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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel that when DH buys me flowers ...

147 replies

ceeb · 15/03/2015 00:12

...that he should arrange them in a vase for me as well?

DH just brought home flowers for me tonight in advance of Mum's Day. Don't get me wrong, I love getting flowers but somehow it feels almost like DH is handing me a chore instead of a present. I hate flower arranging. He sat down, smiling, all proud of himself for remembering, while I had to find a vase, fill it with water, find the scissors to add the flower food, trim the stems, stuff them in the vase, find somewhere to put it, and clear up all the leaves/stems/plastic detritus. Does anyone else feel this way?

OP posts:
Samcro · 15/03/2015 00:13

just ask him too

ShiftyFades · 15/03/2015 00:14

No, I never arrange flowers when I buy them for my mum / friends. I have never known anyone to do that (unless at hospital).

MaudeLebowski · 15/03/2015 00:16

Surely bunging them in water isn't that much of a task?

VanitasVanitatum · 15/03/2015 00:17

Hmm ungrateful much?!

RandomNPC · 15/03/2015 00:19

YABVVVVVVU. Poor bloke doesn't stand a chance, does he?

squoosh · 15/03/2015 00:19

'I had to find a vase, fill it with water, find the scissors to add the flower food, trim the stems, stuff them in the vase, find somewhere to put it, and clear up all the leaves/stems/plastic detritus.'

Find a vase? Shock
Fill it with water? oh my!
Find a scissors? Scissors are dangerous!
Add the flower food? Possible chemicals!
Trim the stems? Scissors are still dangerous!
Find somewhere to put it! Like we have tables and window sills just lying around waiting to be adorned with flowers!
Clear up! Exhausting!

Let's all pray for the OP.

steff13 · 15/03/2015 00:19

When you list all the tasks out like that, it sounds like a lot, but it actually takes what, one or two minutes total? Not all that much work in the scheme of things.

twomorecats · 15/03/2015 00:21

I feel the same. I'm not really that bothered about flowers they're more for the house so it'd be a more complete gesture.

JohnCusacksWife · 15/03/2015 00:23

God, I feel sorry for your DH. You sound like hard work....

RJnomore · 15/03/2015 00:23

I'm not keen on flowers.

They're dead to start ?ith.

KillmeNow · 15/03/2015 00:24

I think that too. Every time I having to scrabble about looking for a vase to fit the flowers ( which I have shopped for a bought ready for use).I hate the responsibility they bring having to ensure they remain looking as nice as possible for the duration of their loveliness. They will soon enough be beyond retrieving.

But judging on the replies so far all we are wrong .

Women must be grateful for the nice things our men bring us even if it makes more work for us.

JohnCusacksWife · 15/03/2015 00:26

More work? FFS, it's bunging some flowers in a vase! You make it sound like the labours of Hercules.

MiddleAgedandConfused · 15/03/2015 00:30

YABU - off the scale

steff13 · 15/03/2015 00:31

squoosh, your response made me laugh out loud. Then I read it again and laughed again.

MiddleAgedandConfused · 15/03/2015 00:31

I guess chocolates are the same.
You have to unwrap them. choose the one you like, put it in your mouth, chew, swallow, digest and then.... it's exhausting,

ihatemyphone99 · 15/03/2015 00:32

#prayforceeb

squoosh · 15/03/2015 00:32

'having to scrabble around looking for a vase'

Why are you scrabbling? How many places can the vases be kept.

'I hate the responsibility they bring'

You do know we're talking about a bunch of flowers don't you? They're quite independent.

'Women must be grateful for the nice things our men bring us even if it makes more work for us.'

I hope the next nice thing you're given is a big fat spliff to chill you out.

VikingVolva · 15/03/2015 00:35

I've felt like that. With hindsight, it was untreated depression.

Is there anything else you're finding tough or overwhelming?

skinoncustard · 15/03/2015 00:35

Obviously he can't do right for doing wrong!
I've never heard anyone think that arranging a gift of flowers is a chore!
Chocolate - that cellophane can be tricky!!!
Wine- the top/ cork can be time consuming to open!!!
Jewellery- those little boxes can be a fiddle !!!
Nothing - well that would considered lazy / unthoughtful!!!!!!

NickiFury · 15/03/2015 00:35

Blimey you sound hard to please. Why don't you tell him what you've written here and I am sure he won't bother ever again, problem solved.

My ex took our children out this morning. I hate him and he hates me but they turned up with a bouquet of white roses for Mothers Day. They're my favourite flower and also the flowers I had at our wedding. It helped to thaw a tiny little splinter of ice in my heart towards him.

HellKitty · 15/03/2015 00:35

Eeeh Squoosh you make me laugh!

And op. Be grateful. I don't even have a vase, my last flowers were split between an old goldfish bowl and a Stella pint glass. Always classy me.

NickiFury · 15/03/2015 00:35

Middleaged that made me Grin.

squoosh · 15/03/2015 00:37

Yes MiddleAged, I feel exhausted just reading about your taxing tale of chocolate gifts. Why are people so cruel?

Fairenuff · 15/03/2015 00:37

I know what you mean OP. Last time dh bought me a box of chocolates I had to mess about with that silly cellophane wrapper, read the whole list of what's what to find my favourite, work my way through the whole box and put the empties in the recycling. It was such a faff. I don't know why he doesn't just eat them himself Angry

AgentZigzag · 15/03/2015 00:37

Grin at squoosh.

YABU OP, your DH can't win.