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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

IWBU but by how much?-waiting in a disabled space?

267 replies

CrohnicallyAnxious · 07/11/2014 19:59

Mitigating circumstances:
Waiting for a family member who has recently had serious surgery and can't walk far, or stand for long and isn't supposed to be out in the cold/wet to come out of the doctors
I knew she was on her way out so would only be there a few minutes at most
The only other available spaces were on the other side of the car park
There is no designated waiting or pick up area, and narrow lanes/one way round the car park meant nowhere to pull over and wait without blocking any other drivers
There was more than one disabled space so I wasn't depriving anyone of the ability to park
I waited in the car and would have seen if the other spaces became in use and would have moved to allow a bb holder to park in mine if need be

I pulled into the BB space as it seemed the most sensible thing to do at the time, but in the maybe 2 or 3 minutes I was there (same song was still playing on the radio) 3 people came past and gave me dirty looks. So how unreasonable was I to have used the BB space to pick up my family member?

OP posts:

Charitybelle · 07/11/2014 20:04

NU. As long as there were other spaces available and you didn't leave the car at any point.
If all the other spaces became full, I would expect you to leave automatically as a BB holder shouldn't have to come into the car park, check out who has badges on their cars or not and ask you to leave the space if they need it. That would be UR. As it stands I don't think you did anything wrong.

lougle · 07/11/2014 20:05

NBU if no one needed to park, but it would have been better to circle the car park until you saw the family member.

Charitybelle · 07/11/2014 20:05

Lots of people coming in and out of my Drs surgery have seemingly permanent cats bum face. It may not have even been anything to do with your parking and lack of BB...?

MiddletonPink · 07/11/2014 20:09

If you park in a disabled spot without a bb you will get cats bum faces pulled at you.

And rightly so.

How are people supposed to know you're waiting for a family member that has had recent surgery?

fairylightsintheloft · 07/11/2014 20:12

I think the fact that the OP was in the car and there were other vacant BB spaces mean in this situation the cats bums were uncalled for (if they were in fact aimed at the OP). I don't think anyone would defend the OP if she had parked in the last space and left the car for any reason but the exact specifics DO make a difference.

ArkhamOffett · 07/11/2014 20:13

I'd have circled. No BB, no parking or waiting in BB spaces.

Stclares · 07/11/2014 20:15

Parking in a disabled spot without a bb is illegal. Don't do it. It drives me insane that some people think they've got a right to park there. They don't. If I was in the same car park as you, I would have asked you to move, very politely.

MiddletonPink · 07/11/2014 20:15

Yeah I suppose.
But people don't know that the OP would have moved if the other disabled places were taken.

They just see someone without a bb in a disabled place.

Original poster

CrohnicallyAnxious · 07/11/2014 20:22

Thank you. Maybe they were just permanent cats' bum faces? Or maybe they saw toddler DD and thought I was just an entitled parent pulling in here for PFB's benefit?

I think there ought to be some sort of scheme for a temporary BB, my relative can't get a BB because her condition is expected to be temporary, but it has meant she has been more or less housebound until very recently, apart from trips to the hospital or doctors and even then she needed at least 2 adults to help (so one could fetch a wheelchair and wheel her in while the other parked the car in a non-BB space)

OP posts:

RevoltingPeasant · 07/11/2014 20:36

I would have parked the other side of the car park, gone in with relative, and when she came out had her wait in the surgery waiting room whilst I brought the car round. She could have waited say 2-3 min and then come out the front.

Andrewofgg · 07/11/2014 20:41

I would rather fry my dangly bits in oil than park in a disabled space without the right to do so - but waiting, in the car, ready to move at once if the space is needed with arrangements to circle until the rellie is ready for pick-up - that's not parking.

When DW was recovering from her knee jobs I regularly dropped her right outside the supermarket, on a BB space, and then parked properly; then picked her up at the same spot.When the BB spots were taken I stopped next to them and ignored the hooting - which stopped when I got her crutches off the back seat!

Rivercam · 07/11/2014 20:52

The Blue Badge scheme only applies to council car parks, not supermarket car parks. Therefore, it's not illegal for non-disabled people to park in these spots.

