to have another baby

[wibbleywee]

I currently have a 22 month old dd and a 3 month old ds. I work for the council and took a full year off with my first and returned 4 months pregnant with my second and am having another year off now. I am broody yet again and would love another later in the year, I became pregnant the first month of trying with both children so can hopefully plan quite well. AIBU to return to work pregnant again and have another year off?

I'd say yabu but because you aren't giving much time for your body to recover.

My sister had her youngest 2 within 14 months (so 4/5 months after the other was born). She's riddled with gynaecological problems now.

Wait another 8-10 months - your body will thank you.

I think yabu. Not just from a work perspective but also your body does need time to recover!

The only woman I know who has done this wasn't a public sector worker but worked for a law firm. So the "public sector workers take the piss" attitude is not accurate in my experience.

I would argue that for even large or public sector organisations, there is always a cost of covering mat leave, albeit not to the same level as smaller companies. I'm NHS. If 2 staff in our department are on mat leave, that's over 30 new patient appointents a week we can't offer. Our waiting list goes up, managers panic. The rest of the staff get extra patients booked into every available gap, losing our minimal administration time, so we end up staying late regularly to do paperwork. Or an expensive locum has to be brought in for a short period out of our diminishing budget. So we can't replace gym equipment when it breaks. Any responsibilities, like audit or supervision, have to be picked up by someone else, on top of their own.

Sorry, rambling. This is not directed at the OP, I just disagree with the inference that large/public sector companies can just cope without any real impact to their staff, service users or finances. Especially when Joe Public/the media then enjoy bitching so much about how entitled public sector workers apparently are, or if the quality of the service dips.

Would people here rather live in the US where there's no maternity leave?

Either maternity leave is ok or it isn't. Why should some women be entitled to it but others not?

I don't think anyone here who's taken mat leave has any right to tell the OP she shouldn't.

Ime employees on mat leave are replaced by someone on a short term contract. Other workers' workload shouldn't be affected. If employers aren't replacing the woman on leave that is a managerial deficit of theirs- it isn't the fault of the woman who took her rightful leave.

It doesn't matter what women do we get the blame. Work, sahm, no DCs, 3 DCs, we'll always be criticised!

Remember that 3 months is a time of changing hormones, and that can kick start broodiness. Sit tight for a bit and it may pass and you can reassess with a clear head.

Ime employees on mat leave are replaced by someone on a short term contract. Other workers' workload shouldn't be affected. If employers aren't replacing the woman on leave that is a managerial deficit of theirs- it isn't the fault of the woman who took her rightful leave.

Sorry Athena but this is really naive. Even if a short-term replacement is in the budget (which it rarely is, since pregnancies cannot be predicted), you are assuming that there is a person willing and skilled enough to perform the role for a year or however long the mat leave is. This might be true for entry level work but in my field (law) and in any other profession from actuaries to undertakers it's rare as hen's teeth to find someone with the right experience who only wants a job for 6 months. Over the course of my 10 year career, I have covered 7 maternity leaves - those left behind are simply expected to absorb the work (and sorry, but this does impact adversely on men and childless women).

I am a partner in a law firm and I fully support any employee taking maternity/paternity leave. However, it does women no favours at all to pretend there is zero impact on the business or on colleagues as a consequence - it just makes them look daft.

I don't really get when people think the "right time" to have maternity leave is? If you want 3 children you're going to take 3 gaps in your career anyway I don't really see the difference between having those close together or far apart, you either have shorter gaps to begin with or go back permanently later, neither are ideal for employers but tbqh that is something for them to deal with and raising children is an important job too!

I am at a loss as to how anyone with a 12 week old baby can be feeling broody... But that said, the mat leave policy is the mat leave policy and you are of course within your rights to use it.

Your colleagues however are human and I would expect there to be a bit of eyebrow raising, and I imagine it will be hard to slot back in.

But I keep coming back to the broody thing - why not just enjoy the two very small children you have for a while? How will you manage childcare for 3 when you do go back to work?

We had an employee do a hatrick maternity....took a year off with each dc and had an extra 6 months sick leave before maternity for last dc. Came back demanded lifestyle and flex working agreement and then had 6 months off with stress and tribunal before 'leaving'.

In 5 years employment she probably worked about 6 months.

Her slot 'permanent' contract was covered by temps who filled in but we're sadly never taken on.

I am not sure about 'being broody' again already, either. It sounds to me like a well thought out strategy with to get to be a SAHM for as long as possible while being paid as a working mum on maternity leave for as long as possible, but doing as little actual work as possible, before you finally hand your notice in at the point you are expected to go back after DC3. It just sounds like nothing more than a cynical cunning plan to me.

Ah, see, I totally get the broody-so-soon thing. After my second baby was born I was immediately broody and it lasted about a year. As soon as she was walking and starting to talk etc, it wore off. I think its hormones and being blissed out with the baby stage that can do this.

Whatever you do, and all the palaver about the work/financial side of things aside, if I were you I'd wait a year and see how you feel. Another baby might sound cute...but three small children and eventually having to return to work and having to sort childcare = not so much fun. You may feel very differently...