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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

IWBU but by how much?-waiting in a disabled space?

267 replies

CrohnicallyAnxious · 07/11/2014 19:59

Mitigating circumstances:
Waiting for a family member who has recently had serious surgery and can't walk far, or stand for long and isn't supposed to be out in the cold/wet to come out of the doctors
I knew she was on her way out so would only be there a few minutes at most
The only other available spaces were on the other side of the car park
There is no designated waiting or pick up area, and narrow lanes/one way round the car park meant nowhere to pull over and wait without blocking any other drivers
There was more than one disabled space so I wasn't depriving anyone of the ability to park
I waited in the car and would have seen if the other spaces became in use and would have moved to allow a bb holder to park in mine if need be

I pulled into the BB space as it seemed the most sensible thing to do at the time, but in the maybe 2 or 3 minutes I was there (same song was still playing on the radio) 3 people came past and gave me dirty looks. So how unreasonable was I to have used the BB space to pick up my family member?

OP posts:
Dawndonnaagain · 07/11/2014 21:15

In part because many drivers keep their blue badge in the glove box until they've parked due to the high incidence of theft.
It's not okay. It really isn't. I don't care if there are fifty spaces left, if you haven't got a badge, don't use the space.

CharmQuark · 07/11/2014 21:17

OP, if there was another available, unoccupied BB space in the same parking spot, YWNBU.

I have a family member with a BB, a wheelchair user, and the problem is when looking for a space that it isn't possible to ascertain all those 'only a minute' 'engine in, I'll move in a tick ' reasons that BB spaces get taken up. When you're looking for a space it is either occupied, or not.

hhhhhhh · 07/11/2014 21:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bearbehind · 07/11/2014 21:18

That's a very narrow view dawn.

If you are not inconveniencing other BB holders and you have a passenger with a debilitating but thankfully short term condition and, most importantly you are still in the car so can move if anyone is hovering, really, where's the issue?

TheFairyCaravan · 07/11/2014 21:19

I think you should have parked elsewhere, tbh and moved the car when you saw her coming.

Old people shouldn't be able to use BB spaces because they are old. If they are disabled, then their GP can fill in the forms and they can apply for a badge.

It's strange, because when these threads come up, people always say they've never seen all the BB spaces being used. Believe me, as a disabled person, it is a regular occurrence that they are all full, and all too often there are cars there with no BB.

CrashDiveOnMingoCity · 07/11/2014 21:21

I have significant health problems and I have a BB. I'm genuinely not fussed if your circumstances but YABU to expect people to know you're not a chancer. On the other hand, you need to realise that you had another option e.g. circling the car park whereas many people with disabilities don't have other options.

Dawndonnaagain · 07/11/2014 21:22

The issue is, 1) As pointed out there may be more than one person looking for a space.
2)BB may not be in the window so how does the person in the space become aware that a BB holder is looking for a space.
3) And most importantly, there are what, two, maybe three BB spaces in a Doctor's Surgery Car Park. Along with maybe ten or twenty for everyone else. It's not a narrow view, it's an experienced view. I rather think that the viewpoint of anyone parking in a BB badge without a BB is somewhat limited.

CharmQuark · 07/11/2014 21:23

IMO Iomegas scenario is NOT ok. If you are in the space how can you tell which cars coming past need a BB space? How can a wheelchair using driver check along all the cars in spaces and see that one is someone who could be asked to move.

Many many people at hospitals have high needs, we all endure temporary difficulty, and there should be patient drop off and pick up arrangements, but for disabled people it is a way of life.

TheFairyCaravan · 07/11/2014 21:25

There is a petition at the moment to make all BB spaces enforceable because disabled people are sick of things like this.

Like a poster up thread said, she'd have to get out of her car in to her wheelchair to make you aware she needs the space. I'd have to mess about getting my sticks out of the car and performing extra painful manoeuvres that I shouldn't have to do.

It's okay saying you'd be a couple of minutes, and you'd move if necessary, but that's what everyone says and it's not always true.

BeyondPreparedForHell · 07/11/2014 21:27

Come on now, all people with disabilities have 'warning- special needs' tattooed on their foreheads (and sprayed on the bonnet of their car), so of course you would all know if someone needed the space.

How inconsiderate of me, hiding my wheelchair in the boot.

o0 · 07/11/2014 21:27

YABU.

You had other perfectly viable options (others on this thread have stated a few) so there was no need for you to park there.

You parked there for your convenience, not for your family member. If you'd circled then drawn up beside her when you saw her that wouldn't have been any trouble for your FM and you wouldn't have taken up a disabled space.

