6 months in.

OwlinaTree · 31/05/2015 20:54

I would think YABU to plan this, sorry. I wouldn't take you seriously at work after doing that twice.

YoniMitchell · 31/05/2015 21:01

I join the YABUs on this. Sad as it is, it's this kind of thing that makes y harder for all women planning, going or having been on mat leave to be taken seriously in the workplace.

Plus there are the very valid arguments for giving your body a break between pregnancies.

LokiBear · 31/05/2015 21:08

Another angle to consider; when you do go back to work will you having to pay for 3 children to be looked after? How much will that cost you? Could you afford it? There will be at least a 5 year age gap between my children because I can't afford to have two in nursery full time, nor can I afford to be a sahm. To answer your question, I think ywbu. For the same reasons as others have given.

LokiBear · 31/05/2015 21:15

So invite him and his go to dinner regularly. Work on rebuilding your relationship. You might find a bit of space is what you need.

LokiBear · 31/05/2015 21:17

My phone is acting the goat. Sorry if a reply to another post has posted here.

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