to have another baby

[wibbleywee]

I currently have a 22 month old dd and a 3 month old ds. I work for the council and took a full year off with my first and returned 4 months pregnant with my second and am having another year off now. I am broody yet again and would love another later in the year, I became pregnant the first month of trying with both children so can hopefully plan quite well. AIBU to return to work pregnant again and have another year off?

Do you want another baby or another year off?

If you want a baby go for it. You are not in any way unreasonable despite what others say here. I personally would wait until the pregnancy hormones have died down a bit. Three is a lot more work than two. But if you're prepared physically, emotionally and financially, then it's your decision.

You are taking the piss. Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

A lady in my husband's office did this, he works for the NHS. When she did come back, things had changed so much she had trouble adjusting. Within months her job was 'at risk' so she was moved onto a different position for less pay. Not saying it should happen but it does, everyone else was pretty pissed off with her too.

People like you are the reason women face more discrimination in the work place. YABU.

I know someone who did this, her career briefly stagnated but she got her leave all out of the way quickly and within 5 years of her return after child #3 was (and has remained) one of the most senior people (never mind women) in her field globally. You need to do what's right for you, but consider whether you simply aren't ready to return to work rather than actively wanting to have a third child so quickly. Good luck whatever you decide!

If you want another baby because you both want the baby, and Can afford the time off, the childcare and raising the child without relying on benefits then it is up to you. If you just want time off, or would need benefits to manage you need to think very hard. Kids just get more demanding and more expensive as they get older, and your body needs time to recover.

What does other half think?

These responses make me very sad. You are well within your rights to do this. As a society we should be supporting mums to balance work and families. It benefits everyone and legally your work cannot penalise you. What difference does it make if you have your 3 sets of leave close together or far apart? Together is probably less disruptive long term. Do what is right for you and your family. Also your employer only funds the extra over smp. The govt pays the rest in recognition of the valuable work you're doing at home. Good luck.

Do what you want, nobody else's business!

Go for it.

get back to work, stop this nonsense.

Go for it. Ignore the ones saying don't do it, theyre probably bitter about their own experiences.

Jobs will always be about, your fertility wont.

The top regrets of the dying never include work colleagues or their career, family does feature.

How can you be broody with a 12 week old baby?

Plus "aibu to return to work pregnant again and have another year off" is a not really the question if you're considering going back for a couple of weeks before taking off again. Its more aibu to only attend work for maximum 6 months in a three year period.
The answer is still only your own business though.

Personally I would feel a bit bad about doing this, unless you're in a role which is easy for them to fill. You're obviously within your rights to do so though.

Blimey I bet your colleagues love you....

If they can even remember who you are.

I had 3 kids very close together in 4 years but worked at a different place for the third and for the first 2 we lived in a country where you got paid no maternity pay anyway, so I took very minimal time off. I agree with everyone else in that you coleuages and employers would probably think it was a piss take although you of course are entitled to do it if you want. More importantly I would consider just how stressful it is to have 3 kids under 5 and that it will be very difficult practically and financially to go back to work at all unless you have family to help out, or you have the kind of job which I did whereby I looked after 3 kids under 5 all day and then went to work all night ( not a pleasant option, and to this day I look back and wonder how on earth I did it without making myself very ill !!)

Why not? I know someone who did this in the Civil Service. She was first out in the redundancies though.

I've swung in my opinion a few times after reading the OP. I think YABU for reasons I will outline in a minute but maybe IABU to think that? it's a toughie!

Ok so, first of all, smellyfishead, I am most definitely NOT bitter about any previous experiences as I only have one dc and that is by choice. Just wanted to put that out there before I get jumped on as obviously being bitter about something.

From a work POV I think you are BU. Nobody is indispensible (?sic) or irreplaceable and only providing your services to your employers for about 20% of your entire employment means you are putting your position in a precarious state. You may not care, fair play if you don't.

There are laws that prevent discrimination against women who become pregnant but that doesn't mean they have to be flogged to within an inch of their existence (there's an ancient law that states pregnant women can piss in a policemans hat if she is caught short, doesn't mean I would have done it when I was pregnant!). It is attitudes and piss taking like this that, I feel, makes it very difficult to be taken seriously in the world of employment. Of course it's wrong that women of child bearing age are deemed less employable because they may fall pregnant, but they could end up with an employee like this who they still have to pay whilst on maternity, find a temporary replacement and pay them as well then have to find yet another replacement 4 months after employee returns again.

And will your insides not be a bit of a mess having 3 children in 3 years?

Good luck with keeping your job if you continue to go ahead with this, I feel you may need it (I have a friend who works for the local council and she says they have all kinds of loopholes to get rid of 'troublesome' employees. Not sure how true that is though)

I think YABU just a bit OP, one of my colleagues did a similar thing and it went down very badly.

I had my three in less than four years, maternity leave was shorter then, so it's slightly different but I dont think it's unreasonable. Yes, I was off a lot for a few years, but since then I've worked continuously for 7 years and will for another 30+ in the long term it makes no difference.

I think you know you are being slightly U as why else would you be posting? Sorry. Give your body time to recover and think about it again. You must have an amazing income to afford 3 in childcare. If it is family help, would they object to looking after 3 young children? Um, I would.

Who cares what work think?

Could you cope with and afford another baby? Could you give adequate care to your two other children? That should be all the matters surely?

I think it depends what your long term plan is and what the time between your maternity leaves / relationship with employer has been like. If your plan is to get the childbearing years done in quick succession so you can go back and hen focus on your career then that is one Hong. If you have no intention of returning after baby no.3 that is another. You should not be discriminated against because you have chosen to have another child but at the same time I doubt it will go down well with your workplace, though I have no idea what your relationship with work is like.

How has your relationship with employer been between the two mat leaves? Did you get stuck in after returning?

How much do the council pay? :o I think I'm going to look for a job at the council if it means I can afford childcare for 3!

Do what you like op. It's no one else's business