Dawndonnaagain · 07/11/2014 21:31

Thank you, TheFairy and Beyond.
Signed.

vdbfamily · 07/11/2014 21:32

I personally think there are circumstances where it is acceptable.We recently had to drive back from Scotland after I had broken my leg on holiday. We had not had time to source a wheelchair and I was not walking far on crutches with a heavy cast on my leg. If we had not used disabled spaces at the Travelodge and service stations I would have been unable to access the toilets or cafe or hotel.We always went in and told someone and they were always fine about it.

Fiddlerontheroof · 07/11/2014 21:35

Last person I challenged and asked to move out of a blue badge space so I could use it with my disabled daughter called me, in front of her, a fucking stupid bitch, and was the blue badge for me as I was so fucking fat It made me disabled....

So I don't like asking people to move anymore, no matter how politely ...... If you don't have a badge, you don't park. You should have used another space and watched the door and driven over to collect when they came out.

I'm also sick of people thinking that 5 mins is ok, disabled people don't shop at night so spaces at the supermarket are free and all the other rubbish that people come up with.

Sorry to hear about your family member, but it still doesn't give you the right to park there.

raltheraffe · 07/11/2014 21:35

As I have said DH has a BB and NEITHER of us bother if someone uses a BB space as long as it is not the last one.

Kaffiene · 07/11/2014 21:35

YABU
You dont have a badge please don't park in the space. If you want the space take someone's life long disability.
My DD has a badge and I am sick and tired of the endless excuses why people think they are entitled to use spaces. An actual disability is not temporary inconvience for a week, month or couple of months it's a life long issue that effects every single thing they do.

BeyondPreparedForHell · 07/11/2014 21:36

Annoying isnt it vdb, having a few days experience of life as a disabled person. Imagine how annoying it would be if that was your life, forever. But no, its okay, disabled people just being entitled, not letting injured people share their fought for facilities.

Dawn, may i recommend the facebook groups alongside the petition :)

Dawndonnaagain · 07/11/2014 21:36

No it isn't. Why were you unable to be dropped off at the entrance?

Oh and that heavy cast on your leg, that feeling of weight, discomfort, uselessness, that's the experience of many, many people, daily, for their whole lives, not a couple of bloody months. Your inconvenience doesn't outweigh a lifelong disability.

Fiddlerontheroof · 07/11/2014 21:37

Vdb...surely you weren't driving, so someone could have dropped you at the door then gone and found somewhere to park. You took a space that a wheelchair driver may have needed with space to get in and out of their car!!!

raltheraffe · 07/11/2014 21:37

Fiddlerontheroof I once politely asked a young man and woman to move out the last BB space as they were using it to load items into their car and DH needed it.
I got a lot of swearing and threatening.
So I parked my car across them, blocking them in and went off and did my shopping. Thought the guy was going to hit me at one stage but I did not give a stuff.

TheFairyCaravan · 07/11/2014 21:39

vdb we recently had to stay in a hotel, where there were 2 disabled spaces. Both were occupied with non-BB holders. If we park in normal space I can not get out of the car, because I can not open the door wide enough. DH had to pull up to the door so I could get out with DS2, who could then open the hotel door. DH then parked the car, and we had to repeat the scearnio the next morning.

IMO, it should have been the people without the BB who should have been faffing, not us.

Bearbehind · 07/11/2014 21:41

This is never going to end well.

IMO the OP made it very clear that if she'd seen all the other BB spaces filled up she wouldn't have parked there.

In this instance it wasn't harming anyone.

That's not to say it's ok to park in a BB space if you don't have a badge all the time, it's just saying if it isn't depriving anyone else and there is a genuine reason for it then it's not a major issue.

HedgehogsDontBite · 07/11/2014 21:41

YABVU
Not all disabled parking spaces are equal. Two spaces side by side may look exactly the same to an abled person but there can be minute differences which are massive to a disabled person. At my dr's I know which space is best for me. If another bb holder is already there, fair enough I'll have to take the other. But why should I have to suffer that extra bit because a non bb holder is there?

o0 · 07/11/2014 21:42

People always have so many excuses about why they aren't selfish to use the space. They have an ouchy, or will only be 2 minutes, or will move if someone needs the space, or there's loads of other BB spaces anyway etc.

When you add them to the ones who just out and out don't give a fuck and will use the space and fuck you BB lot, then that adds up to an awful lot of spaces being taken by people that do NOT need them.

But apparently a lot of mumsnetters live in places where there's always dozen of empty BB spaces so I don't know what I'm complaining about. Hmm.