My fil got a blue badge following an operation that meant his foot was in plaster for several months. I think there should be a scheme for people who,are temporarily disabled and also that the disabled spots can be used by the elderly also.

Very rarely do I see all the disabled parking bays used, so I think you were perfectly fine, especially as there were other sizes available.

BeyondPreparedForHell · 07/11/2014 20:59

The thing is, you may well have intended to move if someone needed the space, but how would they know that? And how would you know who needed the space?

I think yabu, if your engine was running there was no reason not to wait outside of a space.

WooWooOwl · 07/11/2014 21:00

I don't think ywbu. The dirty looks you got could well have been more about those people's personal circumstances than about you, but you were obviously questioning yourself anyway, so it would have been easy for you to take their looks as personal when they weren't.

BeyondPreparedForHell · 07/11/2014 21:01

Temporary disability or healthy old age is bugger all like being disabled

KnackeredMuchly · 07/11/2014 21:02

Ywnbu. I've parked in one once, in a needs must for someone that didn't have a BB but needed extra support.

As long as there were other convenient disabled places.

raltheraffe · 07/11/2014 21:03

My husband has a BB.
I only ever get annoyed when a non-disabled person takes the LAST space. If there was a spare BB space you have not deprived any disabled people of the chance to use the BB parking and I think you should not worry about it.

Bearbehind · 07/11/2014 21:04

If someone was in the car they wouldn't necesarily have displayed their BB anyway would they?

I hate driving with anything reflecting off the dashboard into the windscreen so certainly wouldn't leave a BB there all the time if I had one.

If there were other BB spaces available then I don't see a problem.

BeyondPreparedForHell · 07/11/2014 21:06

So, lots of people who dont have BBs dont see the problem, anyone who does have one that thinks its okay?

silverlace · 07/11/2014 21:07

It was fine, you weren't depriving anyone of a space.

I had a major parking dilemma this week. I had to take my son to A&E. The car park electronic sign said spaces - one of those that counts how many cars are in. Took a ticket and drove in to find that others were looking for spaces. A car park attendant came over and said that there weren't any spaces but there were disabled spaces at the back of the car park and I should use one of them. He was also directing other drivers to these spaces.

So what to do after reading hundreds of threads on here? I parked in the space and sat there for a few minutes weighing up the situation. Child needing A&E (not life threatening but sent by GP), no other spaces and I had been told to park there, I would not have done if I had not been told to. Sorry Mumsnet parking wardens but I stayed in the space and took my DS into A&E where we received excellent care and were in and out quite quickly, back to the car, no ticket and lots of free spaces.

hhhhhhh · 07/11/2014 21:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dawndonnaagain · 07/11/2014 21:11

The Blue Badge scheme only applies to council car parks, not supermarket car parks. Therefore, it's not illegal for non-disabled people to park in these spots.
Whilst they are a courtesy in a supermarket, they are not in anything considered a public carpark, not just council carparks, or the highway.
It is illegal to park in them in, for example, schools.

OP. I'm sorry, you were wrong. I'm sorry your family member has been housebound for a while. My dh will have been housebound for five years next march. He was recently told he won't be getting better.

The last space argument is also irrelavant. It is entirely possible that I come along with dh and my son comes along, at the same time with my dd. Flu clinic for example.

lomega · 07/11/2014 21:11

lol @ 'Cats bum face'. Delightful expression.

On topic, I don't think you were BU as long as you were checking/aware of your surroundings and would have moved if a BB holder came along looking for a space. You were also waiting for a relative that wasn't very well so it's not like you just parked and walked off without a single fuck given/no BB.

Bearbehind · 07/11/2014 21:12

So, lots of people who dont have BBs dont see the problem, anyone who does have one that thinks its okay?

What could they possibly complain about?

There were other BB spaces available and, given the OP was in the car and could move if that ceased to be the case- where's the problem?

BeyondPreparedForHell · 07/11/2014 21:15

I will happily give my bb with anyone on this thread who cares to take my multiple health problems along with it. No? And I offered so nicely...

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