to feel that when DH buys me flowers ...

[ceeb]

...that he should arrange them in a vase for me as well?

DH just brought home flowers for me tonight in advance of Mum's Day. Don't get me wrong, I love getting flowers but somehow it feels almost like DH is handing me a chore instead of a present. I hate flower arranging. He sat down, smiling, all proud of himself for remembering, while I had to find a vase, fill it with water, find the scissors to add the flower food, trim the stems, stuff them in the vase, find somewhere to put it, and clear up all the leaves/stems/plastic detritus. Does anyone else feel this way?

Jesus you are ungrateful! I would love flowers, I never get any!

YABVU and I feel sorry for your dh

I would shove the flowers up his arse for this heinous crime!

I agree OP and I think most others would here if they weren't wilfully being difficult because it's AIBU

It's not the I would actually want/ask/expect DH to do it, but it is a faff. My DM can keep a bunch of flowers going for weeks by removing faded blooms and wilted leaves and changing the water daily. Me, I chuck them out as soon as the first one looks a bit sorry for itself.

This is why daffs are my favourites. No arranging to do, no leaves to remove and cheap so I don't have to feel guilty about chucking them.

Oh yes, the overwhelming responsibility of caring for flowers. All that rushing home from work early to check they're OK

Nope, I get you, loud and clear. YANBU.

Because looking after flowers IS a chore, it is a really daft idea to bring them to a new mother.

I love receiving flowers and v rarely get any (I tend to buy them myself), but I think it is a bit disingenuous to pretend that they don't need some looking after.

Yay, DS1 has just presented me with 2 bunches of daffs (low maintenance flowers) and a card he's signed "love from". He's 13 and getting "love" in a card is a very very big deal.....

My DH occasionally brings flowers, which is lovely. But he always brings lilies which I don't like - the smell, the pollen getting on everything. Should I be grateful that he's bought flowers AT ALL, or would I rather he listened to me when I mention the ones I DO like?
And yy to the mess of flower detritus when I'm trying to cook tea/go to work/help with homework.

Nobody else seems to agree with you..but I do. It is an extra chore. Totally get what you're saying. YANBU.

I'll swap your flowers for fhe very large box of chocolates bought by my teenage sons - shows how much they listen as this week I've "hinted" heavily about how much I like simple bunches of tulips - and spent weeks reporting back on my progress at Slimming World!! Would never complain though.

I've just mentioned this thread to DH and now he is royally pissed off at me having the same sentiment as the OP .
And there aren't even any flowers here….
AND I quite like the faff that comes with flower arranging.
Ah well.

Alpaca, a box of chocolate does not die if you don't give it swift attention… . And tastes better than flowers.

supersop, I think the gift of flowers would be a more considered one if he actually took your preferences in to account.
But clearly us little wimmin should just be grateful that he deigns to give us anything at all…

I am tempted to go buy DH some flowers and let him get on with it

I like arranging flowers in a vase, makes me come over all arty farty.

Tulips are my favourite.

Ha ha how strange! I was just reading this as DH was nicely arranging my flowers in the kitchen!

I'm a happier person since I stopped trimming the stems and stripping the stems of leaves and trying to arrange flowers nicely. Now I just pull off the wrapper and plonk them in a vase. It makes it a lot easier to appreciate floral gifts.

LTB!!!!!

I hate getting flowers, so YABU for being happy to receive them.

First world problem OP.

I also hate having flowers. They are just there, on my side slowly dying. I have to keep looking at them to check they haven't crossed the boundary of pretty to dead. I find owning them stressful. I hate cutting them and arranging them and clearing up their bits. They annoy me with their presence in my home.

Someone actually had the nerve to bring me some when I had just had a baby. Two living things to care for almost pushed me over the edge!

See, I disagree re the First World problem: it's not about flowers, it's about consideration and also this idea that having divested oneself of the obligation to get a gift ones job is done. It is about respect IMO.
And yes, there are many women in the world who have far bigger problems wrt to respect and value of their work than popping a bunch of flowers in a vase, but it's all in the same vein IMO.

I love flower arranging, but not at 12am. Is that what the problem was OP? I'd have left them on the side and popped them in water this morning.

Just ask the giver to put them in the vase then, if it is such a big deal

So my DH doesn't respect me because he buys me flowers without putting them in a vase?!

Think I may have heard it all now.

I think you got away quite lucky OP.
Imagine if it had been a night out?
Or a surprise weekend away?
Think of all that faff........

Flowers do last a lot better if you take off the bottom leaves off and cut the stems so it's not as simple as stick in a vase. I think it's a fairly small task though and well worth it to then enjoy the flowers. If you don't enjoy it ask DH to do it. He might enjoy it.